I’ve always valued being smart. When growing up, I was the dumbest of all my friends. They were freakin geniuses, literally. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m reasonably sharp…but I’m not SUPER smart.
However, when I was growing up, I had people tell me. “Bduck, you’re very smart but you’re not so smart it hurts you”. I didn’t know at the time what they meant and tended to take it as an insult. However, as time went on, I realized that ALL my super smart friends imploded. One went to an Ivy league law school, graduated in the top 5% of his class, went on to a great job…and 10 years later was living jobless in a cabin in a rural state. Burned out to a husk. Another, by far the genius of the geniuses…couldn’t complete college and is working a relatively low-type job.
Where it really hit home was graduate school…you know the place where you go in smart and knowledgeable and leave KNOWING you don’t know shit?
There were 32 of us starting out for a Master’s degree. 7 made it. Of the ones who made it…there was one super smart that breezed through and 6 of us that sweated our way through. Of the original 32, many were extremely smart but they didn’t make it. One guy, in particular, while not dumb was not all that bright…but he wanted it and worked the hardest I’ve ever seen anyone work…and he made it. This really opened my eyes.
After grad school and working in industry…I’ve noticed that being smart is nice, but is a pale second to working hard and knowing what to work hard at.
Well, when I got to the age of puberty around 12 or 13 and discovered that intelligence in and of itself did nothing to attract the girls, I knew something was wrong. It took me another thirty years to learn about body language, emotional intelligence, facial perception, and all that stuff. I’m still working on it.
As the person who posted the pit thread, which led to the thread which led to this, I guess I am obligated to answer.
I don’t know if I am smart. Nor do I care. I’d like to think I am, but everyone thinks they are. If I were to wager a bet on my relative smartness, I’d may or may not lose that one. I never ever really considered it, beyond the age of 17 or 18. If at some point I found out I was smart, I’d probably think it not that important.
I value my friends, my family, my job, whatever artistic endeavours I dabble in, some good sex once in a while, my favorite sports teams, and oh, well, maybe decent seafood. So I never realized I was smart, and never considered the importance. Had I ever realized it, I’d like to think it was not important.
When my boss (at the time) and the company in general paid for my degree, then I didn’t get a promotion, raise, “congratulations”, nada. And soon after I noticed that several people who have what I suspect are lower IQ’s are making considerably more than I and are, in fact, far better at the job. They aren’t “smart” but they are dedicated and determined. They know and love their job, and that’s enough for them.
I wish I had half the drive that successful people do. Want to know what passing the Mensa entrance exam thingy got me? A pissed off girlfriend. She desperately wanted to be acknowledged as “smart”, bought study material and took practice tests for months to get ready. I passed the thing after a night of partying and took it just to keep her company.
Smart don’t get you nowhere, it just annoys people when you demonstrate it.
eta - I’m not bragging about my intelligence, mind you. It’s something that I have and I certainly haven’t done anything to earn it. It’s like being a good at baseball. After high school, no one really cares.
I’m pretty sure I realized before I left elementary school that kids who worked hard and were enthusiastic were more successful than “smart” kids.
Even a pretty stupid person can be a great success, but a lazy smart person isn’t likely to amount to anything. The good thing is that the smart person usually realizes that at some point.
But some never do anything about it. I put forth exactly as much effort as is necessary to get what I want, but never any more.
Just because I know this is a path that isn’t going to bring me to a comfortable early retirement doesn’t mean I have the determination to do anything about it.
Of course, I’m the guy that admitted I’m not smart enough to figure out how to cheat on my taxes (not that I would, I just wondered how/why people do), so maybe I shouldn’t be posting here.
Maybe about third grade. I don’t remember a single incident; I just remember realizing that I would never be athletic; that I was smarter than my two BFFs, and that I thought they were more fun that I was; that Brian was not was smart as the teachers thought and Tony was a lot smarter.
Even then I realized that a reputation for being smart is more important than being smart, and that some talents are a lot more popular.
“Smart” is like money; it doesn’t guarantee happiness, but a serious lack of it can bring misery. A little bit more than you need is all you need.
[And I hate to burst your modest little bubble, but I’ve been reading your posts for years now; while Mensa might not beg to lick the jam from between your toes, you qualify by the standard I trust the most. Suck it up and deal.]
I would say it’s a combination of factors. I was brought up in a stable family and associated with friends with a similar background. We all had similar work/study ethics and the combination of hard work and higher education led to its natural conclusion. Outside influences that affect job stability is a different discussion.
I think it happened in graduate school, during my third year. I had a conversation with the professor who would have been my adviser, during which I realized that despite being the world’s leading expert in hyperbolic Coxeter groups, he was clueless. Shortly after that, I dropped out of grad school.
The smartest guy in my high school class was also the most personable, most handsome, and one of the most athletic. Just out of the Air Force Academy, he was the commander of the plane that he flew. Later he went to a good law school and was editor of the law review. He handles corporate mega-million dollar cases and remains one of the finest guys you’ll ever meet – still a friend to his high school buds.
The kids in my class were really smart and left me in the dust. Everyone looked up to them. I had no idea until I had completed college that in some places it wasn’t cool to be smart. That has got to be sour grapes. Who would choose to be limited? I’ll take the smart kids for company anytime.
“Smart” very often gets defined as having an advanced level of understanding in a narrowly focused field. If you’re not able to see where that knowledge is applicable and where it isn’t, and use the talents that gained you that knowledge to understand new and unfamiliar situations, how smart are you really?
Midway through college, I had the epiphany: “Nobody likes an asshole.” It *finally * hit me that social skills and kindness can get you places that smarts never will. It’s great to be smart. It’s not great to have smart as the only thing going for you.
I’ll go out on a limb here and say in my adult life, it has become more important than ever.
I make no claims as to where my intelligence, such as it is, stands with respect to the general population. Hama knows what a retard I am and has for quite some time.
But what I can say is that intelligence has opened up educational doors, has opened up professional doors, and has enabled me to acquire a set of professional skills that would come at a greater personal cost to me if I had less comfort with academics and abstractions. I am pretty well rewarded in the workplace and can pinpoint where I am with respect to the median income for my city, state, and country with some precision. As I spend more time in my career, the rewards both for intelligence and leadership yield increasing marginal returns over time.
So sure, passing tests isn’t everything, and I do not expect my colleagues to be impressed by my “intellectual” hobbies. I am not particularly impressed by them. They’re fun. What matters is that I can solve problems, and for that I am recognized and rewarded.
Is some degree of intelligence sufficient for success and happiness in my little world? No. Necessary? Yes, I am afraid it is. It is very important and is something people care quite deeply about.
