When did you realize "I'll never really understand (wo)men?" (light-hearted)

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

My wife and I were watching Rocky (the original) last night when, during the fight scene, Rocky asks that his swollen eye be cut as to reduce the swelling. A blade came out, slit Rocky’s eye, and blood started spraying over his face.

Watching this, my wife asked “What are they doing? Why?” I responded that they’re slicing open the swelling that’s developed on his eyelid in order to to make it bleed, so that it will allow him to see better, so he can continue the fight.

She then asked “Is he” (Apollo Creed) “allowed to hit Rocky in that eye again?”
“Well, yes, of course.”
“Then why is he getting his eye cut?”
“So he can stay in the fight.”

“… I don’t think I’ll ever understand men.”

My realization came in a discussion over clothes-buying habits. I came home one day with 3-4 pairs of jeans, when the following discussion ensued:

“Did they all fit?”
“Uh… of course. They’re my size.”
“You tried them on, didn’t you?”
“Uh… of course not. They’re my size.”
“Then how do you know that they fit?”
“Uh… you see? They’re all my size. 36w-34l, right there on the label.”
“What does the label have to do with anything?”

It was here that my confusion began.

“Well, 36 is my waist size, in inches. I measured. 34 is my inseam - I measured that, too. Therefore, when I went to the store, all I had to do is find jeans that are 36-34. I’m a pretty easy fit.”
“And you expect the label to give you the correct size?”
“Of course - it always has. When have you ever seen me return a pair of pants just because they didn’t fit?”
“You mean you never try on your clothes? You just expect them to fit?”
“Babe, an “inch” is pretty well defined and has been for centuries. They should fit. Why try on a pair of jeans when it states precisely how big the waist is compared to the inseam? What’s there to ‘try’?”

It was then that I got a lecture on womens clothes - about how they are (apparently) based upon something called “sizes”, with each “size” being dependant upon who made the garment. (I.e., somebody’s size 3 might be another company’s size 4 - however the hell that works).

“So… why don’t y’all just measure your clothes in inches?”
“What? Why would we do that?”
“Hell, I don’t know. What about rationalizing the process?”
“But when you buy a pair of jeans, you’re only looking at two numbers - waist and inseam. When a woman buys a pair of jeans, she has to be concerned about the waist, inseam, and hips.”
“Well… use three numbers. In inches. To use one number that means nothing when three are required in order to signify very real size-differences is silly.”

Which is, apparently, the point.

And as to why women “put up” with this (this “putting up with” I’m basing off my wife’s acceptance of this being The Way Things Should Be), I will never understand.

How about your moment when you realized that, no matter how hard you tried, no matter how many books you read or people you’ve talked to, you will never really understand the opposite sex?

2

I have had the exact same discussion with my wife plenty of times. She finally believes me. All men have to do is sort through the pile, find your size, and them hold them up to make sure they aren’t some funky cut which does happen occasionally with mens clothes. My shoe size stays consistent as well. I don’t need to clothes on because I hate it although I will slip (one) shoe on to try. I have never gotten burned because, as you say, the inch is gaining ground quickly in America as a standard unit of measure.

3

I think I understand women pretty well. What do women want? You’re supposed to know what they want by mental telepathy, without having to ask or their having to say anything. And if you don’t, it shows how selfish and uncaring you are.

4

And I don’t have to explain to either of you just why Rocky had to cut his eyelid in order for it to get hit again. By the rules of man-logic, he had no choice. :wink:

5

-Is everything ok?

-Yes (meaning no)

-Ok

-You don’t understand!

-You got that right.

6

JohnT, the problem is that for women’s garments, sizes aren’t standardized, so they don’t size them the way men’s garments are.

It has to do with “vanity sizing”-some genius got the idea to sell larger clothes with smaller sizes, to make women feel they weren’t as heavy as they really were.

I’d love it if they were sold in standard inches, but, hey, what can you do?

(That and some jeans are cut differently, and I want to see how they LOOK).

7

But the thing, you see, about women’s shoes, unlike men’s, is the sheer breadth and the variety of the shoe “style”. For example, I wear a smaller size in a flat shoe with a rounded toe than I do with a high heel with a pointy toe. It has to the way the my foot and toes are shaped.

8

Ugh, don’t even get me started on clothes. My girlfriend is a girly-girl. Me, I work construction. She cuts hair and does all that pedicure women stuff. I wear blue jeans and a white tshirt ALL the time. She wears all the best stuff. I can’t understand how someone can spend so much money on clothes and shoes. I have two pairs of work boots, that’s it. No sneakers. Seriously, I had a ton of clothes she bought me, but I will not wear them. Two months ago I bagged them all up and gave them to the Epilepsy Foundation.

9

That was actually going to be my next point. My wife knew that I needed some shoes and she happened upon a sale where they had some basic blacks that looked nice. She proudly brought them home and I was happy until I looked at the size. “11? I wear an 11 1/2?” She was unfazed and told me to try them on. I told her truthfully that they were a little too small. “They look like they fit” she replied as if it was fine to just eyeball them from across the room.

She wears a size 7 but she has shoes from sizes 6 - 8. It isn’t just about variability between brands and styles however. Like many females, her tolerance for size diversion increases as the sale gets bigger and the style gets cuter. It took me a while to explain that my shoes have to 11 1/2 and I repeated that for about a year and I finally think she got it.

10

I only did that once, when I was 17, and there was this pair of shoes that I fell in love with that were also on sale, but alas a half size too small. Yep, I bought them anyway. I wore them maybe a couple of times before resigning myself to the fact that limping around school was not the way to go even if I were fashionably shod. That didn’t stop me from keeping them for quite a while though, in their unworn state, so that I could cast longing looks at them in my closet.

11

I used to buy clothes without trying them on, but my wife had the same reaction as the OP’s wife. So now I go into the dressing room and wait long enough so that it appears that I’ve tried them on. I’m in there long enough that I could actually try them on, but then the terrorists would win and we can’t have that.

I understand women, in general. They’re pretty simple, in general. The problem is in understanding a given woman at a given time. That’s generally impossible.

12

I had the same jeans-based conversation with 'im indoors when he bought five pairs of jeans without trying them on. I still don’t understand men…oh, and the jeans don’t fit him anywhere near as well as they ought to. I think he just bought the same size he had last time and is sailing down that river in Egypt where his expanding girth is concerned.

He’s funny about clothes too - he wears nothing but black jeans, black t-shirts and a black cotton/canvas type shirt, and Doc Martens. Very occasionally he’ll go as far as a black sweater but hardly ever.

I’ve bought him black shirts and other black tops that I know would look good on him but he flatly refused to wear them. So I gave up.

No, I still don’t understand men. Well, not that one anyway.

13

I’m female but I’ll never understand people from Venus (of any gender). I understand most men just fine… Mom says that’s why I’m not married.

14

True story! shopping with a female friend (I went for a videogame, her car was dead, she tagged along, costed me 3 hours):

Friend goes into shoe store and after an eternity and a half, she comes out with new shoes:

f: So, what do you think?
Me: Beautiful, just perfect (as if)
f: No, I mean which ones do you like better?

It turns out they were different shoes (how could I have known?) and she was asking me which ones I liked better. Stupid trick questions.

15

See, that proves I’m from Mars, I too have problems distinguishing the pair of navy blue pumps with a three-link decorative chain from the pair of navy blue pumps from the same manufacturer with a four-link decorative chain. My female relatives think I’m some sor of astronomic anomaly.

16

Good lord. The Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle applies to something other than particles…we might need to rename it the Gusterson Uncertainty Principle…

17

I love my wife, I really do. But in many ways, she is very strange to me.

Every morning, she washes her hair. If she doesn’t “do anything with it”, it dries curly. So, she first blow-dries it, taking great pains to ensure that it ends up straight.

Then, she attacks it with a curling iron.

I guess the natural curls are in the wrong place, or something.

18

I read in a book that a woman car passenger said to the male driver “Are you thirsty?”
He said “No, I’m fine” and drove on.
When they finally stopped there was an argument.

I asked a female friend about this and she said “Why didn’t the driver stop as soon as possible? The woman is telling him she is thirsty!”

:confused:

19

Heh heh. It seems like just yesterday I was asking my father what women wanted.

Actually, it was just yesterday.

I’ve finally worked out what my GF means when she asks if I want anything from DQ. And it’s a cardinal sin to say “I don’t care, but if you want to get something, I will too.”

20

How about buying 2 or 3 different sizes and/or styles and then deciding at home which ones to keep and which to return. I don’t think I have ever in my life returned a single piece of clothing I bought.

a) Because it was the right size
and
b) Because I made up my mind before buying it.

The last thing I ever want to do is go back to a store.

Here’s another thing: do all you gals wait until you have absolutely nothing to wear and then have to spend $500 on clothes? Or do you do what I do, buy - you know - the occasional shirt or pair of pants now and again so that the $500 is spread over 2 or 3 years.

Same with hair. I’ve had the same hair cut - albeit shorter and grayer - since I was 9 years old! I go every 2 to 3 months for a $12 dollar touch-up. That’s it. Life is so much easier for men. Really.