When you search the question from the title on google, you just get a bunch of tips like ,try to meditate, not eat before sleeping,etc" , but I want to know exactly at which point do we fall asleep, when our brain slows down to a certain rate, when we keep our eyes closed for a certain amount of time or something else? I want to know on what from these stuff to focus on, for example I sometimes I focus on being as comfortable as I can, sometimes I try to count, sometimes I try to clear my mind entirely, sometimes to close my eyes as hard as I can and then just keep them from opening,etc, but I haven’t seen any advantage in any of these and I do all the tips, like not eat before, cold room and so on and even when I am really, really tired I have a hard time falling asleep, so I just want to know what is the main ,switch" to focus on it.
As asked, I think it’s kind of an IMHO topic.
GQ, if pursued, might be on definition of initiation of sleep in a consistent way across scientific studies.
ETA: and then OP can focus on that, over and over again, asking himself “so am I there yet?” as a method of trying to sleep…
Let’s define first what science considers the onset of sleep to be.
Medically, sleep begins when we move from the drowsy state to the Non-REM state, N-1 as a rule.
From UpToDate.com, a website for medical practitioners.
Whether a born insomniac, current/past drug abuser, elderly person, or raging stress freak sleep will eventually become something you’ll have to try really hard to do at times. Some people are good at tiring themselves out, some take sleeping pills, and some toss and turn.
If at all possible lay on your stomach. I find this position the easiest to fall asleep in. Hands at your side and palms facing upward. DO NOT MOVE. Fixate your vision on something abstract (i.e. - a silhouette beside your door; shadowed by stuffed animals on the floor) and try to name 10-15 different things you could make of that shadow or cluster of clothes hanging off the edge of your bed. If this bores you or you complete quickly turn head and do the very same again. If THAT doesn’t work you may need to read up on mediation methods and/or being mindful. Do not keep phone on or where it can make any noise whatsoever and keep it in your bathroom or somewhere out of reach. Also, if I start reviewing my weekly “to-do” list in my head over and over again I usually fall asleep around the third day.
I had to have a sleep study done recently and apparently very few people are aware of when they actually fall asleep. I thought I woke up several times during the night and remembered doing it (along with being pissed because I knew it would be a pain in the ass to go back to sleep). When they showed me the results it turned out that I had slept through the entire night. I had fallen asleep within about 15 minutes (I thought it took me an hour or so) and went through mostly normal cycles. The doctor mentioned that frequently they have people who swear they didn’t sleep at all, but the results show they slept through the entire night or only woke up maybe once.
Overall it appeared that I go into very light sleep, so they mentioned it could have just been me dreaming but dreaming of being awake, including cues that had actually happened (sort of like when someone talks in your dream, and it is really someone talking to you trying to wake you up in real life).
It was a pretty interesting experience, but if you haven’t had one then a sleep study is probably the best way to go. It wasn’t too big of a deal and they’ll be able to tell you exactly when you are falling asleep. I have found myself to be a lot less worried about it now that I know I will generally get a good nights rest regardless of what I think.
I googled neurology of falling asleep and got a bunch of hits that look like they might address the sort of questions OP is asking.
Here’s one, for example: How Do We Fall Asleep?
ETA: Here’s another, that looks a lot more technical: How sleep works.