No, I have views on pressuring people to have sex with people they don’t want to have sex with? You don’t?
No it isn’t, but that’s not what we’re talking about anyway. And you need to make up your mind whether you’re for pressuring people to swing or against it.
Three 3-6 year’ers. The shortest relationship I’ve been in was 6 months. They end because I’m still young and flighty. Anyway, these relationships are where I have developed these views. In my experience, guys appreciate girl who is honest, straightforward, and knows who she is and what’s important to her. I’m perfectly able to compromise on any number of things, just not things that are fundamental to the person that I am today- like my friends of many years.
Like being uncomforatable with her SO being bff’s with his ex wife?
If that is indeed true, the rest of your post follows logically from that, but I’m not getting that at all from the original post.
If the wife did already (in the past, long since discussed & agreed to) indeed make it clear that it was important to her that her significant other cleave to her and forsake all others (friends, former lovers, any combo of the two), then the husband is in NO position to say Hey Wait a Minute… I don’t mean he isn’t allowed to speak, but it’s not like he wasn’t warned going in.
But I’m just not seeing that in the post. I read it more as “right now IS still the beginning, and she is IN THE PROCESS of saying all this”. Good for her for doing so, but if keeping friends is important to him, HE should say so, and he is as entitled to his priorities as she is. The OP is of course neither of those people, and if the husband says “OK”, then the OP kind of has to live with that. Sucks to be her.
Me, I’d never agree to cutting my ex’s (or any other friends) out of my life, but people ARE different and DO want (and value) different things.
AHunter3, I think you missed this post.
So yeah, he knew going in. Not that he didn’t have the right to tell her to get bent if he wasn’t okay with dropping the OP, but unless he was painfully stupid, he knew.
I did miss that. OK consider me to be in agreement with you.
Sure it is, in both cases you have a partner pushing their partner to make a change in their interpersonal relationship style that most people would think is unusual to try to pressure someone to do.
If you don’t think pressuring someone to drop their friends is as emotionally damaging as pressuring someone to swing, you haven’t known many people in abusive relationships.
I am “pressuring people to swing” in exactly the same way as you’re pressuring people to be prudes–that is, not at all.