Of course, conventional wisdom says that if you are pursued by an angry mob who are armed with raspberries, you should release the tiger. Because the tiger will eat your attackers, and also eat the raspberries.
However, could a tiger, an animal that is classified as a true carnivore, be relied upon to eat the raspberries?
Wouldn’t it make more sense to release the grizzly bear? Grizzlies are fond of berries and would no doubt devour the raspberries, mob, pointed sticks, and all.
Raspberries don’t kill people, raspberry allergies kill people who are extremely allergic to Raspberries. And I suppose if you get one logged in the Trachea , but then it’s really the asphyxiation that kills the person not the Raspberry per se. Or if maybe you slip on the goo of a raspberry on teh street, and break your head, but that is really more of a combination of gravity and rapid deceleration doing the killing.
Pull out your cellphone, call doordash, and order 500 Mrs. Fields cookies and 250 pints of Ben&Jerry’s plain vanilla ice cream. Then borrow a cuisinart from one of the people in the mob and whip up a raspberry coulis.
Now you’re ready to distract the angry mob with dessert (as soon as you get plates, napkins, flatware, tables, chairs, and whipped cream).
I have not been trained to face an angry mob armed with raspberries and only nominally instructed in how to defend myself against an attacker with a banana so I’m not sure what I would do .
Princess Blueberry knows which is which. But you still have to guess if she’s telling you the truth. Would she rather you get killed by a tiger than see you with another berry?