What am I going to do??? I look like an idiot. I look like I’m crying, but I’m not. I keep having to wipe my left eye. Maybe I look like I’ve got some disease where the eyes water.
Imply it’s allergies. “woo! high pollen count today” wipe eyes. Not strictly lying…
Just wipe your eye. If and when the interviewer seems to notice, aplogize for being slightly distracted while talking to them (there’s no shame in having a physical issue like that, but it’s polite to acknowledge that you’re not giving the other person your absolute complete attention). Something like “Excuse me, I guess I have something in my eye.” If you wear contacts, then mention them (always an excuse for watering eyes).
I know what you mean! And thinking about it just makes it worse. Part of it has got to be psychological, but it’s got to have something to do with those awful office lights and sterile air, too. Or maybe it’s got to do with making eye contact… Allergies or something in the old eye is a fine cover, as long as you don’t get too distracted to make a good impression.
It’s possible that you’re experiencing a very strong stress reaction that you can’t fully control on the conscious level no matter how hard (on the conscious level) that you try.
In an intereview situation, particularly one involving a highly competitive position, no matter how good you are, you will need every little little bit of “edge” that you can get.
I sincerely recommend that you try going to a hypno-therapist to help you gain that essential small “edge”. The money you spend in half a dozen or more sessions (yes, two or three sessions would probably suffice. Hypnotherapists are con artists up to a point - they also need to make a living) will be returned to you ten or a hundred fold.
Let me put it to you bluntly. As an interviewer I have personally seen your type (and many other types) of stress reaction in real life interviews and, rightly or wrongly, no selection panel that I’ve ever been involved with has ever appointed anyone who’s in anything resembling a tearful state during the interview.
Final piece of advice: Don’t feel ashamed about going to a hypno-therapist. You need to get that “edge”.
Wow, hypnotherapy just because your eyes are watering? That really seems like overkill. Of course, I’m one of those who thinks letting someone else control my subconscious, no matter how benevolent or “safe”, is grounds for problems. They claim you have a built in safety in that you won’t do anything you don’t really want to do, but I’ve seen that contradicted by carefully crafted statements too often. I mean, it’s pretty much the point of stage hypnosis to get people to do what they wouldn’t ordinarily do.
And, frankly, pretty much anything that is actually controllable subconsciously is also controllable on a conscious level, if you learn how. And hypnotherapy doesn’t have the greatest success rates for stopping behaviors. Especially if the behavior has a large physiological component. So it’s low gain, high risk. Why bother?
ETA: Heck, if it works well enough on a particular person, I could see them being hypnotized to think the therapy worked well, whether it acheived the original goal or not, get you to pay more than you normally would, or even go around advertising for the profession. And if that isn’t possible to change you like that, what’s the prognosis for any other long lasting change?
I merely offered it as a suggestion.
I described my own experiences on selection panels that have interviewed people who exhibited symptoms of stress. That was simply to inform her how panelists perceived such people.
Lillith Fair is at liberty to take my suggestion or leave it.
I second this. You could even fake a sneeze just before you enter the doorway, if you can pull it off. But it’s probably much less noticeable than you think - especially if you draw attention away from it rather than towards it. A discreet wipe now and then is fine.
I hate to fib, even on something so small. I would simply say: Please forgive me, my eye is watering for some reason - please don’t let it distract the interview. And occasionally I would wipe with with a tissue. Make sure you smile and in other ways appear calm. In fact, I recommend you smile a lot - everyone likes a happy person.
Having been a hiring manager I don’t think this would bother me much.
If it’s stress related, perhaps a stiff belt of chamomile tea, a half a valium or something similar would help to ease your anxiety.
Could * be * allergies. Do you just have the one real good, wool interview suit, for example?
Alternatively, if you have a variety of interview clothes that have been in storage, it could be dust mites. Clothes that have been stored, especially if they or other clothes in the bunch have been worn enough to have some skin cells on them, breed dust mites.
I think it’s worth finding out for yourself if it is stress, the environment (if you are applying to work in an environment that triggers an environmental allergy, better to know that now), the clothes, or something else. Do some experiments to see what makes it flair up.
Let’s see…the hypnotherapy sounds interesting but (does everyone say this?) I don’t think my subconscious would ever allow itself to be hypnotized.
In the two instances when the eye watering happened the interviews weren’t even scary or crucial. For this last one I had on a new outfit–I did not wash it first. Maybe that’s it. I always wash my clothes first, but this was a suit. A horrible horrible suit. I despise wearing a suit.
My main problem with interviews is that it feels like lying to me. I mean, I am not lying. But both parties are kind of presenting a “best of” side. Either about the job itself or the fabulous way you will do that job.
So, when I lie my eyes water. That’s the gist of it. But, like I said, I’m not really lying, I’m just acting all perky and happy. This is not me. I am not perky or happy.
Maybe if I just believe that I am perky and happy? Then I can really not be pretending and my eyes won’t water?
Lillith I know exactly what you mean. It used to happen to me all the time also. It’s not allergies or dust mites or anything else. You’re fine until just before the interview itself, but when you get in there and start listening to bullshit questions, by people who for the most part you consider to be idiots, and you feel like you’re putting on a false front, which you don’t want to do - your eyes start watering and it looks a little like you’re crying, or about to cry, but really your just frustrated and uncomfortable.
I know it well.
I’d stay away from valium of anything like that - that will work against you, making you seem slow or dull-witted. On the other hand, stay away from stimulants like coffee, they might make it worse.
Mainly, I’d recommend trying to inhabit a role of someone who thrives in that kind of BS environment just for the duration of the interview. Put on the mask completely like a method actor would and just go from there. If you can convince yourself that the interview is a place where you want to be and that you are enjoying talking with those people, you might be able to avoid the eye leakage. Good luck!
Thanks, Isamu! I think you got it right.