When I have money I can waste, I'm going to...

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Post your own ideas for projects/endeavors that would be a total waste of money and time, and would exist only to justify your personal whim. It need make sense only to you.

For me, I want to make a series of commercials advertizing a potato peeler. I haven’t thought of a name for it yet, but that’s a secondary consideration.

I’m going to do bogus “man/woman on the street” interviews and hire actors to be interviewed. They’ll gush and blather how
[ul]
[li]the potato peeler changed their lives[/li][li]they can’t believe they managed to survive all this time without this potato peeler[/li][li]it helps them organize their day and leaves time for their family[/li][li]it saved their businesses and their livelihood[/li][/ul]

Next, I’ll hire Hollywood-level CGI animators to make commercials that show gigantic high-tech robots stopping what they’re doing to behold the potato peeler ascending from high-tech heaven to grace and bless their lives, and they fall to their mechanical knees and prostrate themselves before this awesome kitchen tool.

Next, I’ll hire washed-up celebrities and have them re-enact iconic moments from their careers with the potato peeler inserted. For instance, Carrie Fisher will recreate the scene where Princess Leia witnesses Han Solo being lowered into the freezer pit. She’ll say “I love you,” the audience will hear Han Solo say “I know,” but will see the potato peeler in his place. I’ll get some former presidents to recreate key points of their careers with the potato peeler as well, like having Obama look on as the leader of Iran signs the nuclear treaty, then peels a potato in celebration.

As far as distributing the product goes, I’ll only release a few dozen nationwide. The lucky few who gets their hands on one will have collector items, values determined solely by the extremes of the status quo. Then, I’ll distribute billions of the same potato peeler a year later, have them collect dust on every Walmart shelf in existence, and make everyone despise them and never want to see them again.

Why? Just to expose the Pavlovian Dog response of the average consumer, the advertiser mentality that all Americans are gullible pigs, and to demonstrate that no matter how smart or talented you are, all you have to do is massively overexpose yourself to earn your place in history. Or just to be weird.

2

My dream:

  1. Buy 2 747s, and fit them out so they can take off and fly without pilots. Put a camera in the pilot seat so you can fly it visually from the ground.

  2. Load them up to the brim with fireworks, explosives and gasoline.

  3. Crash them head on at maybe 10,000 feet over, say, a large lake.

  4. Enjoy the fireworks.

3

This pretty much describes my entire existence! :smiley:

4

Exactly. Does “living” count?

5

Hire some goons to track down Rachel/Carmen/Bridgette from Card Services, along with Tyson from Microsoft and James Brown from Geek Squad and beat them all senseless.

6

I’d buy a radio station and only play what I wanted to play. I’d also make sure to remind my listeners what I’d refuse to play- Skynyrd, Yes, Bob Seger, Charlie Daniels, Van Morrison, Michael McDonald (alone or with that band he ruined), James Taylor, Dan Fogelberg, and on and on-

A couple weeks would probably satisfy me. Then I’d sell it and go on to other pursuits.

7

Didn’t Bruce Willis do that in a movie?

8

…buy even more stuff for the Wrangler. =|

9

If we are talking about my actual plans that I’m going to do with the money I can realistically expect to have, I plan to buy an RV and a CanAm Spider and basically bum around the country (well, the US, Canada and Mexico at least) when I’m not going on cruises. Oh, and take my monkey dog basically everywhere to do his bucket list…that commercial where the guy does that always breaks me up, and poor little monkey only has so much life left in him. :frowning:

If we are talking about money that I’ll never likely have but if I did then there are the smaller things I’d do with mere tens of millions, and those I’d do if suddenly I inherited all of Bill Gates and Warren Buffet’s and the Koch brothers fortunes. If we are talking mere tens of millions I’ve always wanted to go on an archeological adventure somewhere, so I’d fund one to one of the untouched archeological sites out there, or maybe a real (and very expensive) Black Sea search for wrecks.

If it’s inheriting lots and lots of billions, then I’d fund a real expedition to Mars. Set up all that money into a series of trusts that would pay out 10 or so billion a year, hire some of the best space services companies out there to build my lifters, habitats and such, put it on a 10 year or so timeline and then do it…with me along, of course. So, there would be some training and, gulp, exercise in this, which would suck, but damned if I wouldn’t do that if I had the money.

10

Has anyone ever had an entire house chromed?

11

No, but now I want to.

12

Trump had a pretty disconcerting percentage of one gold-plated. Does that count?

13

Close but from my experience with leaf, its a lot more forgiving on fingerprints.

14

I’d hire a team of scientists who will invent a remote controlled device that will blow out the speakers of obnoxiously loud stereos and ground thumpers. Or maybe it would be better to blow out the eardrums of the users of such devices.

15

Hire a bunch of scientists with the sole and express purpose of developing nanotech which will cover the White House and turn it an indelible fuchsia.

From then on, any time I watch the news, and the anchor has trouble pronouncing " at the Fuchsia House tonight" I will know that I have both realized my dreams and made a difference.

Similar thing if I had 3 wishes - but without the scientists. First wish: turn the White House fuchsia. Second wish: Again! Third wish: Again!

16

Or both.

17

Die of a heart attack when I found out because that is just my luck.

My relatives will probably make a life like statue of me so there is that.

18

So much money I can stupidly waste it? Let’s see…

How about I pay to have Klingon translations added to all the road signs in Ontario? :slight_smile:

19

I would open up a research and development company. I am an expert at nothing so I would have to hire all the experts and just give them any assignment I felt like whether it was profitable or not.
We would specialize in giant bows and arrows, catapults and other very important things.

20

I would tear down my house and put this ro another storybook house in its place.