When is a teacher too "bad" to be any good?

In My Humble Opinion
1

My daughter started kindergarten this year… she was in an excellent (if free-form) preschool for the three years prior, and I did what I could to make her understand that kindergarten would NOT match what she was used to in preschool. I emphasized both the good (bigger stories, learning, better playground equipment) and the bad (having to raise your hand to ask permission to speak or go to the bathroom).

This particular teacher, apparently, is (by general consensus, not just my kid’s opinion) by far the strictest teacher in kindergarten.

Well, heck, I think - she’ll just get her worst teacher right off and things will improve as the school years go by.

My daughter comes home from K now and says things like:
“The teacher is nuts, really nuts.”
“The teacher yells so loud she interrupts the other classes.”
“The teacher never smiled today, not even once.”
“Can’t I please be absent tomorrow?”
“How do we get a substitute teacher?”

Her comments alone are startling to me - is this NORMAL dialogue for a kindergartener?

I have also had friends (who also have their children in the same school) make several comments on the general ‘unhappiness’ of this teacher.

So to be proactive, I should have another parent-teacher conference, right?

I say another one, because we’ve already had one when her performance and behavior in class were bordering on sub-par… I even went so far at that point to visit her old preschool to ask them if she’d ever shown signs of this behavior (no) and what kind of student she was (definitely above-average).

So if I do have another parent-teacher conference, how can I ask the teacher why she’s so, well, CRANKY? Or to refine the issue, it’s not my problem or my child’s problem that she’s cranky, she should leave it outside the classroom.

AND, further, am I being the ‘overprotective parent’ in this instance and my child just needs a little extra help adjusting to kindergarten routine?

My daughter (luckily for all of us) has a very involved extended family and the grandparents on both sides are voting for having her moved to another teacher’s classroom. One of these sets of grandparents are teachers themselves and have taught for 15+ years each - so I don’t take their recommendation lightly!

What do you think and what would you do?

2

I am not a parent… but to me, these small facts seem obvious:

  1. Your kid is not having fun. A kid who is not having fun will…
  2. Seem to return sub-par scores in exams, assessments etc which will …
  3. affect their outlook on schooling, learning and education in general.

This is a very important part of your child’s schooling. Why risk it all going to hell over a single unhappy teacher? Be off with her! If you can’t get rid of the teacher, consider moving your child to a school with a nicer/more effective/more interested teacher. She’ll thank you for it.

Just my 2c worth :slight_smile:
Max.

3

Move her.

Yesterday.

Your youngster is at a very impressionable time in her life, and the fact that she notices things like the teacher disrupting other classes or desiring a substitute shows that she has an interest in school, but has real issues with the teacher. Listen to those issues!

If you don’t, I predict you’ll wind up with a little girl who really doesn’t like school, and not just because it’s school, but because she’s unwilling or unable to communicate effectively with future teachers.

4

Have you expressed your concerns with the principal of the school?

It seems like the teacher has issues. Maybe you can speak to some of the other parents?

5

See if your library has this book:

How to Get Your Child a Private School Education in a Public School
by Marty Nemko, Barbara Nemko (Contributor), Martin Nemko

It’s out of print but you might be able to get a used copy somewhere. One caveat - it’s been a good number of years since I read it and it may be out of date or less useful than I remember.

6

Or maybe you could just explain to the delicate, spoiled brat that in real life we have to learn to get along with all kinds of people, whether we like them or not. The earlier this lesson is learned, the easier life will be on the kid later. Teacher yells? OMG, lifetime trauma! Later in life, that kid will have to get along with bosses, co-workers, neighbors, associates of all stripes that she cannot simply “get rid of” or have “replaced” for a more palatable model.

7

I have worked in elementary schools, and I could sympathise with the behavior of this kindergarten teacher if the school was a really tough school with many disruptive children (which I have worked in). Of course I mainly worked with fourth and fifth graders. And I am not sure if any such yelling is appropriate with kindergarteners - unless something extraordinary happened. If this teacher really was behaving quite this way, I am sure other teachers and administrators would know; elementary schools are usually pretty small and everyone knows what goes on in each teacher’s class.

Is this an older teacher? Some teachers are relics of the “spare the rod and spoil the child” era. If not, maybe teaching is just too stressfull for this person.

8

This statement swung the balance for me. Because of it, I’m taking Suspenderzzz’s side in this. What is bad about having to raise one’s hand to ask permission? Kindergarten is to prepare a child for what’s ahead, and in that world people raise their hands (even adults, out of school, do it.)

9

In this sentance in the first paragraph I assumed Caspar meant the things to be expected, which daughter would find bad, but would be necessary.

The things being being objected to are ‘nuts, really nuts’ and ‘yelling so loud she interrupts other classes,’ etc. I’d say these don’t necessarily mean the teacher is wrong - if she yelled a couple of times at dangerous behaviour, and had some rules the kids didn’t understand, etc, they might easily think these - but Caspar’d should check it out with the principal, for instance, if daughter seems unhappy.

10

I’d suggest, if you haven’t already, going in one day as a parent helper. I assume they have/allow that sort of thing. That way, you can get a true feel for what the classroom is like. It’s possible that anxiety about being in a new school with a new style of teaching is really what your daughter is having problems with, and is letting that out on her attitude towards the teacher.

11

I find that kindergarten-aged children usually have extremely realistic ideas of what constitutes “nuts.” Listen to your brilliant, perfect goddess of a child and report this lunatic educator to the FBI.

12

Do you have any examples of things this teacher does (other than speaking loudly, which could just have been once to get everyone to be quiet if they were being particularly rowdy) that are potentially destructive? There’s nothing concrete in the OP other than that (at least IMO) that suggests a bad teacher. And even that isn’t necessarily the mark of one. My kindergarten teacher was one of the best teachers I’ve yet had and she was no stranger to using her voice loudly if the situation called for it.

13

I have to say I am with Suspenderzzz here. Sounds to me like three years of ‘free form’ has created some odd expectations in your kid as to what the rest of life will be like.

14

UPDATE: I called the school this morning, spoke to the counselor there about possible adjustment problems prompting this sort of dialogue. She’s going to observe my child from a distance at odd hours of the day for the rest of the week and give me some feedback.

I also spoke to the Vice Principal (very nice lady) who was somewhat unreceptive to my feedback about the teacher, though she let me vent. She sent a note to the teacher, who called me herself this afternoon. I suggested a conference, she suggested we talk on the phone right then. Okay, can-do. I’m flexible.

To make an excessively long conversation very short, it turns out that her classroom has three children who are on “behavior contracts”. I’m inferring from this title that she has three disciplinary problem children in her classroom. She admitted that these “contract” children get extra focus (both discipline and reward). Current resolution, by her suggestion, is for her to balance her attention among all of the students. Follow-up on Friday or Monday to check progress with both the teacher and the counselor. Upon further review with the vice principal, she is one of three teachers who have ‘special skills’ in ‘behavior contract’ children. They make it a point to include these children in regular classrooms, though I’m not quite sure how I feel about MY child being used as a ‘good example’ for these children?! I’ll have to chew on that one.

Shade, THANK YOU for the vote of confidence and logic! That’s precisely how I intended it to read… not what she was accustomed to in her preschool, but that’s how it is in elementary!

iampunha, I had a teacher in elementary school who would throw a stapler (always missing of course) at the erring student, but we all loved her anyhow (and sometimes deliberately provoked the throw, just for grins). But yes, there have been other instances. i.e. my daughter got a disciplinary note home and in her school file for using a glue stick excessively (she DID cover the whole page with the glue stick - it was sent home with the note - but a disciplinary note in the file?). There are other factors, too, and like I said I know she’s a very strict teacher. That in itself wouldn’t prompt me to look into moving her out of the classroom (real life being you don’t get to leave if you don’t like someone). But my daughter’s growing resentment of this teacher will prevent the teacher from teaching and the student from learning if the dynamic doesn’t change…

How’s that, Suspenderzzz and kniz? :wink:

Also BTW, Cuate I did check with my daughter, pointing out that I probably yell at her at least once a day for something or another… <chuckles> Her response? “But I love you anyway, mommy!” (oooh, the guilt!!) But yes, she is an older teacher - tough as nails but seems to be usually fair, so we’ll see how the ‘improvements’ go!

15

Shall we expect a five-year-old to think of a teacher the same way she would think of a co-worker or boss as a teenager or as an adult?

A kindergarten teacher is on a completely different level than a high school teacher. While I agree that the kids won’t be traumatized if a teacher yells once or twice, in this situation the teacher is still a big, intimidating adult. I’m aware that later in life the kids will have to deal with nasty and intimidating teachers and co-workers and bosses, but these are five-year-olds here. They’ve got a long way to go before they hit real life.

Rhum Runner, this kid isn’t complaining just out of having been in a free-form school, it seems to be the general consensus among her (non-free-form-educated, I’m assuming) classmates.

I’d second Eonwe here. The kids might be exaggerating or taking what the teacher says or does out of context. You also might want to ask other parents whose kids are in your daughter’s class if they’ve noticed anything along those lines.

16

Dang. Beaten.

Looks like you’re handling this pretty well, Casper. Let us know how it goes.

17

Or maybe we could ignore the “delicate spoiled brat” (on what do you base this characterization, exactly?), no matter how bad her teacher is* and she can learn the lesson about living with bosses who make her work overtime without playing her,neighbors who let their dog crap in her yard, maybe even boyfriend who beat her up because what do her protests matter anyway?

*and how bad is that? I don’t know. But neither do you. And that’s what Casper is trying to figure out. There’s another side to the coin there, at the very least.

18

Thanks

That seems to sum it up. (Not assuming she’s bad at all, perhaps)