Not sure how I feel about being part of this witchhunt.

In My Humble Opinion
1

On the one hand, yes my daughter (grade 4) had a pretty unpleasant teacher this year. Not only did my daughter describe her as a depressing rain cloud during a sunny picnic, the teacher was also pretty poor at communicating when tests and projects were scheduled and due for the entire year. During regular parent/teacher interviews, I noticed that some of the complaints about lack of clarity by my daughter were indeed true. Up to now my daughter’s teachers were exemplary. But like most of us who survived school, we’ve all had encounters with less than stellar teachers. Even teachers who took a dislike to us. Not that this is the case with my daughter.

In fact, the opposite is true. I think the teacher really liked having my daughter in her class. She called her a bright and happy child. Having said that, the confusion caused by the teacher’s lack of clear communication had caused my daughter to miss studying for a couple of tests and completing a couple of assignments on time. Was it ALL the teacher’s fault? No. I have to admit that my daughter, due to some level of frustration, slacked off half way through the year and the teacher took notice and brought it to our attention very quickly. Twice. For that I give the teacher credit.

Her mom and I, through discussions with the teacher figured out that the fault lies with both the teacher and my daughter and I personally asked the teacher to ensure that a couple of key areas were addressed with respect to homework assignment routines. But we also cracked the whip a little with our daughter to make sure she didn’t use the teacher as an excuse to avoid her studying responsibilities. It was a rough few weeks with no computer games and diminished TV priviledges but my daughter began to bring home A’s again. Plus she realized that the effort she puts in is directly rewarded with good results and praise. Which she naturally enjoys. We also didn’t try to put the teacher on a pedestal and were honest with out daughter by agreeing that she is not completely at fault and that unfortunately we’d all have to work a little harder to make up for where the teacher lacks.

When all was said and done, I think it was an important lesson for our daughter on many levels.

But here is the thing…

My ex comes to me and says that one of the social workers at the school has suggested that we write a letter to the principal this week, describing how, and I quote, “Our daughter’s behaviour and performance has changed for the worse this particular year”. Now this particular woman has always sung high praises to my ex and I about our daughter. I don’t for a second think she’s being dishonest in the fact that she believes our kid has had as happy a disposition as she did last year. The same social worker also stated, and I quote again, “I’m not supposed to say this, but other parents have also complained about said teacher.”

So maybe it’s just me. Maybe it’s only my witchhunt detector alarms that are going off in my head. Maybe there is nothing sinister going on here at all. But I smell a gang up. And I hate gang ups. I hate being asked to be included or knowingly participate in one. So when my ex asked me to compose this letter without “naming names” as the social worker put it, I am reluctant as hell to do it. Not because the complaint doesn’t have some merrit. But because I know damn well the social worker went to a bunch of parents and said the same thing. Also, because in the grand scheme of things, the teacher unintentionally taught my daughter an important life lesson AND was pretty damn good about notifying us of my daughter’s lagging work.

So I’m sitting here, wondering and trying to find a compelling reason to write this letter. And I gotta tell you, I smell torches and see pitchforks gathering. I don’t like it. Not one bit.

What do you all think?

2

I think you’re right and if things shook out the way you say they did, this teacher doesn’t deserve your participation in the tar and feathering. Her grades improved and she learned about life a bit.

That is not to say that some kids in this class didn’t suffer more or even that the teacher needs either counselling or termination. But since your daughter came out all right, if I were you, I would not support such measures.

She may have been one of the few lucky ones --or, the other kids didn’t have parents who structured expectations and kept their child to them. There are too many factors to say definetively either way. So, I would err on the side of pick your battles and this isn’t one of them.
I have a similiar situation with my 2nd graders math teacher (whom I dislike-not just personalities, but she is a very poor communicator with parents). Unfortunately, she has tenure and has been teaching for 25+ years. If the kid doesn’t conform to her method of teaching, then it sucks to be that kid. We are biding our time until third grade (and getting him a summer tutor for math to undo her transmission of distaste for math and to keep skills current). But, only about 5 parents think as I do about her–so… (where is the shruggin shoulder smiley when you need it?)

3

If there is indeed a witchhunt afoot, it might be good for you to write a letter that shares your concerns but also emphasizes your appreciation of the teacher’s concern for your daughter and her open communication with you about your daughter’s performance.

4

I agree, Podkayne. Nothing messes up a good witch hunt like writing a letter in support of the huntee when the lead hunter is counting on a consensus.

It sounds like you (and the other parents) are gettting sucked into something between the teacher and social worker. It also sounds like it’s the social worker, not other parents, is leading the charge. Also, not “naming names” is just wrong. Nothing’s sleazier, IMHO, than endangering somebody’s job through annonymous complaints.

It might be worth taking all your concerns - about teacher, social worker, and the entire dynamic - to the principal.

When my kids have complained about teachers over the years I always tell them the same thing - “Bad teachers in school just prepare you for bad bosses in the workplace. Suck it up, cupcake, and figure out how to work with him/her.”

5

I agree with you QuickSilver – witchhunt for sure. This issue of the quality of teachers is a touchy one. It sounds to me like the teacher you have is not a terrible teacher, though not a great one. Your daughter will survive. I know parents would love to think their kid will get a great teacher every year, in defiance of the law of averages. Personally, I think if you get a mediocre teacher one year, you live with it. To my mind, the alternative is worse, and I’ve seen it happen – a bunch of parents get their panties in a twist over something, and begin to make waves, to the general erosion of the schools’ abilities to teach and maintain good order. As long as the school is generally doing a good job, the last thing you want to do is undermine it with a witchhunt.

6

Yeah… having written down my thoughts in a kind of organized fashion, I really don’t feel like I should be writing a letter to the principal with the kind of cowardly oblique slam that is being suggested. If I’m going to write a letter, it’s going to be a more balanced and honest telling of my experience with this particular teacher; The good and the bad.

When I have a legitimate complaint, I air it. On the whole, I think my daughter’s teacher (intentionally or not) has done more good than harm for her specifically. I don’t know enough (or anything at all, really) about other parents’ complaints and I certainly am not about to join this lynching because of the underhanded way it’s being handled.

7

I’d be tempted to complain about the social worker “I’m not supposed to say this but…” is such a HUGE breach of ethics. And when you are coordinating a witch hunt, its usually a good idea to make sure that your own eye of newt is carefully concealed.

8

That and wet faggots.

Damp kindling really sucks the momentum out of the whole thing, no matter what, or who, is at stake.

Sailboat

9

I would either do nothing, or (if you like the principal) meet with the principal in person and explain everything that’s going on, including the social worker’s request for a letter, etc.

10

Trust your instinct. You’re probably right here, and there is a lynching afoot. What are the best and worst case scenarios for the outcome of such a thing? On one hand, the other parents may be genuinely fired up to have something done, but maybe because of their own shortcomings. On the other hand, maybe it’s just a social worker with who knows what kind of bone to pick? There are all kinds of possible reasons for what is happening here, and this may be a good time to let your curiosity work for you. What are the chances of you calling a few of the other parents and feeling them out on the issue? You know, I might not call anybody up and play the drama queen gossip, but asking a little might not hurt.

11

I agree with talking to the other parents about their concerns and also with writing a complete letter to the principal - mentioning in passing what the social worker has asked you to do. Make sure you start your letter with positive things to say about the teacher and then delve into the negative so that your letter isn’t just skimmed and grouped with the complaints.

My kid had a tough time last year with her second grade teacher. But in this case it was more of a personality conflict between the two of them as opposed to bad teaching (although she isn’t the greatest teacher in the world). I thought about getting her switched to another class - but then decided it was a good opportunity for her to learn that she won’t always have teachers that she gets along with and that that doesn’t excuse poor grades or being disrespectful to the teacher. She’s got 13 more years of schooling left (including a bachelor’s) - sooner or later she’ll have to learn to deal. Might as well be now when there isn’t too much at stake.

12

That situation would get on my nerves and I wouldn’t participate. For one thing, writing a letter to complain isn’t some crazy novel idea I never would have considered on my own. If I didn’t think a situation warranted going to the principal, it doesn’t matter to me if other people think it does. Let them write letters if they’re moved to do that.

Besides that I’d be thinking, “the social worker has concerns and has seen a pattern of complaints but she can’t go to the principal directly?” Throw in the part where she’s says, “I’m not supposed to say this but…” and I just wouldn’t be inclined to find her credible enough to be advising me on something like whether or not I should write a letter I didn’t think was necessary in the first place.

13

As for talking to other parents… not sure that’s the way I choose to go. If there was some real issue of concern here that I needed to vett then yes. This seems more of a personal vendetta generated by this one faculty member against a brand new teacher that perhaps doesn’t mesh with the local entrenched culture.

Of course, I’m only speculating but that’s the sense I get.

I’ve heard other parents express frustration at the lack of consistantly clear communications from the teacher as to when a test is being given or when the assignment is due. No more than that.

The fact that the teacher isn’t as cheerful or amusing as some others, well, I chalk that up to personality and can’t really bring myself to argue that only fun and funny teachers be hired to teach our kids.

Like someone mentioned earlier in this thread… “Suck it up cupcake. Not everyone you meet in life is going to be a joy to deal with.”

I will absolutely write a letter to the pricipal to both praise my kid’s teacher as well as outline the shortcoming. In my opinion, the good stuff outweighs the bad and I’m going to ensure that’s clearly expressed as well.

As for “outing” the social worker organizing the lynching… I’m going to give it more thought. Given how she’s conducting herself, I want to make sure that her good feelings towards my daughter don’t suddenly turn into a vendetta against me for complaining to the pricipal about her conduct. Plus, my son is in grade 1 at the same school. Don’t want him bearing the brunt either.

Thanks all. It helped to talk it out.

:slight_smile:

14

Sounds like catty bullhockey to me.

I had an archaeology professor that lectured in the most monotone, soft voice ever. I would fall asleep sitting in the front row. He was also the professor of a Museum Studies lab I took, he was awesome. Most teachers have good/bad qualities, to me, it strikes me as a profession where you have to be a jack of all trades. What would you rather have? A teacher that is good to the students (you indicated no personality conflict) but a bit of a downer. Not the clearest communicator in assignments, but quick to act on potential problems?

Right now, you have a catty, vindictive, sneaky social worker who is quite obviously operating outside the bounds of acceptable behavior. If she has complaints, she, of all people, should feel comfortable expressing those to the principle. Yet, instead, she sneaks around to parents to write letters indicating “someone” is a problem? I would call the social workers superior and anonymously report her. I would make certain that who ever you speak to understands that your children and you have a good relationship with her and yet her recent behavior makes you fear repercussions for your children.

I hate sneaky bullhockey.

15

Find out if she is up for tenure. If she is, then it is possible that the Admin is gathering evidence from the parental side of things to bolster their denying her tenure and informing her that she is about to start looking for a new job.

Having said that, I detest witch hunts. My wife is a music teacher in an elementary school and also a union rep. She hears this from all sides- parents who hate teachers, teachers who hate kids, teachers who hate kids’ parents, kids who hate teachers.

It’s amazing that anything gets taught.

Cartooniverse

16

But would you have written a letter *at all * if it weren’t for it being mentioned? Is this something that gets down routinely by parents? Or are you doing it to head off the negative letters you anticipate?

17

Had it not been mentioned?.. No. Probably not. What would be worth writing about? She did some things well, other things not so much but largely she’s okay in my book?

It just gets me all pissed off when people gang up on someone in such an underhanded fashion. If it were just the parents then I’d blow it off. But this is being driven by one of the school staff and in a very underhanded and sleezy manner.

It was manipulative as well. In the social worker’s own words, “Your daughter is such a lovely and happy child but I just don’t see that beaming smile on her face like I did in the previous years. Some of the other parents are writing letters to the principal about their child’s school year. <nudge-nudge, wink-wink>…”

WTF? She’s a year older. A year wiser. A year more mature. A year more pre-occupied with all the growing up stuff that takes place in a girl’s life and the associated social pressures. She’s dealing with a recent divorce of her parents and the fact that her mom’s boyfriend is a permanent fixture in the household. (She cried for half an hour when she watched a Disney film where the parents of two twin girls were divorced and considering getting married to other people.)
:frowning:
There is all kinds of other shit going on in this child’s life that has nothing to do with the teacher.

I’m certain, whatever issues this social worker has with the teacher, she has channels through which she can address them without involving the parents. It’s not like some criminal act has taken place and she requires witnesses.

So, yeah. I’m composing a letter to help deflate this little jack booted attempt at discrediting a teacher who, in my opinion, deserves a fair chance.

18

These were my thoughts exactly. the Social worker is starting a gang up on the teacher? WTF? I’d stay far away from this one, after I spoken up about the social worker, that is. If she’s “not supposed to say this” but is, what ELSE is she blabbing about?

19

I think that if you write a letter, you will inflate, rather than deflate this treacherous attempt. That’s just the way that life works. If you want to help all concerned, disengage. You already have resolution with your child and the teacher. Anything else will go into areas with which you are unfamiliar and over which you have no control.
hh

20

If you really don’t feel it, don’t write it. It really isn’t any more complicated than that. And the request for you not to use names is really gutless, I have to say. If you do write it, be sure to name the names. At least don’t give them any anonymity in their campaign. If their cause is righteous, they should have no fear of being known.