Are you ever going to stop pretending that anyone said that men are berserk cavemen (besides the men themselves, of course) or made any comparison to rapists? Or making bad analogies? Yeah, talking about a shirt is comparable to talking about a blowjob. Riiiiight. More hyperbole to muddy the rhetorical waters.
As I said earlier, as a woman, I might not be thinking of my boobs sexually, even if I use the word boobs, even if I wear a shirt that makes them look better than they are, because I live with them every day and I don’t think of them that way all the time. Is it possible that Tracy forgot herself and just used a really dumb phrase, not realizing that people would seize on it and make a big deal? Wearing the shirt might be a choice to be more sexually attractive; typing the words on the SDMB was NOT meant to start a sexual dialogue: big difference.
I’m not familiar with her “years of sneering” at people, but really, why should she change a username she likes just because people mistake it for a porn star? It’s ridiculous to judge her because YOU think she should have changed her username, and to say that she didn’t change it because she consciously decided to use it as a way to trap people. I correct people who call me Ruby instead of Rubystreak, because there’s another poster named Ruby. Am I keeping that username so I can correct people when they call me Ruby? No, I just don’t feel like changing it. It’s easier to just correct people when they get it wrong. To then further extrapolate THAT assumption to mean that she MUST be a troll requires yet another leap, though it seems that you believe that anyone you don’t like must be a troll, so your Troll Radar is likely pretty off.
Your posts about Tracy are rife with almost ESP-like claims of knowing her (and my, and others’ ) motivations and inner thoughts. You don’t. It’s arrogant to keep claiming you do. I doubt she wanted to end her tenure here, esp. on such a negative note. Call her naive, call her choices of words at various times foolish, call her oversensitive, and no one will disagree with you. Beyond that, you’re just making shit up to justify your outrage. Funny that you call your opponents offenderati when the shoe fits you just fine.
Why, yes, I did enjoy the final episode of Battlestar Galactica and I thought it did redeem much of the lackluster final few episodes. And, why yes, now that you mention it, I do prefer jarslberg to ordinary swiss cheese.
Here’s a little bit different perspective. Let me start by admitting I haven’t read this entire thread; it’s just too common and therefore tedious.
I find that I am grateful when some guy I’ve met lets me know right away what kind of a person he is. If he seizes on something I’ve said and makes a crude sexual remark along the lines of “let me see your tits” I tell him clearly but politely that that kind of comment makes me feel bad. If he persists, or begins the long process of trying to explain to me why I somehow caused his behavior, why he has the right to say whatever he wants to me, and what is flawed in my personality that causes me to feel bad, I know right away who he is. He is someone who is focused on his own need to say sexual things and desire to either a)see me naked or b), make me uncomfortable. Given the outcome of his type of behavior, I suspect b is more along the lines of what he’s looking for. We tend to use behavior that produces what we really want rather than what we claim to desire.
Anyway, “let me see your tits” followed by what boils down to “I don’t give a shit about your comfort or desires, only my own” lets me know that this is a person to avoid. I have no interest in even talking to such a self-centered, self-justifying twit; life is too short. My parting thought is, ‘thanks, bubba, for showing me what you’re made of so I can make other plans’.
I just have to add, incidentally, that this kind of mindset in a guy guarantees that he’ll be a really crappy lover.
[QUOTE=Rubystreak;10962527Please, point out where I said anyone was out of control. I already said this, but I’ll say it one more time: dba Fred said that men could not be expected to control what they said when women mention boobs. (bolding mine) I think that’s ridiculous. So, once more with feeling: it’s not me saying that men are out of control. It’s a man saying it. Sic 'em.[/QUOTE]
Rubystreak, Whoa!!! Is the below post of mine the one that you somehow get me saying “men could not be expected to control what they said when women mention boobs” from?
Besides literally not using those words, consider the context:
I was replying to Lamia’s quote that men don’t get the same kind of drooling replies as women do. As a man I was humorously saying I want to be treated that way (I want to be drooled over and objectified by women!) and that I don’t care about the reasons I’m not (I don’t care about evolution and culture and society and reality).
I won’t accuse you of purposely misrepresenting what I said but it does take logical leaps of Olympian scale to get “men could not be expected to control what they said when women mention boobs” from my above post.
I demand you post the quote where I said anything remotely similar to “men could not be expected to control what they said when women mention boobs” Not what you though I said, Not what you thought I was thinking, Not what you thought I meant,
What dba Fred actually said.
or, as you said:
p.s. my eyes are glazing over from cutting & pasting and trying to format multi-quotes
Please, please do not show me your tits. I respect your tits and their right to privacy. It is not within my mindset to insist on seeing them, clearly in contrast with your wishes.
Thanks for your kindness. I will return kindness by not showing you my tits, which are old and used-up from 2 1/2 years of breastfeeding, and tend to hang there like two old empty tube socks. Plus, it’s a lot of trouble to roll 'em back up and stuff back in my cross yr heart.
What do you mean by this? What exactly is it that is in defiance of “evolution and culture and society and reality”?
You can play the disingenuous card all you want. Your argument is that men act the way you and others did towards Tracy because of the dictates of evolution and culture and society and reality, and women don’t because of same. No, sorry, nature, evolution, culture and reality aren’t making you be a needling jerk. That’s strictly on you.
For those interested in reading an example of breasts mentioned in a CLEARLY non-sexual context, please see above. Suse you might think that referencing the enhanced attractiveness of breasts is non-sexual, and for you it might be, but let me be the next in a long line of posters to disabuse you of that notion. “Makes my boobs look amazing” when declared to a mixed audience of strangers will almost always (like 99.999999% of the time) be perceived as sexual. To be candid, I am a little suprised that this would be lost on anyone. Once again, this isn’t an instance of Tracy Lord and the gals talking about the appearance of her bits while gazing at a dressing room mirror.
What about just possessing amazing-looking boobs in mixed company? Because honestly, that is the next step here – if someone takes the time to wear an outfit that happens to flatter her shape, then isn’t that just as forward as drawing attention to her body through language (if not more)?
It’s funny how the old standby of evolution’s come up here – with the constant claims of men being ‘visual creatures’ and women buying Harlequins by the truckload, shouldn’t it be the women who are unable to restrain their horny comments on a message board? They are verbal creatures.
Missed the edit window:
Someone either wears something that happens to flatter, or someone takes the time to wear something that flatters. The two scenarious are exclusive of one another.
If you see her walking down the street or meet her out somewhere, how would you know which scenario took place while she was getting dressed that day? Some breasts are just hard to hide, and the clothes that look nice on a woman with large breasts tends to draw attention to them, because otherwise, you just look barrel chested or lumpen.
Define “go out of your way.” If you have DD or DDD cups, you have to go out of your way NOT to draw attention to them. Even if you do, they’re still rather manifest at all times. Does that mean you can flirt with me at will?
Believe me, I know (second-hand) of which you speak. My wife had a breast reduction at age 26 (of perfectly symmetrical but very large for her frame breasts) for, inter alia, this reason. Nonetheless, there is a whole middle between “accentuate” and “barely-hold-in-is that-areola.” Suffice it to say, declaring in a thread about stain removal that an article of clothing makes your “boobs look amazing” does not equate to a chesty woman wearing clothing that does not make her look “barrel chested or lumpen” and comes much closer to the “I think I see nipple” scenario.
I need a different definition…define “flirt”. Because if I’m attempting to flirt with someone, and he or she says, “that’s making me uncomfortable, please stop” then if I persist I can’t fool myself into thinking I’m still trying to “flirt”. Isn’t flirting supposed to be a way to connect with someone? Isn’t it supposed to be a two way street? In other words, isn’t it supposed to be, you know, fun?
What am I missing here?
ETA - 31 posts in six and a half years here, and I have to get caught up in this subject? WTF.
Going out of one’s way: Making a conscious choice. If you are born with brown hair, you didn’t go out of your way to make it brown. But if you were born with blonde hair and you dye it brown, you did. Similarly with the DD cups - if you’re born with them, feel free to complain all you want about the extra attention men give you. You probably won’t get a sympathetic ear from those less well-endowed, but you’ll still have a valid point. However, if you go and get implants and make your B’s in to DD’s, then start complaining about all the men who now flirt with you, well, it was you who created that situation, now wasn’t it?
I’m sure you’re implying something other than what I’m thinking with this question, but generally the answer is “yes, until you give indication you don’t want to talk to me or otherwise want me to stop”.
