When it absolutely, positively has to be there overnight my ASS!

The BBQ Pit
#1

What happened to corporate responsibility? I use FedEx several times a week for business purposes. I send documents with deadlines, and I’m cheap enough that I only pay for overnight shipping when it 'absolutely, positively has to be there overnight." But, of course, being the true paranoid that I am, I also always request a confirmation of delivery email.

So Tuesday I send a package off. It’s a heavier than usual package, but because of the fact that I have to do these documents in WordPerfect and Microsoft products HATE WordPerfect so my WordPerfect crashes every time I turn around, I can’t cheap out and send it second day. Nope, have to pay the extra for overnight.

Wednesday comes and goes…and mid-evening I realize, hey, no confirming email! So I look online to track the package – and it says that when they tried to deliver the package, the business was closed. Well, of COURSE it was, you fucking idiots, it was AFTER BUSINESS HOURS!

So I call FedEx today. Package STILL not delivered by 11 a.m. It seems reasonable to me that if I PAY FOR OVERNIGHT DELIVERY AND THEY DON’T DELIVER OVERNIGHT, I SHOULDN’T HAVE TO PAY FOR OVERNIGHT DELIVERY.

Wrong, oh express-breath. It’s NOT THEIR FAULT! It’s NEVER THEIR FAULT! The brain-dead twerp on the phone goes researching on their computer system – on screens that I of course am unable to see in any way, shape, or form filled with excuses and other assorted lame-assed explanations for their UTTER FAILURE TO ACCEPT CORPORATE RESPONSIBILITY – and assures me that they have good and sufficient reasons for failing to live up to their end of the contract they’ve made with me, which was that I paid them to deliver overnight so stupidly expected they WOULD deliver overnight, and therefore I STILL have to pay for overnight delivery even though it takes the fucking package 48 hours to get there!!

This is at least the third time this year that FedEx has failed to deliver a package on time and assured me that – everyone together, now – IT’S NOT THEIR FAULT! What the fuck happened to corporations accepting responsibility for their screwups??? I mean, you expect that from the Postal Orifice – only time I tried to send a package overnight with them, first words out of the clerk’s mouth were, “We don’t guarantee overnight delivery on this overnight delivery package!” – but FedEx BUILT its business on GETTING THE PACKAGES THERE. Now all of a sudden they’re not doing it, but they expect me to pay full price anyway for half-assed service???

#2

Just as a FYI, the only time you should be hearing that from the Post Office is if you bring the package in late in the afternoon. Sorry about the rest of the rant though, sounds like they’re really screwing up. :frowning:

#3

Actually, that was on a Sunday morning from the post office. So much for weekend service. I was desperate so I paid their usurious rates and gave it a shot…and I think the package finally arrived on Wednesday. So much for THAT attempt!

#4

Their site says they have a money back guarantee, may want to peruse that.

#5

Ah, but only if they accept that it’s their fault! This time they blamed it on weather delays, therefore getting my package to its destination city too late to get on a truck, and therefore it WASN’T THEIR FAULT! See, they can weasel out of ANYTHING!

#6

Ok, I have a few questions here:

  1. Just WHERE were you mailing your ass to?
  2. WHY did you feel the need to mail your ass anywhere?
  3. Hi Opal!
    4.Do you gently wrap your hiney in bubblewrap (which, by the way, also keeps you entertained for HOURS), or, do you just shove those peanuts up your butt, and hope for the best?

(Enquiring minds want to know:D )

#7

Ya know, I had a very similar problem with FedEx.

Didn’t deliver a package. Said there was no address. Bill my grant $160 for overnight to Argentina. Package didn’t arrive for 10 days.

I ranted. I raved. I got really, really bitchy. I screamed in a supervisors ear. I got a cheque in the mail for $160 and a profuse letter of apology.

I suggest you phone back and rant a little louder. It works.

#8

as Dr. Pepper comes spraying out of my nose directly onto my keyboard
bwahahahahaha!

Ask former Enron employees that question…

#9

Thanks, alice. I just might try that. I checked out FedEx’s list of reasons why they’re not responsible for late delivery under their “terms and conditions” section on their website, however, and the list ran from A to Z and back to AC, and was considerably longer and more detailed than their promise TO get the packages there on time. But what the heck, screaming at a supervisor is what they’re there for, right? :smiley:

#10

Butrscotch,
I’d love to give you some good advice here, but as someone who ships packages quite often, I’ve had UPS, Fed Ex, USPS, and Airborne lose packages inexplicably. Of course, after it’s much too late to do any good, they’re usually found in Kansas and routed back on their way.

In fact, I once had a UPS overnight going from Seattle to San Diego that was tracked to Kentucky before it disappeared completely. Kentucky?!? Must be a shortcut I don’t know about.

#11

Ah, FedEx! Where to start?

You have completely nailed it on the head with your “failure to accept responsibility” rant.

We used to ship with “FuckedUp” exclusively. We, without fail, paid extra for insurance. They, without fail, would damage/loose/steal a certain percentage of merchandise. We expect this. What we don’t expect, is complete and total denial of responsibility for any claim ever made.

Thier standard parrot is, “You didn’t ship anything with us, and if you did, we didn’t lose it. If it was lost, it wasn’t damaged. If it was damaged, we didn’t do it. If we did damage it, it wasn’t insured. If it was insured, the actual value is less than you claim. If you have proof of actual value, we won’t pay it. Thank you for using FuckedUp!”

Our reply: "We did ship with you. You billed us. Here is the tracking number and proof of extra insurance for the value of the item. Here is proof of the value of the item. Here are photos of the item before you picked it up and photos of the item as you delivered it. Now, PAY UP, GODDAMMIT!!

3 months later, the standard check for $100 shows up, denying any further responsibiltiy. Un-fucking believable! Just admit you fucked up and pay the claim! That’s what you charge extra for!

Fagjunk Theology: Not just for sodomite propagandists anymore.