Often it’s imagining something like this sweet guy:
I would so like to see more affidavits and motions like this. Would make them quite entertaining.
Further down:
Power to the People! I’d sure like to be a fly on the courtoom wall during that trial.
We got a pro se petition once written partially in crayon. For real. And not from a jail cell either - just a regular ordinary citizen, absolutely in command of his faculties, who thought it might please the court to be addressed in crayon. Ok, even imagining for a moment he has no access to a computer (which is impossible, because there are computers people can use at the public law library), would it kill him to pick up a pen?
we think that their arguments are…
**Wrong bitches. **[sic]
I’ve recenlty receieved a document from a self-rep who sealed it with his fingerprint.
In blood. :eek:
Looked sort of like the smear you get when you squoosh a mosquito after it’s been on your arm for a while.
(I hope it was his own, but you never know…)
If I ever have occasion to file pleadings again, I will most certainly be adding a “You cock suckers are now on notice” at the end of each one (in my mind).
There was a fruitloop in downtown Raleigh who was a vexatious litigant. I think he was homeless, and you’d often see him carrying his backpack hither and yon, doing “legal research” at the Supreme Court library or filing papers at the courthouses. I wouldn’t be surprised if his stuff read like this.
"So long as Mr. Demos confined his submissions to a leisurely pace of two or so per week, his contributions to prisoner-related judicature were tolerable, and indeed were welcomed by the staff as invigorating respites from an otherwise workaday schedule. Now, however, the stride has quickened. Unlike vitamins and apples, the effect of digesting Demos’ pleadings on a schedule of one-a-day, every-day, is somewhat less than salubrious. […]
Among the intriguing legal problems posited in the past are the following, culled from a memorandum entered April 29, 1981:[2]
—The U.S. Nuclear Regulatory Commission is endangering the lives of every citizen in the state of Washington because of the nuclear energy plants at Hanford, Washington.
—As a member of the Chocktaw Indian Tribe, Mr. Demos is entitled to $15 million dollars from the government as reimbursement for treaties that were broken in the 1800’s.
—The Director of State Corrections unlawfully discriminated against Mr. Demos on the basis of sex by not honoring his request to be transferred to Purdy Correctional Center, an all-women institution.
—The United States Department of Treasury has violated Mr. Demos’ civil rights by discontinuing the practice of backing treasury notes by silver." - Demos v. Kincheloe, 563 F. Supp. 30 - Dist. Court, ED Washington 1982
I live in fear of being appointed amicus to one of these people.
I got about halfway through the pleading. Can’t decide whether he should get cited for contempt, or referred to law enforcement for threatening the Court with “civil unrest”. Possibly both.
Being the devilish sort that I am, I’d pay good money to watch him argue his petition in front of any of my local judges. I expect it would be a very short hearing before he was handcuffed and taken away.
Well, at least now the cock suckers are on notice. They can’t say they weren’t warned.
What’s that in Blackstone Latin?
Of course, actually being a lawyer doesn’t mean you can’t file crazy pleadings. The actual pleading begins on page 4. As of page 5, all attempts to appear sane have been abandoned. (Of course, Thompson (now disbarred) was filing on his own behalf, so it really still fits the OP.)
Well, the entire state may be a stretch, but folks living nearby the Hanford Site were indeed harmed by several releases of radioactive gases over the years.
“Thompson” is one of the most common family names in the US and I still knew exactly who you were talking about. Oh, Jack brought the crazy all right.
[quote=“Unauthorized_Cinnamon, post:7, topic:558691”]
If I ever have occasion to file pleadings again, I will most certainly be adding a “You cock suckers are now on notice” at the end of each one (in my mind).
[\quote]
Just put it in Latin,and it will be legendary
he uses the present participle though
I really want to know more about this guy. Apparently some bitches on a California teachers credential commission have blocked him from receiving his teaching credential. How can this be? Surely that very court filing amply demonstrates his ability to teach small children, he probably refers to them as “my little bitches”, in the classroom.
Oh, my friends, I feel a storm a comin’.
And at the very end, he signed an oath that everything was true and correct. The court HAS TO accept that!
I found his petition confusing, so I searched to see if there was some additional background information. I found it here, for those who are interested.
Incidentally, from the link, it appears that the Court of Appeal dismissed the petition. That’s not so surprising; what is surprising is that the Court did not mention the nature of the petition at all.
Overall, a good attempt at the crazy, but would be markedly improved by citing the Geneva and/or Hague Conventions, which seems to be standard operating procedure for self represented litigants I’ve come across.