When I was a newspapr reporter and editor, people would immediately joke, “Well, don’t quote me!” For 25 years I resisted the urge to respond, “Why would I?”
Now I work for a radio station, and people to whom I am introduced immediately make suggestions about the kind of music we should play. I’m not even the program director.
I also teach English composition part-time at the local junior college. When people learn that, they immediately opine that they hated English in high school. It embarrasses my wife when I reply, “Well, you probably weren’t very good at it.”
When I tell people I’m a Mechanical Engineer they always want me to fix something. My favorite was a floppy drive into which a kid had inserted his peanut butter toast.
When I tell people I teach Mechanical Engineering a surprising number have asked if I had to go to school in order to do that. Ummmmm, no I was just in the supermarket one day and heard that the U was hiring and applied for the job. :dubious:
When I tell people I’m a Tribologist…you really don’t want to know. (We can be abrasive and overbearing, but prefer to be thought of as slicker than snot)
Aye. I get the same thing, and I’m from New Brunswick. And like Emeria, often get the “oh, I’ve been to Nova Scotia/Cape Breton/PEI” speeches. That’s nice. It is. But I have little idea about the places they’ve been or seen. We may as well be having this conversation:
“Where are you from?”
“I’m from Canada.”
“Oh, cool! I’ve been to Cambodia twice this year!”
“…neat.”
As for me:
When people hear I am bisexual, they immediately believe I must be a swinger, or that there are three or more people involved in my marriage, or that I’m not actually married (or in an open marriage - nothing wrong with that one, and easily forgivable for someone thinking it, though odd). Or that I’m lying to myself because I married a man.
I don’t drop the “I’m bi” bomb on people willy nilly, to be certain. Only if it’s relevant to the conversation, which to be honest, it rarely is. Or if someone who knows me well drops it into a conversation, while not necessarily appropriate (who cares?), is not that big a deal, as long as the conversation isn’t with my mother. The number one response goes like this:
When people find out that SWMBO and I have Black Belts in the martial art of Taekwondo, they promptly say something stupid like, “Oh, don’t hurt me!”, or “I better not get you mad, you’ll kick my ass!”.
When people here I’m a math major, the immediately thinking I’m a fucking human calculator.
No, I don’t know how many teaspoons are in a gallon, less 20% +3 cups with a 14% off coupon and an additional 34% off at the register. You want the area under a curve, I’m your guy, but anything else, gimme a calculator.
Let me make it clear, I can do the math in my head, but I’m not the calculator that people seem to think I am. And even so, I took my last math class, what 6 years ago. I will give the other people credit though. Alot of non-math people don’t realize that there’s more to math then just arithmetic. I think the are under the impression that even in my final year of college I was just doing the 400 level version of what they did in high school algebra. Many people are surprised to find out that in my last two years of college I hardly used a calculator. Not becuase I could do it all in my head, but because it’s just not stuff you use a calculator for.
If I tell people I’m an artist they ask to see my paintings… um, no, I’m not a painter (well, I paint houses for money, but I didn’t go to art school for that, it’s just a way to pay the bills, like doing oil changes on cars or working at McDonald’s). There are other forms of art than colorful mud on canvas.
If I tell people I’m a pilot they assume I rich. I’m not (especially not after paying for airplane rental). They also tend to assume I fly for a living, which I do not. (Actually, since I’m unemployed at the moment I’m not flying at all)
On the flip side, one of the engineers I used to work with who focused on rocket testing had a shirt that said, “Yes, actually, I am a rocket scientist!”
Oh, you beat me to it! If people were smart, they’d ask if I was cunning, and we’d all have a hearty laugh.
If I tell people I majored in English, they immediately wonder why I’m not a teacher. At least it’s better than when I waited tables at one point whilst in college. When I said I went to school, many patrons asked which high school I attended. This is a college town, people! I look vaguely like an adult! What a bizarre assumption.
“I’m a computer programmer.”
“Oh! I have this problem with my computer…”
“I work on property tax software.”
“Oooh, must be nice to get into those IRS computers. I bet you don’t pay them a dime!”
Yes, exactly. I’ve managed to avoid paying property taxes to the IRS for years. MUAHAHAHAHAHA!
Is that really such a bad reaction on their part? I ask because that’s MY reaction. I honestly do not think I have the level of organization and consistency and patience required to homeschool my kids.
