I work for a large chemical company,
When asked, I’ll say either “I’m a chemist” or “I’m an engineer for a chemical company”
95% of the time - idiots will reply, “Do you blow stuff up?” or “Do you make explosives?”
The other 5% of the time the idiots will ask if I can make good drugs.
What do people say when you tell them what you do?
I don’t experience a problem with the majority of people, but I have run into a few fools.
My field is auto repair (mechanical). One fellow I know never - I really do mean never - talks to me about anything besides cars. It gets tedious quickly.
One person I’d just met seemed interested in dealing with me. I was asked “Are you honest?” Now, this is a legitimate concern, but a stupid question. What dishonest person is going to say anything but “Yes?” I was so taken aback by the idiocy of the question (not to mention the implicit insult) that I just said “No.” I was being a smart-aleck, but I don’t know if that was realized or not, as the topic of discussion immediately changed.
“You’re *too young * to be retired! What do you really do?”
You think I’m too young? Then offer me a damn job.
“What’s this?” As they hold out their arm, or lift their shirt, or stick their nose in my face. I work in a dermatologist’s office.
I wouldn’t say it’s a stupid question, perfectly natural, but IANAD.
I’m a computer science student. People, of course, ask me computer questions.
Yes, I probably know the answer, but I’m not really interested in discussing your corrupted Excel installation.
I’m in Intelligence. The responses come in two versions.
“Military Intelligence is an oxymoron” Good lord, people. It’s not funny or original. Give it up.
OR:
“What’s that?” “I analyze” “What?” “Intelligence” “Like what?” “What people give me” “Yeah, but like what?” “Well, I normally try to decipher stuff about people…like if they’re being intentionally vague about sensitive information like what they do for a living. You wouldn’t be any good at it.”
I remember back in the mid 80’s, when I told one of my infrequent relatives that I was a computer programmer, she said “So you tell the computer what to do?”. Why yes. But she meant talk to it, like in some damned crappy movie.
I’ve spent the last 3.5 years working Security. People tend to ask me how many fights I’ve gotten into. The answer is “Zero”. Good security people do not instigate fights or allow incidents to get to that point.
When I worked armored, the less intelligent would ask me how easy it would be for me to steal money. The answer is: If it was easy, these kinds of companies would not stay in business. Would I try to steal money if I thought I could get away with it? No, it’s not worth 10+ years in prison. I value my freedom and I’m an honest man.
That kind of dishonest “steal it if you can” thinking bugs the living shit out of me and I won’t have anything to do with people who walk that line in life.
(The better question was "What is the most money you’ve dealt with at one time. The answer to that is “$3.5 million cash on more occasions than I can count; $110 million in checks on one occasion.” How much money have I seen at one time? Truckloads. I’ve been in the Federal Reserve Bank many times, as well as regular visits to the cash vaults of major national banks.)
Let me guess–you could tell me, but then you’d have to kill me?
If you really want to know what I do, Wiki has much of the general info.
I work in accounting - no one ever asks me anything about it or makes any comments at all. It’s quite the conversation killer. 
My other career, landscape design, always gets the same comment; “You need to come do my yard!” Yeah, I’d love to, seriously. No one ever actually takes me up on it, though. 
Tell my wife…please!
D&R
I’m a technical writer in IT.
“Oh.” blank
“I write documentation for developers.”
“Oh…”
pause “I tell computer programmers how to use their software to build other software.”
“Oh!”
Well, not so much what I do, because I just wait tables, but when I tell people what my degree is in that’s when things get annoying.
I hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, HATE, HATE, HATE! talking about my degree/education to (most) people, because apparently no on on this fucking planet knows what a biomedical engineer does. A typical dialog goes thusly:
Them: So, what’s your degree in?
Me: Biomedical engineering.
Them: :eek: Whoa! Mr.Einstein over here! (Einstein was a physicist you numbnuts, a closer analogy would be Dr.Jarvik…but even less people know who the fuck he is than know what a biomed engineer is, so whatever…)
Them: So…what’s bi-O-med-I-cal engineering? 
Me: It’s designing, building, testing, and working with medical equipment. (Of course, even this is just a small branch of biomedical engineering, but it’s the area I want to get into, so there’s no need for me to get into things like tissue engineering, stem cells, artificial organs, nanotech, etc…)
Them: … …like what? (like what? What do you mean ‘like what’? You don’t know what ANY medical equipment could possibly be?)
Me: You know, pacemakers, prosthetics, surgical equipment, and so forth.
Them:… …So what will you do?
Me: I’d like to get into orthopedic implants and prosthetics. I focused on biomechanics.
Them: Well, you must be pretty smart, then!
I just hate doing it, and it happens 2-3 times a night at my job. People act all impressed, but it’s really nothing special!
I’m a medical technologist.
Most-often-heard response: “what’s that?”
Or they’ll assume I mean I’m a radiology tech, or they think I make medical equipment.
When I tell people I work in the securities industry in Taiwan, they seem to believe that I’m a mall cop in Thailand.
“Ooooo, I’d better watch my grammar!”
(I’m an English teacher).
I’m an Interpreter for American Sign Language.
People ask me all the time if i know braille. Um No. I work with people who cannot hear, not with people who cannot see. There IS a difference!!
People also will make some random hand movements and ask me what they said. Um…you didn’t say anything, you just looked really stupid.
I also work as a 911 operator and police dispatcher. When i tell people this they think i’m a cop. No, i just talk to cops. No i’m not going to arrest you, but they might. And no, i cannot look you up and see if you have any warrants. If you are worried about that, you should call them yourself. :smack:
I’m a Medi-Cal (known as Medicaid in other states) eligibility worker. I’ve had several young, able-bodied people ask me if I can get them Medi-Cal, to which I respond, “OK, are you pregnant? 'Cause you’re clearly under 65, and as far as you can tell, you’re not disabled. And, no, migraines and high cholesterol don’t count as a disability.” Before that, when I used to be a food stamp worker, I had several friends and relatives say, “Wow, you do Food Stamps? Can you get me some?” as though I had access to the mythical warehouse where they keep all the welfare checks, books of food stamps and Medi-Cal cards. :rolleyes:
I’m like Bouv, no one has any trouble understanding my job (part timer in a college dining hall) it’s the degree I’m earning that people can’t get over.
Aerospace engineering. People can’t seem to get over how smart I must be to have a major like that. I guess that’s because most people tend to equate aerospace engineering with that standard difficulty exemplar: rocket science. Really, I’m not that smart. I just know better than most how various airplane systems work.
The single response that comes up the most is “So are you planning to work for NASA?”
I’m not sure why, but people tend to think that NASA’s the only place to go for an aerospace engineer. Nevermind the all the big names like Boeing and Northrop Grumman or that there are lots of smaller companies that still do aerospace work or the fact that there are dozens of other industries use moving or flowing fluids, etc.) Only a tiny fraction of aerospace engineers end up and NASA and no, I’m not going to be one of them.
Blood donor attendant: “Can you tell what blood group I have?” Well, not by looking at it, no.
Bartender: “Have you ever had to throw anyone out of the bar?” Of course not, drunks are known for their orderly behaviour and courtesy.
IT Staffer: “Oh, you know about computers?” No, I know about pot plants.
Not my job, but I pilot friend told me that the daftest question he gets asked is “Are you scared of crashing?” Of course he is, his job is to prevent that.