I’ve had a daycare center for eight years now. When asked what I do, some people have responded with “Oh, you’re a glorified babysitter?”
I’m also a full time pre-radiographic student. I’m surprised by how many times I get a response of “So, like, you’ll be working with radios?” I really hope the majority of them weren’t serious.
Many times people will go on to ask what courses I’m taking this semester, which are U. S. History I, Art History I and Anatomy & Physiology II. They latch on to the last one and with a leer say, “I could help with anatomy.” Yeah, I haven’t heard that one a hundred times. You are so original. Go pat yourself on the back now.
These days, it’s easy. I can just say “I’m a clerk with County Government.” Nobody wants to hear about that.
For the OP, man, did that get tiresome. Back in school, I decided to tell people I was an English Lit major instead of fielding all the “Can you make (fill-in-the-blank, often meth or TNG)?” questions.
I also hear this one a lot (I’m an engineer in the intelligence community). My standard response is, “Or if you prefer, I could give you a hint, and then kick your ass”.
A common reaction to hearing I’m an engineer is, “Can you fix my computer?” I wish I had an equally good response to this one.
I’m an organizational consultant. If people ask for more detail, I explain that when a company wants to change its management system and use this program I’m an expert in, they call me to teach them how to use it. (SAP, for those who suffer it)
“Oh, you’re one of those people who get called in to fire people!”
“Ah, so you work in a school, then?”
The killer one was my SiL worrying about my lack of work stability and equating it with low income… since she’s also been known to tell me all she wants from me is my money, I didn’t bother to correct her.
Or you tell people you’re a 911 dispatcher and they say, “So you, like, answer phones?” Hell, no, when it starts ringing I grab a big stick and hit it until it stops.
(There’s a chicken in the hallway at my new job. Seriously.)
I don’t get asked many truly stupid questions - Medicare and Medicaid aren’t exactly easy to understand. When I tell people what I do, people’s eyes usually glaze over. (For what it’s worth, I’m a product manager for government health plans at my company, working primarily in Medicare Part D.)
Ah, see I have almost the opposite problem: “I’m a medicinal herbalist.” “OH!” nudgenudgewinkwink, “Sure! I’m into airquotesMedicinal Herbs, too!” Fucko off.
Or when I was a massage therapist. [Insert prostitution joke here.]
I can’t wait 'till I’m a nurse. At least everyone knows what a nurse does.
The majority of the stupid things I’d heard were all when I was working in the Navy’s nuc power program.
“Aren’t you afraid of the reactor?” No. The steam plant was what scared me. While I was in, no one was killed in a nuclear accident. 10 guys got parboiled on the Iwo Jima, though.
I have a serious headache and this made me laugh out loud. Thank you.
I don’t get too many questions now since I’m mostly retired but when I had a real job, I designed and manufactured Piezoelectric Quartz Crystal Units; in the electronics industry, these components are simply called “crystals.” I automatically used the word “crystals” and I would immediately be asked if I made sugar, there being a "Dixie Crystal Sugar Company. Or, I would be asked if I bottled water, there being a “Crystal Water” company, or at least there used to be. And I got my share of questions about the New Age crystal healing garbage.
