I see nothing wrong with getting him a phone if you’re so inclined, and imposing whatever rules you feel are appropriate.
My daughter got her first phone when she was 13 or 14. I’m a single working parent, and she’d reached an age where she was frequently unsupervised, so I wanted her to have it. It was a cheapie with no texting, and I made it very clear to her that it was for MY convenience. If she ran up the bill, or didn’t pick up when I called, it was going away. She could have one for HER convenience when she was able to pay for it.
As she demonstrated responsible use, she got more privileges, cooler phones, etc. That’s how this works.
I forget who posted it, but a few years ago (?) someone here on the boards was telling the story about how his daughter was moaning, “All of my friends have cell phones! What happens in an emergency if I really need to reach you?!!!”
He looked at his daughter and said, “Ask to borrow one of theirs.”
Made me laugh, but doubt his daughter found it as funny.
My best friend’s daughter got her first phone when she was five. It was given to her by her grandmother who told her it was to call her any time she wanted. I think it was one of those Cricket type phones, just a cheapie. Sweet gesture I think, but I wouldn’t get one for my daughter at five. My oldest didn’t get one until she had a job at 18. Somehow she survived. Actually she never even asked for one.
*The friend’s daughter is seven now and has requested one of those really nice phones for her upcoming eighth birthday. No doubt grandma will get her exactly the one she loves.
It’s a status symbol, and a stupid one that parents have enabled with their kids. Some kids might need them, in a latchkey type of situation; it sounds like yours does not.
If you get him one be aware that it’s likely a guilt thing. Divorced/separated parents seem to overcompensate by giving their kids too much stuff.
Meanwhile, its just sitting in the drawer collecting dust, being even less useful than it would be if a kid had it, and by the time you actually get around to digging it out and decide your kid is worthy of your old phone, a new cheap pay as you go phone will actually be better than said blackberry.
But count me in as one who doesn’t understand the big deal. Even if the kids will treat it as just a toy, so what? Its hardly the most expensive toy they will ever receive. You can get a cheapo cell phone for $25, and a prepaid plan for 10 cents a minute.
Of course a cell phone is a luxury. And something most of us didn’t have when growing up. My dad made the same arguments about TVs, and said I couldn’t have my own in my room, but he had no issue with gifts that were more expensive than a cheapo 13 inch set would have been.
I bet my grandfather was chastised as a kid for wanting an electric light in his room that was connected to the wind powered battery banks in the basement of his old farmhouse. Great grandpa, in the long tradition of parents everywhere, no doubt told my grandfather that he didn’t need an electric light in his room, and that he didn’t have an electric light when HE was a kid, so make do with a candle.
I wonder what great great grandpa bitched about? Probably was stunned that his kid wanted his own private book.
But that’s because we live in Japan where six year olds walk to school, after school clubs and classes and go to play with their friends by themselves. I wanted him to be traceable and his phone has GPS on it. He is not allowed to take it to school but he takes it when he goes to his pool and piano lessons while I’m working, and we have him take it when we go out as a family to the big city. It has helped us get back together in big shops more than once. (Yes, he should stick with us but life happens…)
I am not sure what to advice in this case though. My brother’s ex-wife gave their seven year old daughter a cellphone and the bloody thing rules our lives. The kid cannot move without it in case Mummy rings. And god help us all if it rings and the kid doesn’t pick up RIGHT AWAY. It is just one more tool for her to keep on jerking my brother’s chain. So an ex might not be thrilled if you gave one to your son… It would have to be in full agreement between the both of you, I think.
I don’t know. When he can buy it himself, I’d say. I didn’t get my first til I turned 20 (three years ago). But I try to resist the dependence we all have on them. We somehow survived before they existed…
I don’t care for cell phones but at my gym they teach Tae Kwon Do to kids 4 and up and they all seem to have cell phones. After the class, all the kids grab their gear pull out their phones and, I guess call their mum.
On the other hand just thinking about it, mom should know the time when to pick up the kid so I wonder who they’re calling?
Can’t you get him a limited cell phone. One that is pretty indestructable but only allows you to call 9-11 and any a few other numbers the parent programs in?
My kids all got cell phones when we moved to Israel; there’s much more freedom here than in the states, so we wanted to be able to be in touch with them when we needed. (Their ages were 15, 14, and 12.) Otherwise, they would have each gotten a phone when they entered high school. We could imagine a reason why they would need a cell phone before then.
Well, I went to Walmart last night to do research on pre-paid cell phones. Virgin appears to be the only phone that has roll-over minutes (the other plans are monthly, the minutes expire at the end of the month). I can buy a cheap no-frills phone for $9.00 (yes, $9.00) or a fancier one for $49.00, and then buy 200 minutes for $20. He could make calls and text (if he could spell), and that’s it.
It still seems ridiculous to me for a first-grader to have a cell phone. But, I can “indulge” my son and make him happy for $29.00. Cheaper than the average Lego set he’ll put together once. Is it worth it?
Personally, I’d wait a bit yet. Sometimes kids go through weird little phases that last several months and then are gone.
If he persists for 2-3 more months, I’d sit down and talk to him about it. Why he wants it, how often he thinks he would use it, where he would and wouldn’t take it with him, what would happen if it gets lost or broken, what steps is he prepared to take to make sure it doesn’t get lost or broken, that sort of thing. And since he says he wants it to call you when Dad is busy, I think it would be worthwhile to discuss what happens if he calls and you don’t pick up or you’re busy too and can’t entertain/reassure him right then. If he seems like the sort of kid to go to pieces about that sort of thing, I’d probably not give him the phone. If he seems like he would take it in stride, I guess I’m not entirely sure why he wants/needs the phone in the first place, but I don’t see it doing him any harm.
FWIW, my mom always hated it when kids that age brought cell phones to school–they always wound up lost or broken (though a lot of the “lost” ones turned up in the kid’s desk where they’d simply forgotten it), and then the parents would turn up in a shrieking rage because someone had stolen or destroyed little Snowflake’s very expensive phone.
I guess I don’t see anything wrong with a TracFone or something, that you can put minutes in. I feel kind of sorry for the poor little tyke, missing his mom. But don’t spend a lot of money on it.
My oldest is 10, and the idea of giving her a cell phone hasn’t crossed my mind. I have no intention of getting them cell phones ever. If they want them when they’re teenagers, they can get jobs and pay for them themselves, just like they can buy their own cars and weed and whatever other luxuries they want.
Kids in elementary school or middle school have no conceivable use or need for them at all. They did manage to get along for thousands of years without them. I never got a cell phone until I was in my 30’s and I didn’t die.
That’s amazing to me. At my school, deactivated phones get confiscated till the end of the year, much less active ones. (I’ve on occasion offered kids a one-time grace on the confiscation of a deactivated phone, since they see it as only a toy and don’t understand the big deal, and it’s just possible that I don’t see the big deal either). I’ve never seen a kid with an active phone at my school, though I’m sure it happens on occasion in the upper grades.
I’m 35 and don’t have a cell phone: it’s a luxury I can do without, and the cost is enough that I’m willing to go without. Some day I suspect cell phones will outcompete land lines pricewise, and I’ll get one then. Until then, neither I nor my daughter will have one. My wife has one that we almost never use, but whenever one or both of us go on a trip, we take it along.
Cell phones and other handheld gizmos are simply what people use nowadays. I’m 56, and I grew up in the age where most homes had just one phone, and it was hard-wired in; you couldn’t even unplug it and move it to a jack in another room, because there were no jacks. And of course, I remember when only rich people had mobile phones, back before cellular networks even existed.
Now we take both cordless phones and cell phones for granted. Stuff changes, and the role that the changed stuff plays in our lives changes. And certainly, pretty much all our kids’ rooms are filled with things that are hardly necessities, but we wouldn’t regard as luxuries either - and probably cost a good deal less than adding an extra cell phone to an existing contract.
If the Firebug was at the age where it was an issue for him (still several years away, yet), my criteria would simply be whether I was able to trust him to not lose the damned thing, whether I was able to trust him to obey whatever policies his school has regarding them, and whether I thought I could trust him to put down the phone promptly without a fight when his mother or I needed to get in a word edgewise.
Divorced father of 2, shared custody. I got my kids phones around their tenth birthday, partly for my own convenience. I was able to call them directly, rather than dealing with their mother. My daughter was plenty mature at ten. When my son reached that age a few years later, it made him feel grown up. Also they could call me from bed to tell me about their day. Many nights my daughter would fall to sleep while we chatted.
That was pretty much our criteria. Also, our son does a lot of overnights at friend’s homes - and not all those friend’s homes have landlines. If we need to get a hold of him, we call his friend’s dad’s cell phone. Friend’s dad is off fishing for the weekend, we can’t get a hold of our kid (though we have been able to find out how the fish are biting) unless we drive over - which we’ve done a few times. While he doesn’t always answer his cell phone (he’s gotten better) at least there might be some chance to speak to our own kid.
He isn’t permitted to take it to school. In middle school they can bring them to school, but they must remain in purse/backpack/locker.
