“Couldn’t make it. There were too many vampires outside my apartment.”
It just so happens that the perfect answer for these situations was on television a few nights ago.
“Oh, I’d love to. But I’m doing a press release in Japan. And I’m lying.” - Tom Hanks
If they don’t accept that answer, the response is; “Okay, I’ll come. But I’m lying again.” - Tom Hanks
Just beware, lame excusers, that the invitee’s patience will only last so long with you.
I have a “friend” who’s ass is welded so securely to his couch he has blown me off for everything I’ve invited him to do for the past 10 years. That’s hardly an exaggeration. I’ve invited him to card games, to bars, to concerts, to shows my band was doing, to ball games, just to come hang out … I can can count on one penis the things he has shown up for.
The last straw is when I bought my new house last month, which is one town over from him - literally less than three miles away from him - and he suddenly came down ill when I invited him over to check out the new digs.
I’ve stopped inviting him to anything.
An invitation to a junior high, or even high school, graduation is just a small parental stealth brag with a slight hint to send a gift. Surely they don’t actually want you to show up at the junior high?
If you send a gift, then the kid’s mom will make him send you a thank you note. Then you have to tell mom what a wonderful child she has because of the thank you. It’s a vicious cycle.
Win!
I’ve always used, “I’m on call that weekend,” or “I’ll be TDY…” Usually baffles those that don’t know what it means into submittal, or it’s vague enough but yet totally plausible to those that do.
Tripler
On call. Right now.
I don’t want to be harsh, but there’s a distinct possibility that his reaction to this would be, “Jesus, finally!”
I have a couple former friends who didn’t realize they were “former” for a really long, uncomfortable time. Maybe I’m not in the right etiquette-wise, but I feel like always being busy is a nicer way to break it off - it allows people to save face and makes it much less awkward when you run into each other than if you’d said, “Lets not be friends anymore - go away.”
Heh - that’s just about perfect. Fifth marriage? I’ll send a nice card. Why should I make a bigger commitment than Fred obviously is?
{Makes a note to steal this in the future}
That’s kind of what I was thinking - I’ll make about three invitations, then after that, I get the message - people make time for things they want to do, and if you’re always busy for me, I get it. No harm, no foul; I just move on.
A person who is a lame excuser is hoping this is what happens.
So there is no “beware”. They are all well-aware of what lame excusing does to a relationship, and they simply do not care.
This person is NOT your “friend”.
Time to stop pretending that he is.
Man, that’s like, 4 days per bride.
These whole “milestone” graduations are a joke. I already take care of those with my kid, it’s called a birthday party. If I invite you (an adult) you don’t need to bring a gift, just hang out, have a beer, and keep me sane during the chaos.
I love all the excuses but I agree with miss elizabeth. I rarely give excuses, I just say I can’t. Reasons are only owed if you had previously agreed to something and then withdraw. I love the principle of not owing a reason or having to explain myself and I like the practical side of not having to lie later. So: “I’m sorry I can’t”. Full stop.
I’ve got friends who were brought up in the English tradition: you always make a lame excuse unless you have no manners at all.
I was brought up in the Scots Presbyterian tradition. Lame Excuses are Lies. If I’m not going to attend, I say “No thank you”.
Just so you know: I hate it when people lie to me. From friends, I will put up with that. From everybody else – well, they never graduate to friends.
Jack, that was a really good parody post. I laughed.
Then the laughing got harder when you got four nibbles.
Yeah, glad I’ve entertained you. Of course, I was being serious, but as long as you’re amused, that’s what counts.
Unfortunately, people like the one complained about in the OP believe they are OWED an explanation of why you are deeply offending them by not attending, so they can prove to you that theirs is the superior event, and/or to force you to come by making your attendance an indication of what you think of them as a person.
Of course, it’s probably better not to associate with such people at all.