Evrything shud bee speled the way it souns. That way wee kan avoyd awl the problums of inglish speling. Doant yew think this is beter? A lot of leters ar kwite unesesary, and wee shud ferget them.
Mooney, you so dumb!
Ma Bell = girl
Me = boy
Sheesh, I got nothing against a secret identity or two, but I like to keep the same basic configuration down there in my pants. Pay attention.
Don’t worry Ex, numbers are safe. As far as I know we need all of them. At least none of them irk me they way a few of the letters do. (I think the Greek letters are safe too, but I won’t think about it too hard anyway.)
Everyone else, hi and thanks for playing.
-Rue.
That’s the beauty of my plan–you’d only have one key on your keyboard to learn. Or, in new Slortar-speak:
Ffff’f fff ffffff ff ff ffff–fff’f ffff ffff fff fff ff ffff ffffffff ff fffff.
It’s fun and easy! 
For Slortar and others interested in the elimination of letters - check out the very clever and amusing book Ella Minnnow Pea by Mark Dunn.
He basically eliminates one or more letters each chapter, and writes the chapter using only what’s left in the alphabet. Must’ve been a real pain to write by the time he got to the end of the book.
Whoops. Ella Minnow Pea. With two Ms, not three.
Or two N’s. Whichever.
Do you realize the thread is now halfway to page 2? Really. It’s rather amazing, isn’t it?