Two days ago, when my husband said he wishes he’d never married me.
A couple of years ago my friend went through a very messy divorce in which she lost primary custody of her son to her ex. She was feeling down, so I took her on a small vacation to a tourist spot a few hours away and didn’t let her pay for any of it. I honestly did it out of concern for her, since I wanted to get her mind off of all the bad stuff she’d just gone through. While we were there, we had a few long talks about how I didn’t think my own marriage was going to work out and how she felt about her own divorce.
A few months later, my husband and I split up. He told me one day a few weeks into it that he’d been talking to my friend about our relationship, and that she thought I was stupid for leaving him. Now, I didn’t believe that was what she said, because we’d already talked about how unhappy I was and she’d agreed that I should get out. I told her in an email that I didn’t mind if she stayed in touch with my ex (he’d been helping her with a project when we separated, and it wasn’t completed), but to please refrain from discussing me and the divorce with him. I told her that I didn’t think she’d said anything wrong, but that even talking about it with him gave him an opportunity to get at me.
That made her really mad for some reason, and she told me that she didn’t have to stop talking to him (which wasn’t what I asked her to do, anyway) just because I wasn’t mature enough to handle it. She also said that he’s her friend too, and started talking about all the help he’d given her. I was flabbergasted, and said that if it was about who did the most for her, I had just taken her on vacation (I know that I shouldn’t have said that, but she was starting to make me angry). She came back with, “You have always been one to point out what you do for me.”
Completely untrue and it really hurt. We had been friends for twenty years, and although we still talk on occasion, our friendship will never be the same.
I’ve been losing a lot of weight this year and a couple of weeks ago my husband really put his foot in it when I was trying on something that nearly fits just right and he made some comment about how his “fraternity friends” would have described one of my body parts.
Ugh.
I went through years and years of abusive teasing about my looks and my “weirdness” (that is to say, preferring to read than to play sports or go shopping) and I really, really, really don’t want to hear that kind of cruel, juvenile crap coming from someone who loves me.
He realized how hurt I was though… he’s usually so supportive and he was just being silly, didn’t think about how it’d make me feel. So we’re all good now but it really hurt my feelings more than it should have.
I hope this doesn’t hurt your feelings, but I wish he’d never married you too! Then he could take out his ugliness on someone else. :mad:
Ouch. What happened? From what I’ve read of your posts, it has seemed like you had a good relationship.
2 hours ago when my husband wouldn’t leave a topic alone.
Reader’s Digest version:
He came up with a plan to pay the big kids for yard work. I backed him, although I thought they should do it for nothing. He pays them $10/hour.
Today I let littlest one pick up sticks -a whole wheelbarrowfull-for $2. No other chores for money today from him-just the sticks. He was so proud of his work–and I was too.
Hubby kept razzing me about my overpaying the youngest one–even went as far as to call out to oldest one:"hey, if you want to make REAL money; go pick up sticks for Mom. Theh we had a whole riff on my poor math skills.
I almost said “fuck off” then realized that kids were present.
I am still steamed about it.
Yo-Mr. Rigby–fuck off.
(other than that, I really don’t get my feelings hurt that often anymore–a blessing of adult middle age, I imagine).
oops-sorry for the bad language…forgot I wasn’t in the Pit.
Maybe he was trying to point out how strong your relationship is compared to “normal” relationships. I think you are being too pessimistic. There are many other ways to interpret his comment without asking him what he meant.
Had a boyfriend once, that on a visit to my parents, pointed out a picture of me (one that I really liked) and said “Hey, no wonder you didn’t date in college. You looked like a lesbian.” Strangely, our relationship didn’t last much longer.
Had my feelings hurt by a boss on a temp job. There were two other temp workers, but they were only part time. I was full time. I was part of the staff for the website. I helped with creative and technical stuff, I handled my own pages, and others came to me for help. Come the big party that she’s promised us for getting 2 million hits, she gives out the coolest black suede jackets I have ever seen to everyone at the meeting. Except for me. I didn’t get one, you see, because I was a temp. It would make the other temp workers - the ones who took phone orders - jealous. Never mind that there were ten other people sitting around me, oohing and aahing over their way cool jackets, playing the the zippers, and complimenting each other.
Oh, and there was the time my dad told me he thought I was a Pagan so I could run around and “shock” people with it. Hey, way to respect your daughter, Dad. :rolleyes:
Yesterday one of my cow-orkers, who I thought was at least my ‘work friend’ accidentally sent an email to me that she meant to send to someone else - about me. In it, she called me a not nice name and cruelly made fun of me. Then when I emailed her back w/ a modified ‘WTF??’, she blew it off by saying she was referring to someone/something else she thought we were talking about. So, on top of her initial insult, she acted like I was an idiot who would buy that pile of dung. That all hurt my feelings and stings even now.
Jeebus–how passive/aggressive can you get?
Sorry to hear that, portia --and she is no friend to you.
this thread is depressing me.
Last summer when my grandfather (who raised me) was in the hospital after a severe stroke.
It wasn’t his fault, and even though he could barely speak when he wasn’t frustrated or angry, he apologized.
He had asked for water, and I told him all he could have was thickened water, which was nasty, and he didn’t want. After saying water about 10 times, he looked over at me and said “Why can’t you just get your grandfather some damn water”. It hurt me badly that I couldn’t provide him with something that he needed.
That was a VERY bad day. He passed away less than a week later.
I got my feelings hurt a couple of weeks ago.
I graduated with my MLS after 3 grueling years of being a parent, working part-time, running a home, and going to school.
I invited my in-laws, my brother-in-law, and his girlfriend to attend (they live around 3 hours away). The in-laws opted out because they wanted to do their regular monthly gambling trip to Tunica, MS (six hours away). My brother-in-law said if they weren’t going, he wasn’t either – I learned this after the fact, because he never bothered to respond to my invitation. I’ve treated him like my own brother for half his life, which is how long I’ve known him.
To add insult to injury, when my husband saw his parents the following week, he told them I was really hurt that no one from his side of the family had bothered to come to my graduation. His dad said nothing, his mom said, “huh.” And that was that. No one apologized, no one cared.
I guess I always knew intellectually that they didn’t consider me part of the family, or care about me and what was important to me, but the whole episode really hurt my feelings. It just brought the point home emotionally.
Mrs. Furthur
A few months ago, my husband and I got on the subject of domestic abuse. He said that he couldn’t understand why victims of domestic abuse weren’t smart enough to get out of the situation. This, knowing that I had had a physically and sexually abusive boyfriend for five years when I was a lot younger. I almost lost it. After breathing deeply for a few seconds, I reminded him that I had been in such a relationship. Then, in a remarkably calm manner, I managed to point out all the reasons I had stayed in said relationship for so long, and asked if he thought I was stupid. He said of course not, we discussed what he had said a bit further, and he would up apologizing profusely.
Still, even though he took everything back and revised his opinion, that comment really cut deeply. I think it was the most hurtful thing he’s ever said to me.
I was really crushed a few weeks ago when this dude I used to date (well, we were ‘just friends’ for 2 years) pitted himself here, in The Pit, for all the mean stuff he’d done to me when we were hanging out. Alot of the stuff he mentioned I wasn’t even aware of, so it made me feel extremely stupid and more taken than I’d thought myself to be. I haden’t had my feelings hurt like that in a long time.
Most of the replies, thankfully, pointed out what a jackass he was and few people, if any, made mention of what an idiot i had been. Whew 
ZipperJJ, I saw that. I just want to let you know that I, too, thought he was a total jackass. Wish I could have heard your side (probably because I am nosy like that, but also because you seemed like you wanted to share it).