When will Donald Trump publish his first Tarzan novel?

The BBQ Pit
1

I have been following the Can you please critique this letter to the estate of Tarzan’s creator? thread and can’t help reading it as if the OP is Donald Trump and he is planning to write a novel and stiff the heirs of Edgar Rice Burroughs, even if it requires stacking the Supreme Court and strongarming his party to invalidate trademark and copyright laws.

The OP, like Donald Trump, has his ideas and has made up his mind despite all the advice offered to him.

I see the next four years to be like this.

2

This, my friend, is a leap so far and ridiculous not even Superman could make it in a single bound.

Trump isn’t writing a “Tarzan” novel, he couldn’t if he wanted to, with copyright laws and all.

3

OMFG-At least read the link provided if you’re going to respond.

4

He’s probably more of a Holmesian.

5

Congratulations. You started a Trump thread.

Here’s your participation trophy.

6

I hate golf, so I never tune into the Golf Channel.

Food for thought.

7

Nah. Way more than 140 characters.

8

If Trump did write a Tarzan novel, it would be the length of a tweet, and wouldn’t require page numbers. The thickest part of even the paperback version wold be the covers.
ETA: Curse you, Steve MB!

9

Weekly Reader or maybe Highlights would be my guess.

10

I think he should strongly consider including a character based on the Artful Dodger, but Mexican, to comment on institutional wall-building.

11

I think the thread referenced in the OP is the embodiment of “It’s taking longer than we thought.”

12

Gallant hold the door open for his date
Goofus grabs them by the pussy!

Gallant fold the flag reverently
Goofus wipes his ass with it!

Gallant shows respect for the military
Goofus talks about “destroyed generals” and accuses US Soldiers of plundering millions

(I could do this all day.)

13

Chapter 1

Me Tranpzan,

You… Pussy.

14

Oh please do. [Insert: You owe me a keyboard for that.] I can absolutely see those fuckers saying that The first one had the missus looking at me funny.

15

It always does when the ignorance keeps fighting back.

Reading that thread, I keep thinking of Wolfgang Pauli.

16

The only time Trump ever hears about Holmes is when it is preceded by “yo” and followed by “smell you later.”

17

Gallant speaks to his priest with respect
Goofus picked a fight with the Pope

Gallant has a clear philosophy, a respect for data, and an ethical system based upon the greatest good.
Goofus believes the last person to speak to Goofus, regardless of what they are saying

Gallant believes in America and in his responsibility of citizenship
Goofus surrounds himself with people who want to destroy this country, and the world around it

Gallant married a nice American lass, banged out two kids, and they founded a ice cream store to keep them occupied in retirement
Goofus married two Communists, bankrupted half the people he knew and tarnished the reputation of all who knew him, and somehow became President of the United States on a wave of white ethno-nationalism not seen since the 1950s, if not before

Trump even looks like Goofus

18

And one of the characters is trademarked.

19

Kadmos1 is still at it. Now all he needs are the most expensive lawyers to convince the Supreme Court to change the law.

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=20109229#post20109229

20

He would just hire a ghost writer, because he’s too incompetent and too fucking lazy to do any of the work himself.