Most likely they learned that from movies and TV. Hardly anything bugs me more than just hanging up or (these days) folding up the cell phone without so much as a friendly “Seacrest Out!” word of farewell.
“Hello, this is me. Wait, that’s probably obvious. Except I have to say something. Maybe I should say ‘mu’? … Hello? Hello?” 
I would like to say’shalom’ sometimes, too. I like how it puffs off of my lips.
ETA: On a slight hijack note…how do you all call someone else? I was always taught to identify myself and state my business. “Hi, this is Nzinga, may I speak to Zeldar?”
I am so committed to this that I get very irritated if someone calls me and doesnt identify themselves upfront and state their biz asap.
Nzinga, I do that too.
I find it slightly irritating when I call my oldest brother - he always says, “Yes, ma’am - what can I do for ya?”
It makes me feel like he’s assuming I’m about to ask for something - when usually I’m just trying to say hello. I’ve called him on it a few times - but I think he’s just used to his wife and our mom calling for “schtuff.”
“Go for Papa Palpatine!”
At work, “El_Kabong speaking”.
On my personal cell (I gave up a land line years ago), “Hello”, or “Speaking”. If ID shows it’s someone I know well, I might say “Whaaaaaat?” or do Frank Nelson from the old Jack Benny show: “Yeeeeesssssss?”
With that said, maybe I should stop. When I saw this:
…all I could think of is how my brother does stuff like that, and how obnoxious it is. Sorry, can’t help it.
Oh, I’ll just mention the Pakistani immigrant who used to work for my outfit, who whenever anyone would call him would pick up the phone and say “I am Qureshi”.
I’ve done this at the times of day when there’s a 98% probability that it’s a telemarketer. Robo-dialers will make the connection, but won’t connect to the actual human telemarketer unless they get that initial “Hello.” So if you just pause a few seconds before saying saying anything, the robo-dial machine will hang up. It’s pretty short. Bascially you just pick up and mentally count and-a-one-and-a-two-and-a “Hello, Cellphone speaking!” Robo-dialers usually hang up by the time you get to two-and-a.
If you’ve got a friend calling at a weird hour, they usually go “Huh? Hello?” at the delay, so you won’t usually miss a real call.
I had a friend that did that. When he got bored with it, he started answering with “Green.”
Back in the day when I got far more calls at work than at home, I’d sometimes answer my home phone with “Hi, this is tdn, how may I help you?” Nothing like starting off a cal with a red face.
I hate calling branches who need assistance. You never know if the person answering is going to be extra chatty.
I want to be able to say, “Hi, this is zwei from (dept) at (company), I was trying to reach (name)?”
But sometimes chatty phone answerers interrupt, so it’s more like:
“Hi, this is zwei from (dept) at (company), I wa—”
“Hi, how are you?”
And because they started saying it while I’m in the middle of my standard greeting, it looks like I’m all rude and just bulldozing over the person’s attempt at politeness because I keep speaking for a bit while they’re asking how I am. Dammit! :mad:
Just like Monty Burns, I answer with “Ahoy, ahoy”.
What? Why are y’all looking at me that way?
OK, I am lying.
Actually I answer “Good morning (or afternoon or evening), this is Gagundathar Inexplicable.” when I am on my landline at work and it is a client calling. On my cell, it depends upon who is calling. Obviously I don’t answer “Inexplicable here” when it is my spousal-unit, but if it is a colleague that is how I answer.
Oh and I usually end the call with my colleagues with “Inexplicable out”. This amuses them and makes them easier to deal with.
Pretty much here too. The only people who call on the land line are people we don’t want to talk to. We just keep that number to have a number to give people who must have a number.
Also, I have yet to work up the courage to answer my phone with a querulous “Oh yes?” à la Quentin Crisp.
At work: “Good morning (or afternoon or evening), Cantara Lastname.” We have call display at work and I usually know who is calling, but I treat the call as if I don’t. If someone is calling from a colleages desk, I don’t get caught.
At home: “Hello?” For telemarketers I say Hello twice. If they can’t be bothered to pick up by the second one, I hang up. I know how the wardialers work but if they can’t get their act together to talk to me then I can’t be bothered. I’ve heard people start to talk as the phone hits the hook a number of times.
As a kid I used to answer “Lastname residence, this is Cantara Lastname speaking.” I did this for years from age 8-20. I used to get a couple of different reactions, confusion at the length of the greeting, appreciation at the detail (usually older people), or consternation from friends (“Why do you answer that way?”). I stopped when I got my own place and I was the only person that the call would be for.
If I was calling someone who answered with “alright”…and I was calling them to ask a yes/no question…and if I was feeling persnickety…
I’d say “thanks” and hang up immediately.
I rarely answer the phone at home. I HATE talking on the phone after working for 40+ years and having to answer a business phone. I just let the call go to voice mail and call the person back later, when I feel like it. People close to me get it and email me. I get right back to them then. I have caller ID. Sometimes I look at it sometimes not. Whatever… Yeah, sometimes I’m a pita.
My favourite:
“I knew it was you!!”
If the caller is a friend or relative, they’re slightly taken aback. If it’s someone official, you usually get a loooong pause before they speak.
I live in Indiana… we have a No Call Law, you sign up your number and telemarketers are fined if they call you (police and charities exempted). It actually works!
I pay my bills so I don’t have collectors calling. I do have teenagers, so I get a lot of calls for them.
I use a simple “Hello” and then I wait. It surprises me how many people will ask me “Who’s this?” You called…you should know. I reply “Nope…you called, who is THIS?”
Interesting, the evolution of the phone call…party lines anyone?
Some of my more frequent telephone greetings:
“Yeah.”
“What.”
“Huh.”
“This is Danny.”
“Hola.”
“Buen.”
“Bueno.”
loud scream
pushing the phone close to the radio
putting the phone close to flushing toilet
“Yankee Stadium, third base.”
“SSSHHUUUUUUUUUUT UPPPP ASSHOLE!”
“Hi.”
“Uh, hey, baby.” (in Butthead’s voice, use this one for my mom , pisses her off good)
“Taco Bell”
“Jack’s Funeral Home” (if its a telemarketer)