When you die & go to Heaven, what 3 pieces of equipment would you like to be issued?

In My Humble Opinion
41
  1. Good fitting shoes
  2. Comfortable Sex
  3. A Warm place to go to the Bathroom.
42

I notice when it comes right down to it that nobody is going to waste a listing on Hi Opal!

43

A variation of Billy Rubin’s joke is what ended the career of Secretary of the Interior Earl Butz in the Ford Administration.

44

Err, DUHH!!

b.

45

by the way, DPWhite, that wasn’t meant as a jab, just as humor and not in ill-will.

I still find the idea amusing that anyone could be so stupid (Senator Butz)as to believe that those three things were “all” anyone needed.

b.

46

Well, instead of pestering the grownups to “tell me the joke, tell me tell me TELL ME”, I went and looked it up myself. Then I went, “Oh, yeaaahhhh… I remember that…”

http://www.arktimes.com/bob/100998bob.html

http://www.tompaine.com/history/1999/10/18/1.html

47

And, er, he was neither a senator nor Secretary of the Interior–he was the Secretary of Agriculture.

48

I’m going for bigger items here:

1. A pub. I’m a little concerned that there won’t be any pubs in heaven, as they are probably evil or something, so I want one of my own. I’ll even work in it sometimes, 'coz I quite fancy that. It’ll be a GOOD pub, mind, with enough different sections to suit my moods: lounge-style bit for loafing in; big open area with pop music for warming up for a big night; big screen area for watching the football (when there are no big games on, the Sept. 1st match between England and Germany will be replayed). And it will be a SMOKING pub, so no fobbing me off with an American model, thank you very much. Oh yes, and there will be Karaoke on Sunday nights.

2. A night club. OK, I’ve got my pub, now I need somewhere to go afterwards. So, I’ll have cool club. It will play 70s disco hits mixed with modern cheesy pop most nights, but it will probably have a couple of dance nights each week, too. It will also stock Aftershock. Ah, and one more thing - it will have a smokey back-room gambling den tucked away somewhere.

3. A flying Mini Cooper with a Union Jack painted on the roof. Now THAT would be a cool way to pop down to Earth every now and again.

I realise I’m missing out on some of lifes simple pleasures here (mountain biking springs to mind), though I figure that with my entertainment franchise, you lot will all lend me your items in exchange for entry to my pub and club.

49

DPWhite wrote:

You’re probably thinkin’ of the Helm of Comprehending Languages and Reading Magic. Too bad AlbertRose said he wanted a magic ring and not a magic helm!

50

Skip the halo, give me a really good looking leather jacket.
Skip the wings, give me a big ol’ Caddy convertible.
Skip the harp, give me Stevie Ray Vaughn’s guitar.

And directions to sirjamesp’s pub and nightclub (I’ll be drinking at the pub, and headlining at the nightclub!)

51

Call me a curmudgeon, but given the sudden musical predilections of so many of the elect, I would have to choose… earplugs.

And a safe-passage, round-trip Visa, to visit my friends in Hell.

And my earthly sense of humor, although I doubt that would get past the Pearly Gates/Sin Detectors.

Live forever, chanting hosannas to God’s greatness?
I’d prefer not to.

Screwtape – uh, I mean, “Scrivener”
:wally:
[d&r]

52
  1. Nicole Kidman
  2. A Taiwanese spin-fuck chair
  3. lube
53

Here’s what I want:

  • A complete set of golf clubs that I can hit like Tiger Woods. I’m talkin 300yds straight as an arrow right down the center of the fairway, everytime.

  • A Stratocaster that I can play like Clapton

  • A custom kitchen like Emeril or someone has on television so that I can cook to my hearts desire.

54

  1. iridescent blue wings

  2. red velvet combat boots

  3. silver leather pants and T-shirt

I want to stand out in those crowds at the Mozart/Hendrix/Lennon/Beetoven/Joplin concerts.