A change in scenery. Not having to cook and clean up after myself. Sunlight while reading. (or not). Fewer (or more) distractions. Better coffee than I can make at home. As far as people watching - the weird guy in the corner will still be amusing. For nice restaurants, a wonderfully cooked meal that tastes great.
But especially with concerts/movies/plays - if I want to see a play, I just go. The words are the same whether or not someone is with me. The actors will have done just as good of a job. I’m there to see the play - which will be the same play whether or not I’m in a crowd. If it’s a play/movie I want to see, I’m going. If someone wants to come along, great. If not, I would not miss out on what could be an incredible experience.
Plus, I’ve gotten tickets to die for when I’ve said “Oh, I only need one seat.”
That’s the best part! Most people go in couples or groups, so you get these odd seats out between them. No one wants to sit on their own when going as part of a group, no matter how good the seats, so if you go on your own you can get some of the best seats even if you buy them a little late.
I’ve only been to three concerts with others, all the rest I’ve gone to on my own because I had no one to go with me. If I decided not to go because I was on my own, I’d have missed out on all the fun! And as I have very few friends who can just come with me when I am able to go out (live in another town, aren’t interested in the same thing) I’d be missing out on a lot of things.
Whether I have reading material with me, like magazines, novels or textbooks. Textbooks are good because they tend to stay open by themselves.
How long I plan to spend eating. If I’m planning to wolf something down and head off to class or work, no reading.
What I’m eating. I like reading while eating pho, Chinese or Japanese food, but after too many black bean showers, I’ve accepted that Chipotle burritos are a two-hand food and don’t go with most reading material.
When I don’t feel like cooking/cleaning up, I swing by a fast food place. Or call for pizza. Or order something to go from Ruby Tuesday’s or Macaroni Grill. Or swing by the grocery store deli on my way home and get a sandwich (like I did last night). Sure, there’s still a little cleanup involved just by virtue of eating at home, but I’d rather deal with that than spend an entire meal thinking how much better of an experience it would be if someone were there with me. Which is how I’ve felt the few times I’ve eaten out by myself.
See, to me, most of the fun in such situations comes from sharing them. The quality of the event itself does not change whether I witness it alone or with someone, but the quality of my experience does. I’m sure there’s a possibility that I could have an “incredible experience” doing something like that on my own, but I happen to think the chances are pretty slim, so I generally don’t bother. Plus, if something incredible did happen while I was by myself, I would be frustrated as hell that there was no one to talk about it with!
I hate just sitting and eating, even at home. If I’m out, TV isn’t an option, so I’ve always got a book–and the fact that I’m going to be reading dictates my food choices, as I don’t want to have to use my reading hand to manipulate the food too frequently.
I don’t eat alone in restaurants, because it makes me feel like a loser. Also, if I’m not with someone there isn’t any reason to be in the restaurant, I might as well take the food home. Actually, I prefer eating at home to eating in restaurants most of the time… you can use your own dishes, don’t have to worry about conversation levels, and don’t have to worry about pissing the waitress off because you need a pop refill every ten minutes. My fave is bringing food home when I have other people to share it with–best of all worlds.
I do see movies alone. Since watching a movie (aside from those movies designed for group experience like Office Space or Galaxy Quest) is a solitary activity anyway (or for MOST people it is… damn those people who are so extroverted they have to talk to others during the movie!) so there’s nothing weird about going alone, except that you don’t have anyone to discuss the movie with. But there’s always the Straight Dope for that, right?
See, there’s the crux of the matter. (For me, anyway, and most likely for several of the other posters in the thread). While any one time I may miss having someone specific with me (by that I mean my wife and son), other than that, I don’t miss just having “someone” there with me. That wouldn’t make the experience any better; or to put it another way, the experience isn’t lessened by being alone. I have no discomfort in being alone.
And if I’m eating out alone, the goal isn’t to be with “someone”, it’s to enjoy the food from restaurant X, and not have to fix it myself. And sometimes to just get out of the house or apartment.
On a different note: I see a few people in this thread “people watch”. This is wierd to me; what, you just stare at people? I guess I just don’t watch other people. The idea kind of creeps me out, actually. Which is another reason why, if I’m there alone, I want something to do while waiting.
Until this thread, I thought I was the only one who has what I call “emergency books” in my car aside from my mom, who I got the idea from in the first place.
I almost asked why this is so hard for y’all to understand, but then I remembered that I still don’t get your inclinations to be out doing social things all by yourselves.
You can watch a movie in silence but still have it not be a solitary activity – laughing at the same time as the person you’re with, exchanging a knowing look at a shared joke, etc. I watch movies at home by myself all of the time, but if I’m going to pay for a ticket and have to listen to other people talk (and hear their phones ring, etc.), I’m damn well going to be doing it as a way to spend time with a friend. And sorry, I just don’t consider discussing a movie here to be the same as talking with someone on the way out of the theatre, or the same as having shared the general experience (“could you believe it when that little kid screamed right THEN?”). Does that make me a bad person?
The experience isn’t lessened by being alone, I just know that it would be better if someone were sharing it with me (“someone” is not to be confused with “anyone,” btw). I have no discomfort in being alone, either – I’ve eaten out and gone to movies by myself, and it’s not like I had a horrible time (I like to think that I’m pretty decent company!). I just prefer to do such things with other people, and I don’t feel like I’m “missing out” on anything by choosing to do so.
Well, obviously your goal isn’t to be with someone if you’re out alone. But why does it have to be one extreme or the other? Can’t I want to enjoy the food and someone’s company? If I just want to enjoy the food, I’ll bring it home (like I said). I’ve eaten in some very, very good restaurants, but I have yet to come across a meal so enjoyable that I’d choose to sit by myself in the restaurant while I eat it.
Oh man, I love to people watch! Give me dinner with a fellow people-watcher at a DC restaurant with outdoor seating and I’m a happy chick.
It doesn’t have to be one or the other. I like going out and having dinner with someone, just as much as I enjoy being by myself. And if you’re like me and don’t have a vehicle… well by the time I got the food home it would be cold so I’d have to reheat it and set my table and realize I didn’t have any soda or they didn’t give me enough of something… Why bother messing up ANY dishes at all when I don’t have to? It’s more work than it has to be. I despise cleaning, I do it but if I can avoid it completely for one night I jump on it.
I love Cross Sums, and in the days when I worked in an office I always had my Cross Sums magazine to take with me to lunch. I enjoyed a Chinese restaurant across the street that had a good buffet. I guess I went there more often than I thought because the owner one day mentioned my “contest” that I was always working on, and asked me if I’d ever won any money playing it!
I work at home now, but occasionally, if I’m running errands, I’ll find myself out during lunch. I’ll usually buy a paper to have something to read.
Since I’m a semi-empty nester, I eat alone at home a lot, too, and must have either TV or a book to occupy my mind while I’m stuffing my face.
These days I do my Cross Sums in bed as I’m winding down for the day!
I absolutely must have something to rea if I’m out to eat alone; either a magazine or the daily newspaper is preferred as these lay flat and don’t require a hand to hold them open. Like some others here, I keep an emergency magazine stash in my car.
I always carry something to read just in case I am held up for any reason. I have even been guilty of reading at the movies waiting for the session to start. If I dine alone anywhere other than the Singapore Noodle House (the food is prepared like lightning) I will read a paper or book.
Someone once asked me what activites created “flow” for me (you know, that feeling of being completely engaged, so that you do not notice the passage of time)
My first answer was reading and eating. For some reason doing them together is better than doing either by itself.
I have also taken a book to a movie alone, so I’d have something to do while waiting for the lights to go down. I once saw a girl w/ a book waiting for a Barenaked Ladies concert to start and thought “what a good idea”
I also read when eating in a fast food restaurant w/ my two sons, no doubt providing them w/ grist for the future therapy sessions.
I took a book (and a book light) to Scooby Doo with my kids. I had no interest in seeing the movie, and just knew it would be awful, so I took a book.
My sister graduated from high school when I was 11. It was a huge class, and I took a book. No one suggested it, I just thought, “This is gonna be boring, I better take a book.”
My mom didn’t even realize I had it with me till we were seated and I pulled it out during the endless speeches. She opened her mouth for a second, I think to scold me for not paying attention, then thought better of it. It was a hot auditorium, it was a tremendously boring event for an 11-year-old, and I’d figured out a way (ahead of time, too!) to amuse myself. It was from then on that I always made sure I had a book with me.
I have books in my car as well. I don’t know how I started the practice of reading while eating, but if I am alone I need something to occupy my mind. When I was younger I would take books with me to synagogue- the novelization of Star Wars was a handy thing to have during the high holidays when I was 10. I don’t think that the Rabbi was a huge fan though.
Misnomer, another reason for going out to a resturaunt alone to eat and read can be to escape one’s housemates. That was a big reason I did it.
The other two reasons were: Air Conditioning, and Free Refills.
Granted, I’m not talking fancy places - Taco Hell and Denny’s mostly. But getting an hour out of the house without my annoying housemates, no toddler asking for this, that, or the other thing, and by going at off hours I’d have plenty of time to sit, and drink and read, and just enjoy the cool and relative quiet. You go to Denny’s after the late dinner crowd, but before the bars close out, you’ll have great service, waitservers who know how to pay attention without hovering, and they’re used to the anti-social people like us.
The reason for the A/C is that I can’t afford to have A/C in my own house/apartment. I’m too tempted to refrigerate my bedroom, at least. I choose my ‘reading’ resturaunts based on how hard they run their A/C. And whether I get free refills.
By the way, what’s this problem with reading and eating at the same time? It only takes one hand to hold a book, that leaves the other hand for eating with. Never any risk with the book getting stained. Really.
I have walked miles through cities reading a book. Anaamika once you get the hang of it, it’s automatic. You just keep your peripheral vision attuned to changes and look up every 30-60 seconds. Very doable. (I think you’d enjoy this scene {From Pyramid Scheme by David Freer and Eric Flint} - it sounds like you’re getting to being able to recognize yourself there.)
