But, I was wondering, do Dopers regularly go to places alone? Perhaps because I’m an only child and therefore kind of used to being alone, but I regularly go out to places myself. Movies, fairs, restaurants (although I usually bring a book). I’ve got no problem with it.
I just spent the whole day at a faire by myself. I went to this faire before with some people and it was a great deal of fun, but this way I was able to spend the whole day there, and see every show, and not have to cater to other people. I packed my own lunch, and stopped when I was hungry to go to the car and eat.
I wouldn’t say I do this terribly often, but a few times a year, definitely. Others?
Hmm. This made me stop and think. I very rarely go anywhere without anyone else with me. Up until recently the reason was pretty obvious, there’s no public transportation in my hometown and I didn’t have a driver’s license. But now that I do, I still find myself going places with other people. I just enjoy the company and having someone else to experience things with and talk about afterwards.
I go to movies alone, shopping, hiking. I find it’s hard to find people who like the same types of films I do, and hiking… well, it’s very hard to find people who like to do 20-30 mile hikes, and I navigate some tough terrain (I live in the desert, after all).
I don’t mind doing things alone; as Anaamika noted, I don’t have to cater to other people that way. (Yes, I know I’m a bit self-centered and selfish.)
Beats all hell outta not finishing a planned hike, too.
Now that I think about it…no, I almost never go anywhere alone. But I’m sure that has a lot to do with two main facts. 1) I homeschool my son and so he is with me most of the time and 2) I’m married to someone who has very similar likes to mine so mostly we go do stuff as a family.
I did run an errand by myself last Tuesday, but that was no fun at all.
Almost exclusively. Ignoring my vacation last month and taking my boss to doctor’s appointments, I’ve probably been out with people maybe a dozen times in the past year at the most.
When I was single, I use to go out to all sorts of places by myself. The mall, the movies, etc.
But there was a period of time, when I use to play Magic the Gathering, and went to BBS get togeathers (I wonder if anybody under 30 remembers BBS’s and how popular they were untill the Internet took over). Anyway, I had a pretty huge social life, but that only lasted, maybe 3 years at most.
Other than that, I’ve allways pretty much been a loner. I married now, so if I want to go out and do something, I want to include my wife, but that’s about it.
I enjoy doing many things on my own. I like to shop on my own; be it groceries, clothes or books. I’ve got to know many people at my gym but I don’t like to have workout partners. I like to bike on my own, especially when I get a chance to bike in Vermont. I like long road trips by myself (with my music) to visit family and friends.
The one thing I don’t enjoy doing on my own is going to a restaurant. It feels particularly lonely to be eating out by myself at a nice restaurant. To me, meals are probably the most social activity next to sex.
I go to hockey games by myself cause the hubby doesn’t really care for hockey. I’ve made a bunch of friends there since I’ve been a season ticket holder so I guess it doesn’t count as going alone anymore.
Another loner here. Short of the occasional invite from a co-worker to hit the bar on a Friday night, everywhere I go, I go alone.
However, it does affect where I go and how often I do go places. I’ll go to a movie alone, or shopping, or out to eat, and the like. But, there are many things I don’t care to do alone (but will if it’s something I very much want to do), like going to a concert or hiking, and so I rarely get a chance to do them.
Pretty much always, unless my mom or sister wants to do something. I’ve been dipping into recluse mode since I was 5. In fact the last time I can recall doing anything with someone who wasn’t family would be back in 1997.
I wouldn’t mind having friends but even if I did have those and I wanted to do something I think my first instinct would still be to simply go and do it.
I’m a little hesitant to post my reply, because I got some defensive reactions the last time something like this came up, but I really can’t resist a thread like this at 1:30 on a Saturday night/Sunday morning. So, here’s hoping I’ll be able to explain myself better this time:
The only thing I do alone outside of the house is shop (grocery store, Target, Home Depot, etc.). Otherwise, I prefer to have someone with me to the point where I typically will skip an activity rather than do it by myself. It’s not that I can’t do things by myself – I certainly have in the past, and will if it’s something I really want to do – it’s just that for me, most of the point of doing anything is in the social aspect. So, I hardly ever travel or go to restaurants/movies/concerts/fairs by myself. Yes, this means that I hardly ever travel or go to restaurants/movies/concerts/fairs period, and I often wish that I had more friends in the area to do such things with, but I have to work with what I’ve got.
I understand what you’re saying. I was the same way when I was single. Now I have built-in companions, but back then I didn’t do anything by myself. I’m just a very social person. Eat out alone? Why? Eating out is a social thing for me. If I wasn’t meeting friends, I’d just eat at home or drive-thru some where. The social aspect was more important than the food itself.
I’m not going to be defensive…I just wanted to say that a HUGE part of it stems from the fact that I was an only child. i really like being alone, and treating myself. And as I said, if I go with friends, i have to compromise about what to do, see. etc. Now I don’t mind that, but this faire I went to…I just stayed there for about 9 **hours ** and watched every single show, and none of my friends would have had the patience to do that.
Exactly! Wow, where you were in that other thread?
But it seems like you are. You’re explaining why and providing an excuse (that you were an only child) as though you have to justify spending 9 hours alone at the faire you went to. I should have mentioned in my post that I totally get why people do things alone; really, I do. No judgment is intended at all. I completely understand why you spent the day by yourself at the faire: being able to spend the day how you chose was more important to you than sharing the experience. And I know that it’s not always – or even usually – your preference, but all I’m saying is that for me it’s never my preference.
There’s a certain pleasure inherent in doing things by yourself sometimes, I think. Doing things just the way you want, when you want, being just one aspect of it.
I’ll admit that there have been times where I’d be walking around an event by myself (an all day concert/fair once, never do that again) and feel a little morose looking around at all the couples and groups of friends all chatting and having a good time.
At other times I feel almost like I’m breaking some taboo, unwritten law. Like I slipped in without a partner or six and at any moment some usher is going to tap me on the shoulder and throw me out for being alone.
One time I was eating dinner (from the breakfast menu of course) in a nearly empty Denny’s, enjoying my being the only person without accompanyment, when another guy entered by himself… and the hostess seated him five feet away, directly across the aisle from me! I felt like this guy was invading my turf. It was a little odd a feeling, but it actually upset me to not be the only loner. He even brought a book with him, the wretch.
When I was younger I’d go for very long walks on my own. I’d walk aimlessly and not pay attention to where I was going or to landmarks or anything until I found myself in unfamiliar territory. There were times I found myself deep in some very not-nice neighborhoods in Elizabeth or Paterson, NJ, and I’d have to wander around at night looking for some sort of recognizable feature so I knew which way to go to get back home. Whenever I’d figure out exactly where I was I felt, I guess, proud of myself. I did this one time (inadvertantly) with a friend and it just wasn’t as much fun or rewarding to find our way back home.
My wife and I often do things alone. It would have been impossible for her to be a flight attendant for the last 7 years if we didn’t like being alone. Of course, she has an advantage on me as to the variety of places she can do it.
So, here’s hoping I’ll be able to explain myself better this time: