The “cryptoquote” and xword puzzles from the daily paper, including the NYT one…
I appreciate your sharing. 
However, it seems like no matter how many times I try to explain that I don’t feel like I’m depriving myself of anything by not doing things alone, another “dinner reader” kindly explains that they do things alone because they don’t see the need to deprive themselves of anything.
My head is starting to hurt from all of the banging. 
Maybe there just aren’t that many things I want to do, and I’m interested in fewer movies, concerts, dinners out, etc. than the rest of you. Maybe my social circle, tiny though it may be, is big enough for me. Or maybe it really is that I feel like all such events should be social events, and I think that doing them by myself makes about as much sense as ordering my favorite meal when I have a nasty cold and can’t taste anything. Whatever the case, I don’t feel like I’m depriving myself of anything! I don’t sit around wanting to go to a movie, have a meal out, or see a band, but just stay home instead because I have no one to go with. Like I’ve said from the start, I have done things by myself, it’s just extremely rare for me to want to. To me, a big enough part of the experience is in the sharing of it that, most of the time, if I can’t share it, I don’t want to do it.
The next person who addresses their post specifically to me and says, “I don’t feel the need to miss out on things just because I have no one to do them with” is going to be soundly, thoroughly, and haughtily ignored*.
*I am not threatening to put anyone on an ignore list. I don’t believe in ignore lists. This threat is for a one-thread-only ignoring. Had this been an actual ignore list threat, you would have been alerted about where to turn for information about my banning.
See, this IMO is a big part of it. I’ve never had very many friends, and even when I did have more than I do now we didn’t share a lot of the same interests.
Right now, the one person who has a lot of similar interests (in movies, food and bars) doesn’t get into town often. She, like me, doesn’t drive and so must rely on the whims of the buses and if we can afford it. The others have children (as do I) so it can be tough to coordinate even two of us to go anywhere without the kids as we’d rather not take them with us to a nice restaurant or into a movie where we know they’d disturb other patrons.
Well, for me at least it would be depriving if I waited for people to go with me, I’d hardly go out at all (ie maybe two, three times a year)! But I find distinct pleasure in both going out on my own, and going out with friends. At the movies we can giggle together about the cute actors and anything our depraved mind works up, on my own I can sit and just absorb the story and the sights without distraction. The meals, we can share good food and have a great conversation or I can sit and be off in my own little world as I enjoy the same good food without having to worry about dishes afterwards.
Neither is better than the other, they both have their perks and downsides.
Some of the problem with this is that when people usually ask why we do this, it’s said in a sort of pitying tone. You don’t come across that way to me, but when people comment on stuff like this in real life it’s like they are saying “well you poor thing. You’re here all on your lonesome, do you not have any friends that you have to stick your nose in a book/come on your own?” and yet with this snobbish undertone that reeks of “I’m glad I’m not that pathetic.” As a tried and true bookworm, I encounter this fairly often. Even from my own family who thinks a couple hundred books are ‘too many’.
I think this is the disconnect. Sharing is a great part of the experience. But sometimes I just want to sit there and absorb the experience. I like to share it with a friend, but I get just as much pleasure from just taking it all in without anyone there to distract me. Just differently as if someone was there.
I use my Cell Phone to hold the book open, or the edge of a plate (not the one I am eating off of) or something heavey enough. although I dont always bring a book, once the foods infront of me its usually gone is moments, when I am hungery I wolf my food and when I am just eating cause its the only chance I have I still usually put it down pretty fast.
I have a hard time concentrating on much of anything for a long time, unfortunately, most definitely reading. (So no *Moby Dick * for me!.. that’s in another thread, never mind, I don’t know how to link to it…) As far as the eating out alone/reading thing: I’d also have a very difficult time coordinating the reading and turning pages thing and eating. Seriously, navigating with knives and forks takes enough concentration.
I’ve always enjoyed eating out by myself and just sitting at the table looking around at my fellow diners (not staring) and eavesdropping (not obviously). I also check out how dirty or clean the restaurant is, how it’s decorated, etc. I like doing lots of things by myself: Starbucks, movies, dinner. It’s great, because you get to see what you want, eat what you want, you’re not on anybody’s schedule but your own (unless you made reservations, and even then I’m often about 20 minutes late, no biggie).
While I’m out, even though I’m alone, most of the time I’m open to brief conversations. If people seem like they want to talk to me, that’s cool. Talking to older people is my favorite. Least fave is guys who seem to want to put the moves on. Since it’s sometimes hard to tell with those guys, it can be tiresome to be polite. However most of the time, for the most part, people are very nice.
Sometimes, It depends on where I’m eating. If it is somewhat private, I usually bring something to read, like a book or a magazine. If it is very public, I get self-consous and don’t bring anything
I do all my reading on PDA so it’s ultra-convenient for me to read anywhere. If I set it to autoscroll, I can even read while I’m eating with both hands.
A book and a pen. Always not books as I go along, on the front inside covers. Library books, I jot notes down on the back of the replaceable leaf on the inside back cover where they stamp the return date.
I always have at least one book in my purse so I have access to interesting reading material a lot of the time. I like to read while waiting. I read in lines at various shops, before a movie or concert starts, at the doctor’s office, at restaurants, and sometimes even at traffic lights. I always slip a book in my golf bag because inevitably there’s some idiot in front us who takes forever to finish the hole. I don’t have a problem carrying on a conversation combined with intermittent reading. One of my favorite memories is spending an winter afternoon in our cabin with friends all lounging on each other and reading. I love to read!
I just moved recently, and one of the things I miss most about my old neighborhood is that we had a preponderance of outdoor cafe’s and bistro type places, perfect for spending away a lazy hour or two reading and relaxing outdoors. I didn’t have many days off when I could take advantage of them, but when I could spare the time sitting at one of the outdoor tables with a good book and some good eats was one sure way to put me in a high spirits for the rest of the day. Unfortunately my new neighborhood doesn’t have many places like that within walking distance, and somehow it just isn’t the same getting in my car and diving there.
I try to keep a book with me at all times, because you never know when you are gonna get stuck somewhere with nothing to do.