Wow. I must be pretty bland. There’s nothing that most people I meet tend to point out about me. Maybe I should try to be more interesting.
“Are you related to (famous athlete)”?
Har, har, I’ve never heard that one before. Yes I am related to someone who is a completely different race than me, and spells his surname differently.
I also get people saying that I look young quite frequently.
“Wow, your English is good!”
I got this more in Korea than I do here, although I do run into the occasional person who automatically assumes I’m an international student. I always feel like saying, “Thank you, yours isn’t too bad either.”
Alice, you have a lovely name. I have an aunt with the same first name. if any of the clueless idiots give you trouble send them my way, I will give them an attitude adjustment.
I get the gee you are really smart comment a lot. Then I come here and am humbled by some of the really smart people.
It keeps me from getting a swelled head.
I get this all the time and I have made comments like that back.
You crack me the hell up, Cervaise! 
For me, it’s usually:
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That I look like (a) Laurence Fishburne (I wish–that man is truly sexy); (b) Samuel L. Jackson, or (not too often) (c) Will Smith. (That I resemble either of these gentlemen has never been obvious to me, but it is something that people mention when they mention my looks at all.)
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Depending on how I’m talking that day (or at a particular moment in a particular day), that I have a Southern accent (happens only when I’m outside of the South, obviously, which is 90-some-odd % of the time). I’ve gotten “You must be from Alabama/Texas/Southern Virginia.” And once, Washington, D.C. I don’t recall that anyone who’s not from South Carolina has ever guessed South Carolina.
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Or, if my Gullah-influenced accent and speech pattern are noticeable, that I sound like I “could be from the islands.” Funny, since I generally speak that way only around my family and certain close friends.
When people call me short, I always tell them something like “My brain weighs me down.”
You’re from the North!
I look about four or five years older than I am (just turned 18) and the usual response is “wow, you look a lot older. You could totally get into nightclubs and stuff.”
Yeah, I could, but why bother?
“But you totally could!”
But why?
“Coz you so wouldn’t get carded!”
Go away, you’re wasting my oxygen.
And the smart thing comes up:
Person 1: So how does <random, trivial thing> work?
Me: <Explains in detail, picked up somewhere from a random text and filed away for later use>
P1: …Wow. You’re like a pit of useless knowledge!
Me: Well it wasn’t fucking useless if it answered your question then is it?
Usually Person 1 was in my friendship group. It occasionally became ‘useless pit of knowledge’ and I occasionally inflicted pain.
“Wow, you look just like Prince Edward - you could make loads of money from that”
-Well, I used to get that a lot - we don’t look so similar nowadays, but back when I used to get this a lot, my reply was always “and how?”
Gotta add to the list of people for whom it is “Wow, you’re tall.” Sometimes it’s “Wow, you’re thin”, and occasionally “Wow, you have long hair”. Surprisingly often, I am told that I have pianist’s hands, or that my hands are in some other way cool.
A few times I have been told that I look like Napoleon Dynamite. Not so sure I agree, but I plan to continue taking it as a compliment. 
I get “You sound English” quite a lot. Less often, I get “Why are you putting on that accent?” That never ends well.
If it comes up that I work at a college, many people say “Wow, you must love having summers off!” Lord knows I would if I did.
I dont mind so much when most new people I meet come up with “So, you’re english, right?” and then follow with some joke, because you can have something trully witty and clever to respond with and at that point they’ll either think you’re clever and verbose or realise that you get it all the time and apologise!
When I meet someone who’s got an obvious, ‘witty’ joke that can be made, I normally try and make light of it some other way. One of my student haunts round here is a bar called the Primary and my favourite barmaid is called Stella. (If that loses anything in translation, one of the most popular lagers here is Stella ‘Wifebeater’ Artois, just normally called Stella).
When I first met her, she introduced herself as Stella I smiled in the ‘obviously holding back a joke kind of way’.
“Go on, I’ve heard it all before…”, she said so I replied; “…no, I was just wondering whether it’s worth coming up with a Streetcar quip instead of the booze one, or if you’d just think I was gay for bringin up musicals…”. Seemed to work quite well, I always get served first in a queue!
My first name is Leah. Not Leia. People “misprounounce” it when they hear it. When I was younger and cheekier, I usually said something like “Do you see buns on my head? No? That’s because I’m not a princess from far far away.”
I have a nice, long, unpronouncable Ukrainian last name. 11 letters and only two vowels. The routine is almost always exactly the same. “Woah, I’m not even going to try to say your name”, followed by asking “Did you have trouble learning how to spell it when you were in Kindergarten?” Finally, they explain how people are always butchering their last name too, despite how simple it appears (yeah, I’m sure lots of people have trouble with “Smith”).
Anyone who knows either of my sisters says “You look just like her.” Which is odd because my two sisters do not look like each other at all.
I also get “You’re so pale” a lot.l
Name in a song… check.
“Are you sure you’re from Spain? You sound American.” Most often heard if I’m not tired and have been spending a lot of time with Americans. Given how easily and unintentionally I seem to acquire accents, I suspect that a few months in Edinburgh could get me remarks about men in kilts.
“Hey, your Spanish is very good!” Thank you, next time I renew my passport I’ll make sure to inform the Spanish government.
I’ve had several US immigration officers insisting that I had to line up with the US Nationals based on “not looking Spanish” (uh, we don’t look like Cantinflas, at least us chicks don’t), but I don’t quite think that INS or whatever they’re called now would agree.
I get the way skinny comments, and the short ones, and the “Wow, you look young!” all the time.
The tribeca!
The comment I get often that annoys me to no end is “Are those your real eyes?” WHAT??? If I’m tired and cranky I’ll just smile back, won’t even bother to reply. But often I’ll say “No I borrowed them before going out tonight”. I usually know what they mean but come on, ask the question properly, it’s all I ask