I actually wrote this on a local message board, where “A” and “B” are more sensible precautions.
I agree with all of this post. My brother took karate as a kid and the younger siblings of the class members often ran around bouncing balls and playing. As long as they didn’t interfer with the class, no one bothered about them. If the noise got out of control and the parents didn’t step in then the karate instructors would address the child and tell them what they needed to stop doing and what they could do instead. The kids in the class need to learn to concentrate no matter what distractions are going on around them.
I know you’re being facetious, but it makes your child seem like a spoilt brat. The fact that you ignored B. until your own child was on the stage, and then you called for silence would have bugged me if I had been there. I’d have been bitching about you afterwards, frankly. “Oh, and did you see Mr T? The second little Sophie steps out he’s all ‘Silence! We must have silence! My child cannot have her crart sullied by noise!’ I didn’t see him speak up when the other children were performing.” Of course, I’m a judgemental bitch so you probably couldn’t win with me either way.
When I was a child (lo those many,many years ago) and I wanted the attention of an adult who was engaged in a conversation, the procedure was: go to adult. Stand there, not saying a word, while conversation continued. If several sentences were exchanged without any notice being taken of my being there, start shifting from foot to foot. Sooner or later, one of the adults is going to ask me if I have to go pee. At which point I can say “No, Ma’am, but…” and go on with what I wanted to say to begin with.
The fact that your brother’s karate class was as poorly organized as this one was does not a lesson plan make. It’s just poor organization.
How does it make my child seem like a “spoiled brat” when it’s my action? T’were anybody acting “spoiled”, it was me. Seems you lost sight of cause and effect there.
Regardless, there is no freakin’ way in Hell that we would have ever allowed Sophie to bounce that ball more than once. No way: she’s brought up better than that.
Why should kids learn early on that they can just up and butt in to any conversation they please for any reason whatsoever? Anyway, it’s extremely annoying to be talking to someone about adult things and have their kid and all his/her friends butt in every two seconds. And completely preventable; children who are taught to wait their turn wait their turn.
Them’s the breaks. I’d rather she wait for an hour to watch a TV show at 5 than screech at me for using the printer when she wants it at 25.
Oh dear, I used to do that. And I remembering back, I wasn’t doing it to be annoying, I just really believed that ‘excuse me’ meant ‘pay attention to me NOW’.
I was, on reflection, an annoying loudmouth. I still can’t quite believe my parents didn’t abandon me to the wolves.
Yeah, but it’s the attitude from some adults that I’m talking about. I think it goes too deep for some people for them to ever admit it, but their prejudice against children is such that they simply can’t accept the fact that their friends who are parents don’t think it’s reasonable to tell their child, “Stay in your room and I don’t want to hear a word out of you.” Then the non-parent takes it upon themselves to give the child a smackdown, and then they come on a message board and crow about it. They sure showed that kid what their rank is in society: zero!
You say “butting in every two seconds” , but are you sure you’re not extrapolating that from the one time that a child approached, and you immediately tightened up, because even that one instance of breathing kid-air was too much for you? Children don’t have the same needs or attention span as adults. If you’re in their house, well, it’s their house, and they’re used to being able to ask mom or dad something if they have to. If they’re in your house, well, their parent(s) brought them, and the least you can do is be a gracious host and not treat them like a second-class citizen.
I honestly don’t see what could be so important that you can’t put it on pause for thirty seconds*. I don’t have kids, but in my own house, there have been many times when guests’ cell phones have rung, and I don’t object to them taking the call, because it’s either business or personal, and either way, they have to answer. I don’t sit there glaring, and then ask them, “Is anyone on fire?” and so forth. Then they finish the call and rejoin the convo. BFD.
And in some cases, it is never the kid’s turn.
*With some exceptions, of course. Like the time “Sarah” was talking about her husband walking out on her, and we really had to tell “Marcy’s” kids that we didn’t have time right then. Otherwise, though, we were pretty attuned to the kids bopping in and out, and it never occcured to any of us to tell them to get lost.
Heh. The “EXCUSE ME!” thing is like the kids who throw tantrums the main feature of which is repeated wailings of “PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE!” They’ve gotten that they need to say the magic word; what they haven’t gotten is that sometimes, the spell doesn’t work.
Actually, I’m quite sure I’m remembering the 6-year-old son of a woman I dated for four months this year, over many many instances. Usually a sweet kid; sometimes he would try to butt in to our adult conversation every twenty seconds (OK, two was an exaggeration) to ask things he already knew or should’ve known the answer to. I never handled it for his mom, of course; I always recognized that was her job, and she did it decently. Frankly I think it’s more tactful to shoot a glance at mom when it happens so that you can express your distaste for the fact that you can’t have a serious conversation with her, than to take over parenting duties. But also quite frankly I find it really irritating when I can’t enjoy adult time with my adult friends; their kids should know how to act because their parents should teach them. It shouldn’t have to be the parents’ friends’ job.
Of course, there’s no reason to make the kid wait an hour. Kids deserve a turn too, and you’re right that the issue can usually be dealt with quickly. Teach the kid to wait until a break in the conversation (or at least sit silently looking like there’s urgent news) and then say “Excuse me” to his/her mom and then ask the question. It’s not nice to the kid to make him/her wait all day, but it’s not nice to your friends to let your kids cut them off every half-sentence.
Well, okay; I can see how that would be aggravating. It’s just that, for me, it would have to rise to that level before I thought the kid was out of line. I like kids, I don’t have a problem with them being around, and frankly, I can’t understand the attitude that some people exhibit: that of “OMG nasty horrible child! Take it awaaaaayyyyyyy!” Even if they insist that that’s not how they really feel, some people do come off like that.
Well, I understand that. What irritates me in conversation is people trying to finish my sentences, or turning a debate into a blood match, but I’ve never had a kid do that, so kids are not usually a source of irritation for me.
Fair enough.
I don’t believe my brother’s karate class was poorly organised. Everyone learned - they had the youngest black-belt in the state in that class, and they won a lot of tournaments - and everyone had fun. The younger kids playing at the back of the hall rarely bothered the class, and if the teachers felt the behaviour of the younger kids was getting out of hand, they spoke up. Karate instructors carry a level of authority that few others do 
All in all, I’d say it worked out well, it made for a real family atmosphere.
Spoilt brats rarely make themselves. Parents who demand the world reorganise to accomodate their precious darlings make spoiled brats. I thought the way your portrayed yourself in the OP made you sound like that kind of parent but I’m happy to be wrong about it.
When I taught 4th grade to an especially immature class, this was exactly what I used. “Is there fire or blood? No? Then it can wait a minute. You’re inturrupting.” Except for that one time when there was blood…
I was at a book store. The woman in front of me had a horrid little child who wanted a book. She kept telling him “no, take it back.” He kept whining. And whining. And whining. I usually try to be a nice person, but I finally said: Jesus Christ lady, who’s in charge here?
She turned and gave me a glare and said: Excuse me?
That made me laugh - openly. I said: C’mon lady, you can’t win the battle of wills with a 5 year old - do you *really *think you can stare me down?
She turned away - the freaking kid got his book too.