My theory is that whatever the reason people have radically different experiences meeting people online vs. old fashioned ways. A lot of the variation may be due to geography, like a small town really has fewer eligible dates online dating than a big city.
Personally I have a hard time meeting new young single women in person. Not that they don’t like me, or I’m intimidated, etc., but I literally have a hard time finding them. When I do, it goes extremely well. In fact, I’m very amicable and almost everyone I meet male or female single or not finds me at least pleasant and most people like me.
Yet, my experience on mainstream online dating sites like Match, eHarmony, OKCupid, have been utterly horrible. I’ve actually never had so much as a back-and-forth ‘conversation’ one one of those sites.
I don’t know how to explain the complete disparity between my online and offline interactions or my online interactions and plenty of other people who are much more successful.
I just have chosen to ignore people’s well-meant advice to try online dating and focus more on trying to have more in-person encounters with women and it works pretty well.
The vast majority of people still spend their time physically interacting with people on a daily basis. At work, at school, in sports and other hobbies/pastimes. That is what is relevant to this discussion, the ubiquity of smartphones (and your snark) notwithstanding.
Even most of the texting, facebooking, etc that is going on involves people you know in real life, even if they are hundreds or thousands of miles away at the moment.
It’s not like I am some technologically backward yahoo. I have been on the internet long before the WWW (usenet) and have “known” people in the virtual world long before this was commonplace. But you know what, most of the people I know, and most of the people my nieces and nephews know (in their 20s) they know in real life. They went to school with them, they work with them, they volunteer with them, etc.
Based on my experience, at one those new fangled place called a computer store. That’s right, they think people will buy a computer to use at home !?!?! Go figure.
Well don’t know about a lot of these kind of locations but I’ve also gone for date at some places like OkCupid is the best of the no cost online relationship services and I would suggest providing it a try before deciding upon up with any of the pay websites. It seems to sketch more individuals who are spiritual and looking for a serious connection. but I also have something for you guys please check this maybe it could be helpful to you.
When I was in my 20s I met my wife in the next cubicle. When I became single again most of my coworkers were male and married and not interested in setting me up. All my female friends had odd ideas about what I would find attractive. I was able to find occasional fun but nothing long term. Met my current girl friend on Match. It was the first online date for either of us. I have no problem telling people how we met.
One possibility is letting people at your church know you’re looking. They may be able to set you up with someone.
Has anyone mentioned taking a course at the community college in the evening?
Your insistence on perpetuating something untrue, and acting like a jerk about it is tiresome. There are PLENTY of attractive people on online dating sites. There are also PLENTY of unattractive people on dating sites as well. And lots of shallow people looking for nothing more than a hookup. In other words, a fairly representative cross-section of society at large.
Met my other half via OkCupid, although truthfully we could probably have made time to get out more in meatspace, what with all the beauty pagents we weren’t winning and all.
If there’s still a stigma, it’s lost on me. I find it entertaining to answer the “How did you meet?” question with THE stereotypical geek answer: online. I always laugh when I say it. Could we be more clichéd?
Out of curiosity, how long have you been dating? I don’t know how long OKCupid has actually been online. I have dated three girls from that website in the past year, all attractive, including my current girlfriend.
And also, as to laughing about telling people about meeting online, I find your use of the word “meatspace” to be quite hilarious. That’s one of those modern-connoted words that makes me chuckle every time I read it.
Let’s see, my girlfriend is beautiful. 5-2. Pale blue eyes. Natural blonde hair. Perfect pale skin with a hint of freckles. Smart. An executive at a pharmaceutical company. 8 years younger than me.
Why would I be embarrassed that we met online? There is no way in hell we would have met randomly. Now we are in love.
Yeah, same here with my current girlfriend. The seriousness of the relationship is starting to get ratcheted up a couple notches.
That’s great for you and your man. I have two boys and my girlfriend has a son too, so its great to get them together to play as they are 7,7 and 10 years old. And we do that in meatspace.
This. All my Christian single male friends found women by going to a church that prioritized singles groups/activities. That occasionally meant they had to look outside their particular denomination for a church to attend, but the good thing about these larger singles-oriented churches is that they usually are pretty understanding about that.
And in all the singles-oriented churches I’ve been to, the odds were very good if you were male!
Facebook and texting are usually aimed at strengthening in-real-life connections, sure.
But people also go online to connect with strangers they intend to later meet offline. Between managing roommates, job-hunting, Meetup Groups, language partners, sports leagues, neighborhood blogs and buying/selling stuff, I’ve made dozens of connections in the last few years that were initiated online. Counting housemates, coworkers and my SO, 80% of my real-life social interaction was probably initiated online.
