Put the title in a spoiler box if you think your post could be a spoiler.
I’m in Iowa, in a library that was destroyed by a flood. I’m talking with a homeless woman who I’m hoping will help find my kidnapped son.
NOS4A2 by Joe Hill
I’ve just been taken prisoner by the German army and transported to the German interior via boxcars. My buddy Weary died on the way.
Slaughterhouse Five by Kurt Vonnegut, of course.
In order to rescue the children of loved ones, both those who are human and those are fae, from becoming permanent parts of the Wild Hunt one of the oldest and deadliest beings in faeriedom has made me nine years old again and sent me up against her equally ancient, dangerous and strange brother.
An Artificial Night by Seanan McGuire
I’m fighting to defend myself from some mysterious kidnapper assassins from out-Kingdom, who are also attempting to kidnap my girlfriend, the daughter of the King’s Own, Nikolas.
Intrigues, by Mercedes Lackey.
I’m in a meeting considering the implications of ingredients, nutritional labels and marketing aimed at children by Kraft.
Salt, Sugar, Fat: How the Food Giants Hooked Us by Michael Moss
I’ve just escaped from Hell, and am hunting down the bastards who sent me there. (Sandman Slim by Richard Kadrey)
After our party barely escaped from a small army of pursuers trying to kill or capture me, I’m on a riverboat heading towards the next stop of my journey. Two of my companions are with me, I have no idea yet what happened to the others.
The Eye of the World, by Robert Jordan
I’m a reluctant teacher at a small academy for mentally ill kids.
The Crazy School by Cornelia Read.
I’ve been drafted by agents from an alternate timeline, who are trying to stop a possible disaster that could destroy many of these alternates, including both theirs and mine. Currently exploring the ruins of Paris in yet another alternate - the one that seems to be the centre of the gathering doom.
Assignment in Nowhere, by Keith Laumer.
Also, I’ve just returned to London from my ranch in South America, and have gone to visit with my good friend Hercule Poirot.
The A.B.C. Murders, by Agatha Christie.
Great series 
I’ve just led a failed assault on a Nazi research facility that has created ‘supermen’ - psychics, telekenetics etc. We were teleported there and back by ‘demons’ being manipulated by British warlocks.
Bitter Seeds(Milkweed Tryptich #1) by Ian Tregillis. It’s an alternate history WW2 series. Pretty good so far.
I’ve just tried unsuccessfully to rescue a knight imprisoned in a castle on the River Ebro. Now my companion has introduced me to a Duchess who has read the first book and is a fan of my adventures.
Don Quixote
I’m finished with school for the year, in Mill Walk. I’m preparing to spend the summer months in Eagle Lake, Wis.
I’m in a place called Calla Bryn Sturges with a former heroin addict, a 13-year old boy, a black woman with a history of multiple personality disorder - who is also a double amputee, and an ancient cowboy with two fingers missing from his dominant hand. Also on hand are a priest who has at different points been killed and bitten by a vampire, and an animal with rudimentary speaking abilities that looks like a cross between a raccoon and a possum.
We’re trying to save the children of this town. Half of them will be kidnapped and “roont” if we’re unable.
I’m rereading Wolves of the Calla, book 5 of the Dark Tower series, by Stephen King.
My royal family is preparing to move to another planet. A desert planet. My mom’s nasty witchy friend just stuck a poisoned needle against my neck and my hand in a box. Everybody’s using really strange words.
Yes, I’m re-reading Frank Herbert’s Dune. One of these days I’ll figure out spoiler tags.
Spoiler tags are pretty easy. It’s <spoiler></spoiler>, only substituting for <>.
Let’s see. Anton Gorodetsky and the formerish Witch, Irina, are flying first-class to Taiwan to meet a guy who can tell them how it is possible to defeat a Tiger/Executioner of Prophets.
I’m passed out on a bench in the garden, sick to death of consciousness, having suffered through a crisis of being.
Thomas the Obscure by Maurice Blanchot.
Thank you! I’d missed out on the “/”.
I’m a member of the Earth Liberation Front and I’ve just entered a guilty plea for arson and am being charged as a terrorist.
Green is the New Red by Will Potter
Oh hey! It worked! First spoiler yo!
I can’t freaking believe you posted this. I was there last week, but right now I’m talking to an older version of you about some murders that happened a long time ago.