Males have been using violence to control female sexuality long before we walked upright. Male chimps will sometimes violently beat up female chimps who don’t do as they please or who are known to fuck other males. The reason why lots of chimp sex occurs in private is not due to prudishness, but due to the fact that one or more partner might be at risk of damage from another partner.
The reason why males are more violent and controlling of female sexuality overtly in most non-human primates that have such things is that they do not have paternity certainty, while the females do. Male chimps and baboons (and others) will sometimes form ‘consortships’ with females where they will take them off on a ‘honeymoon’ type thing and try to have exclusive sexual contact with this. Male chimps enforce this with violence on occasion (I’ve seen pictures of the females–it ain’t pretty), while male baboons have a harder time controlling the females.
Not to say that women don’t control sexuality to a degree, but based upon what I’ve seen and studied, I say that older, powerful males were the most influential ones in creating sexual taboos. There are those inborn such an incest (which males are more likely to break and females more likely to enforce), but a lot of it just comes out of the culture that develops. The reason why certain taboos develop depends on the cultural conditions.
Older, powerful males don’t just control female sexuality, but young male sexuality. There is a reason why circumcision in a lot of cultures happens not at birth but at puberty–its a great way to knock your competition out of the way. Young males may be forced into armies, or placed in schools, or sent on ‘manhood’ quests and other things designed to keep them away from women.
As for older women unable to stop their husbands from philandering:
One, we lived in small tribes were it wasn’t too easy to philander around. Not that people didn’t, but the likely hood that men were having lots of children they couldn’t support was very unlikely.
Two, human babies require A LOT of attention and supervision. Not to mention that, due to our long lactation and interbirth period, males gain a ton from committing infanticide and hooking up with a female who can produce more children. Just like with capuchin monkeys, human males have a vested interest to stick around with a female who has produced children with them for long enough until the child becomes self-sufficient. Not only does he have more paternity certainty, but he also can protect that child from other males. Human females also have concealed ovulation which makes it more difficult for a man to philander around and be genetically successful.
Three, women may use less physical violence, but women do have ways to stop males who are acting annoying through social pressures.
Four, why do you assume that an older male is more likely to have sexual partners compared to an equally aged female? Such constructions only develop in certain type of societies and were not true for most of our evolutionary history.
I see a lot of you assuming that males desire sex more. There is no evidence to back that up.
Females can gain a lot from promiscuity. It is advantageous for a woman to have sex with multiple men–not only to produce offspring, but also for the other benefits gained. It’s just in their best interest to not get caught doing so.
Repression of sexuality does not lead to more enlightened societies and less cheating. If that were true, we wouldn’t see all these republicans caught in sexual scandals and the most conservative states having the highest porn subscriptions. The fact of that matter is, that life-long bonds with one partner are very, very rare and have been. We are a species that tends towards monogamy–but its serial monogamy. It was the capitalistic system that required people to move very far from their families that resulted in less than ideal child raising situations. A strong bond between two biological parents who raise one child consistently is not necessary or as good as a whole small tribe of interrelated individuals who all take an interest to a child and teach him/her.
For evidence that human males are very interested in controlling female sexuality, just look at who commits honor killings. Look at who reacts more publicly to females in revealing clothing. Look at all-male or mostly male message boards where any female who expresses interest in sexuality is labeled a slut/whore. I could go on.