Where has the intelligent conversation gone?

When I found this message board I thought I’d found nirvana. Here was a place offering what I most craved: intelligent conversation without the hassles of being hit on or pestered with porn. Recently, however, I’ve watched the board fall into the tired pattern of guys standing around talking about T and A.

I was dismayed that posters congratulated the man who wrote in graphic detail about wanting to fuck the young teenaged girls he saw on the subway. I hoped it was a phase that these types of threads were popular.

However, now it seems like every third thread has something to do with sex and women’s bodies: “Who Has the Nicest Breasts?”, “Teenaged Girls Turn Me On”, “Follow These Directions to see PORN!”, “Girl’s Shirt Says Touch My Belly so I’m Writing a Thread about Groping Her Tits!” and so forth.

This is the shit women deal with daily: to some men, we are only worth the desirability of our bodies. If our bodies are deemed desirable, the attention we receive is actually often disrespectful. If our body parts are not found to be pleasing, we are dismissed and invisible. I liked coming here because this was a place where I could escape that scrutiny and judgment. In fact, my worth would be based on my intelligence and wit.

Yes, sex is natural, and should be comparable to threads on natural bodily functions. Indeed, I am not suggesting that talking about sex is wrong. No one is put down or objectified in a thread about bowel movements or sexual positions for a couple of contrasting height. But when I see thread after thread of men salivating about naked women and hooting like monkeys at the idea of touching them, or demanding a “cite” when a woman poster mentions her body or the body of another woman, I feel disgusted and disappointed.

This place is supposed to be for everyone, a place for intelligent conversation. There are plenty of places online that cater to horny people.

I realize this post will not win me any friends but I don’t care. I’ve been visiting this board for a few years now and I don’t feel I should have to give it up because a group of posters can’t think past their dicks.

Isn’t it usually (not always, I’ll grant you) somewhat apparent from the titles of threads that they will be about sex and women’s bodies? Who has the most perfect breasts in Hollywood? is quite obviously going to be about sex and women’s bodies. Extra Teeth is unlikely to be about sex and women’s bodies. Open the ones that aren’t about sex and women’s bodies, and let the horny people have their sex threads (as long as they label them properly). To be fair, I haven’t really noticed a trend towards more sex threads, but I also tend to subconsciously ignore them for the most part.


plain_jane, I remember those types of threads from the first day I began lurking here. (Well over a year now.) They’re usually accurately labelled, as lel states, and easy enough to skip by.

I also don’t think they’re as omnipresent as you seem to have the impression they are. I tend just to not read them. Well, unless the title really catches my eye.

And - the thread about the girls on the subway actually had in among the garbage some fairly good discussion about desires and self-restraint. The teenagers will always be with us; just tune them out.

You haven’t lost my high regard due to your OP.
Although my irritation is much broader. You seem to focus on the sexist nature of many OP’s, but there is a lot of other fol de rol on the SDMB these days.
I was amazed when I stumbled into the SDMB because some very smart people posted here, and some important topics were addressed. I saw plenty of fart threads on other boards. I was comforted when I saw posters admonishing others to spell things correctly. None of us get everything right, but some of the spelling/grammar on other boards is excruciating.
I don’t think there’s any solution to it though. The tone on the boards can be raised if, and only if, people believe in it. Obviously, many do not care. Thus we will continue to see numerous puerile OP’s.
Farts, pus,pimples,masturbation and retarded sexual ramblings will continue to be posted.
My solution: I don’t open threads given idiotic titles. <shrug>

Please bear in mind that schools out right now and many of the … shall we say … disturbing threads should dry up in under a week when the kids under a little more control.

Stick with us a few more days, and I’m sure things will lighten up in due course. Oh, if there was a thread saying “Follow These Directions to see PORN!”, then did you notice the speed it was closed down? That’s one of the gret things here.

Indeed Tapioca Dextrin!
The active moderation of the boards is really great.
On a woodworking board I belong to the moderators never do a damn thing. It’s annoying because troll posts are common there.
Here at least, posters must conform to some rules.

Trolls on a woodworking board? What, do they extol the virtues of particle board, then run away? :slight_smile:

“Fibreglass rulez!”

It’s the school holidays and hopefully some of our more idiotic prolific posters will be back in school soon or banned. It happens every holidays.

This too will pass and in the meantime be careful what you open.

may I also suggest a bit of forum jumping? although sexuality does get discussed in GD and GQ, it’s rarely the “dija see the bazooombaas on that one” type of thing.

one other point - damn near everything here is cyclacle.

for a while everything’s about religion, or politics or whatever. I’ve been non-line for about a week. Last I remember, there were multiple threads that were complaints about how many “ask the…” threads there were. This week it’s tits.

Different strokes for different strokes. Some people like to have a debate on morals, politics, religion, etc, then head over to MPSIMS and have a nice chat about the gender they find appealing.

Seems to me you are expecting everybody on a message board that comprises of 25,000 registered users to be 100% mature, intellectual boring sops that talk about economics and engineering all day and have their nose so far up in the sky that the idea of being human is downright disgusting. Oh, pish, look again, that neanderthal male is talking about sexual relations again, how downright pedestrian!

Please! Get your head out of your ass and realize that even intellectual adults like to throw off the scarfs of elitism and talk about… ADULT topics.

Doh, meant different strokes for different folks. (fokes?)

I think the young girls picked all the intelligent conversation long ago.

When will they ever learn?

And I thought “Cyclacal” was a low calorie anti-constipation remedy.
We must really have substantive discussions rather than these dreadful rants.

To lel and wring (who suggested thread skipping and forum skipping, respectively): I do leave unopened many of the threads in question. And unfortunately, if I were to skip forums altogether, I would be missing out on some of my favourites! And wring you are also correct in pointing out to me that we seem to have a run of popular themes.

Forbin said: "…my irritation is much broader. You seem to focus on the sexist nature of many OP’s…many do not care…Farts, pus,pimples,masturbation and retarded sexual ramblings will continue to be posted."

I appreciate what you have said–I also feel the same way about this board. Although I certainly wouldn’t want it to be the mainstay here, I actually don’t mind the bodily function threads. Some are interesting (like the woman with the huge boil on her face that had to get an operation.) My concern is whether or not anyone was objectified or put down in the process. Much like people expressing unease about the race threads of late.

Epimetheus said: …you are expecting everybody…to be 100% mature, intellectual boring sops that talk about economics and engineering all day and have their nose so far up in the sky that the idea of being human is downright disgusting…Get your head out of your ass and realize that even intellectual adults…talk about… ADULT topics.

No, I never said I think being human is disgusting. In fact, I said sex is natural and should be treated as such.

It’s the T and A talk that bothers me: there are places online for horny people. It’s one-sided: I see a lot of straight guys posting about how they’d like to do things to women’s bodies, or rating them, but I don’t see a comparable number of threads or posts by lesbians on the same topics, or posts by women or the gay male members who would like to rate and do things to men’s bodies.

I don’t have my head up my ass because I don’t want to hear about how some guy would like to go up to a young woman in a mall and grab her tits. All that talk does is remind me that all women are vulnerable because of our gender.

It’s in my pants.

“All that talk does is remind me that all women are vulnerable because of our gender.”

As someone who occasionally participates in the threads you find so offensive, I don’t feel particularly vulnerable because of my sex. I like talking about that stuff occasionally. Most of it is just lighthearted fun, nothing too deep. It’s all part of participating in messageboards.

So? If there was an equal number of threads about lesbians asking who is the hottest chick in Hollywood, or about gay men talking about wanting to squeeze George Clooney’s butt would the straight guy threads about T&A all the sudden stop bothering you?

And you also got to ask what’s the ratio on the board between Straight Guys, Gay Guys, Straight Women and Gay Women, if there are ten times as many straight guys as gay guys it would be only natural for there to be 10 times the number of straight guys lusting threads then gay guy lusting threads, applies the women as well.

Then don’t hear about it, stay away from the threads, as has been mentioned they tend to be rather clearly titled and in the cases they aren’t what they are becomes apparent rather quickly, no need to stick around.

And yes women are vulnerable to being lusted at by straight guys because of their gender please excuse the wiring.

On the one hand, I’m sorry the boards aren’t meeting your rigorous intellectual standards, plain_jane. On the other hand, welcome to the human species. For good or ill, this is the way we act. Learn to deal.

I’d also like to point out that even if every other thread on the SDMB was a sophmoric sex thread, it’d still have 50% less sexual content than practically any other site on the web.