A friend of mine was diagnosed with breast cancer and my response to her was, “OMG that’s not fair”. She had three young boys under seven and everything to live for.
She looked at me, serenely, and said, “But life isn’t fair! Life is just life”.
It seems so simple really, but in this era of entitlement, and everyone seeming to believe that justice and fairness matter in every case, it was profound.
It has altered my life in that I never ask, “why me?” I ask instead, “why not me?”
I changed my mind. Reading “In Defense of Food” completely changed the way I looked at eating and nutrition, and made my life much easier. I used to struggle with my weight (successfully, but it was still a pain), and I no longer find it difficult or a matter of denying myself to maintain a healthy weight.
Other than that, lots of books have given me a lot to think about and probably all of the above have shaped who I am, but that’s had the biggest direct practical impact on my thinking.
The three most important things my Dad has taught me, in scant order (of importance, or chronologically):
Hearing protection is no joke.
The thing about a tank is…anything that flies can kill it.
When writing fiction, the important thing is “conflict.” You can’t have a story where everyone just gets along with each other all the time.
As a writer, that last one has really stuck with me. It’s true enough by itself, but it’s also something that’s made me really think about the subject, which is just as important, or even moreso. That’s done me nothing but good, and I’m eternally grateful for it.
Weeping over a boyfriend who had dumped me in the middle of the cafeteria, my Biology teacher, Mr. B, took me aside and said, “Darlin’” (he’s Southern), “There’s no sense crying over something you can’t change.”
It took awhile for the words to sink in, but he was absolutely right. You ultimately do yourself more harm than good by lamenting things you have no control over. Might as well focus on what you CAN change. Like who you picked as your boyfriend.