I woke up with a hangover the size of manhatten, and decided one day last october that I didn’t want to live like that. I was using alcohol to obliterate all the bad things in my life, as a way to ignore the downs and live up the ups.
I wanted to be a part of my (then 12, now 13 year old) son’s life, rather than apart from it.
I wanted to give back to the man who has stuck beside me as my spouse all this time, worrying about me, but letting me handle my problems on my own. I woke up one day, and wanted to BE something, rather than just letting life live itself around me. I woke up that morning thinking to myself, “if I died today, what would people have to say about me?” and I didn’t like the answer I gave myself.
I wanted to show my two best friends in the whole world that I was worthy of their friendship. I wanted to be an example of goodness, forgiveness, and love, rather than someone who needed to apologize for saying the wrong thing in a drunken stupor all the time.
Last October, I woke up, and I didn’t like my world, so I tried to change it.
I dumped the wine and the whiskey, a staple of my diet since 1999. I started excercising. The day I made that decision, I was a snug size 22. I write to you today at a comfortable size 16, in less than a year. Sorry, can’t give you the pounds lost.
I -believe- I was at 250, and am now 180, but don’t quote me. I hate scales.
I still drink at parties, and that’s ok. But I don’t pick up a bottle without knowing full well what my intention is, and making a verbal contract with myself that I will not get so out of whack that I risk my weight loss, or my sanity. That I will not fall into patterns that got me in trouble for 8 years of my life. That I will treat the people I love with respect, and with the responsibility and protections that are owed to them by me.
I am happier, healthier, and I lost weight besides. My son is a joy, and one that I will never again look back upon this life and say that I missed. My husband is the best, and I will never again look back upon this life and regret missing any of his witty comments or movies that we share, because I was too drunk to remember. My two best friends are still my best friends, and I will never again wake up wondering if I said something to offend them because I was out of my wits the night before, and I can be an example to them and help them through their own trials.
These people are my family, and the best thing in the world that I could do for them, I did.
Coincidentally, my weight was a big part of the reason I drank. Uncoincidentally, dumping alcohol from my diet helped obliterate that. I look in the mirror and see a sexy, middle aged woman, who still needs work, but is totally at peace with her physical and mental health.
It is amazing what a wake up call can do, and I encourage anyone with doubts to listen to their wake up call for one month, and take up the challenges. Those others in this thread who have lost weight said it best, and I will further summarize: each pound gone is a gift and a success, and each gained is simply a hurdlle. You learn to love the successes and ignore the failures, and you’ve got it licked, I swear.