Let’s see if we can figure out the most frequent sources of life changing advice. For those of you who spend endless hours looking for answers to life’s problems, maybe this will help narrow your search.
Important Note: I’m not talking about technical advice. Not about where you learned how to unscrew a broken light bulb with a potato. By “life changing” advice I mean advice that actually changed your beliefs and made you a different person. Something that made you change your habits and made you interact with the world differently. So getting advice on a really good software program would not be “life changing” within the meaning of this poll. But if someone told you something that made you stop drinking, then that would count.
I don’t think anyone has ever told me something, advice-wise, that changed my outlook like you’re talking about. I’ve had experiences that did that, but words? Not that I can think of.
I already voted, but was the OP thinking of direct advice? Because if you were I’ve screwed up your results. I was thinking more of people that have changed me by who they are, rather than just what kind of advice they’ve given me.
No “Advice Columnist”? I don’t know about “life-changing”, but I’ve definitely had my perspective on certain issues either shaped or changed by some of them, like Dan Savage and Carolyn Hax.
I had Graduate-like moment when I first hired on with Pacific Bell in 1978. I had only been in the office a couple of weeks when my second-level manager told me, “ESS (Electronic Switching Systems) is the place to be.” I heeded her advice, and I live a pretty comfortable life today because of the training and experience that career path provided.
TBH, I believe no one could change someone without the latter deciding to change his mind. That said, I have been bombarded with all sort of advice, but it takes a combination of events, bad luck and some self reflection before I decide “Crap, I got to stop whatever I am doing and pay some attention to what they are saying”
The most valuable thing I have consistently done in my life has been to develop the friendships of the elderly folks in my environs. Whether at work or in the neighborhood (and yes, I once worked with a 75yo woman who schlepped files home every night to do overtime at her dining room table) I have learned the most when I patiently listened to the stories they had to tell, and the advice they were eager to share. I haven’t used all of it, but even the decision not to go that way has required valuable analysis which I might not otherwise have done.*
In terms of the poll, I have classified these people as “friends” but that really doesn’t begin to describe their role in my life.
*I find myself, now, living in fear that Skald will start a thread about my long parens and convoluted sentences. . .
One on studying in school: Your time is like a bookshelf, no matter how much you have, you’ll always have more books than will fit. The gist being: Go to bed at a reasonable hour, your time spent studying will be more effective if you’re rested.
Another just recently, in a Stephen King book:
“Control your anger or your anger will control you.”
Believe it or not, one such time for me was with a motivational speaker that came to my high school. He was ostensibly a clown and he showed us many funny things and several magic tricks. But he had a message that clicked with me and changed the direction I was headed. (Mostly into depression and loneliness.) just remember, people like donuts.
Upon receiving my commission as an Army Officer, the Army sends all new LT’s to OBC. We learn all the specifics about whatever branch you are assigned to and learn the new job. Early on in the school, one of our classes was taught by an O-6 Colonel, Vietnam Vet.
I don’t know if he had a lesson plan, but he spent four hours talking about his experiences (good and bad) during his military career. One of the things he said that really stuck out to me was this: “Men, you are officers now. Soldiers will live and die by your orders. You better know what you’re doing or people will die.” That really made me pay attention. He said lots of neat things that made me change my outlook in many ways. I think it has helped me out many years after my military career.
I was in a PhD program in biology. After nearly a year of never having a single day of positive results (nothing worked, ever, not once), two fairly senior postdocs from my sibling lab (we all had lab meeting together) took me aside. They told me that while they didn’t feel comfortable saying anything in lab meeting because they didn’t want to publicly criticize the head of my lab, they felt that I absolutely had to get a new project, that my current one was technically unfeasible and would never, ever go anywhere. Perhaps this falls under your category of ‘technical advice,’ but it led me first to a feeling of massive relief (it’s not my fault! it’s not just that I’m a bad scientist!), then to probably clinical depression when my adviser wouldn’t let me change projects, and ultimately a new project when I flatly insisted after kind of going on strike for a while. It was probably the single most important piece of advice I’ve ever gotten.
Of course, I ended up getting sick right as the new project got off the ground, and I was booted from the program after being on medical leave for too long, but that’s another story.
I have ended up taking a piece of wisdom from many people around me that has carried me through many situations, sometimes only as a way of consoling my own fears and or insecurities at the time. Something as simple as “Experience is what you have right after you need it” makes taking on a new job, trade, or doing anything new, a heck of a lot less stressful.
I was thinking more of people that have changed me by who they are, rather than just what kind of advice they’ve given me.