Go on, give me some life advice. You know you want to.

In My Humble Opinion
1

TL;DR - I’m considering abandoning a relatively successful career in consultancy and plans to start a business with a friend to go back and do a PhD in a couple of years, when I’ll be 36. Crazy plan or not?

This could be a relatively long post, so apologies in advance - but on the other hand, there are few things more beloved by the dope than giving out life advice, some of which has been very good indeed, and thought-provoking at the very least.

As I mentioned some time ago, I’m a sort of accidental IT consultant. I started out thinking I’d get into physics, but switched to computer science for a Master’s, which was definitely the right decision - I wouldn’t have enjoyed pushing myself into physics as a career. Since I paid for the MSc myself, I was left with a relatively large student loan to pay back (UK degrees were much more expensive for foreigners than for residents at the time when I did this MSc) and started looking around for a job. I landed a job at the company where I am now, did 4 years there, moved to another (much larger) firm for a couple of years and am now back at the old firm. While I’ve learnt a lot and enjoyed a great deal of my consultancy career, a few things have happened recently that are making me think.

Probably the biggest ponderment-inducing event was a trip to CERN in September, when they had an open day. (Why yes, you can be jealous - we walked around in the LHC tunnel and around the detectors, and got a chance to talk with a great many scientists and technicians who work there. It was totally, amazingly awesome!). I was excited about the trip, but didn’t really expect to have the level of epiphany that I did - it was quite literally the single most momentous realisation I’ve had in a very, very long time: this was the kind of place I belonged. I called my dad the same day and he said “I haven’t heard you sound so excited about something in years” - and he was right.

So that’s made me realise that my time in consultancy is certainly limited; I’m not seeing this as a long-term option for what I want to do. I’m clear about this, but I don’t also want to leap out into something else without a bit of planning - I’m quite happy to sit quietly for a year or two, looking at options and getting all my ducks in a line. I’m not unhappy at my job, but looking up the ladder and along the line (how’s that for a mixed metaphor?) I just don’t think it’s what I really want to do. Without blowing my own trumpet too much, I know I’m pretty good at it; my colleagues and clients respect me and I could easily get into a management position in a few years, with relatively secure employment.

So this is where it gets complicated. About a year ago (well before the CERN trip), a friend and I had the chance to do some part-time work for his fiance’s company, and that led up to the idea of us setting up a company together. What was originally just set up to make billing easier and more professional has become a much larger dream - the idea was to take it full-time when we had a bit more of a client pool, but it’s taken longer and been much tougher than expected. He was very unhappy at his previous job, so a few months ago he quit that to focus on the pre-launch activities of the business. I should say that he was planning to quit the job anyway, so it just brought that forward a bit, rather than being a total and sudden change. However, I’ve since realised that I’m not long for this consultancy business, and also, he’s much keener to run his own business than I am, and he’s also financially in a more stable position, so can take more of a risk.

I do feel that pulling out of this after all this planning and preparation isn’t quite fair, but to be honest, I also feel that going ahead would just saddle him with a business partner whose heart really isn’t it in any more, and that would also be unfair. I’d be treading water until I can get out, and I might as well tread water in a safer place (albeit with potentially less money to show for it at the end). He’s very bullish about our prospects, but I think the last few months have already shown that optimistic projections aren’t necessarily going to be met by reality. He’s also more open to playing the consultancy game than I am; I’m quite happy with a “here’s who we are, this is what we can do for you, we think we’ll give you good service at a fair price” approach, whereas he’s more about the salesmanship and the persuasion. I think this is going to increasingly become a problem between us, because I think his exaggeration is sometimes borderline unethical, and I’d rather be honest and lose business than exaggerate and win. I know that’s naive, but I’ve been in this business long enough to know that we won’t make a killing by being straightforward, and I rather fear he isn’t going to be very happy with this approach.

So, having made it this far through this novel, do you have any advice / insight / thoughts you can offer me? I might be a little slow to respond over the next few days because I’m travelling for work, but I’ll try to get back as soon as I can. I haven’t told my business partner about this yet, because I want to clear things up in my head before speaking with him. What should I do re: telling him? Am I hopelessly naive romantic who should just suck it up and forget my PhD plans? Am I a complete bastard to think of ditching my partner at this point in the process? I can’t claim to appreciate the blunt straightforward approach without taking some myself, so please don’t hold back - if nothing else, it’ll give me something to think about, and thanks in advance!

2

I’m currently a Ph.D. student (basically Classics/Linguistics, but I’ve worked with a lot of science people), and I’d be happy to give you advice on the Ph.D. side of things, but it would give me somewhere to get started if you could give me an idea of what field(s) you’re considering, what kind of schools you think you could get into, what you’re hoping to get out of doing the degree, and what you’re looking to do afterwards.

3

What is your current role in the company? Would dissolving the partnership leave your friend high and dry, or is there a way you might be able to wean someone else into your role?

Do you have a financial investment that might be forfeited?

Would you be prepared to have the friendship break up over this?

I’m sure there’s more questions…I’ll think of them later!

4

Why can’t you do both? Keep the job and get the PhD, just half-ass each

5

Oh, I thought you were just going to ask for general life advice. Just because you can doesn’t mean you should! Wear sunscreen! Eat vegetables and fibre! :slight_smile:

6

You’re currently working at a consultancy firm and at your friend’s business. Is it unthinkable that you can combine the Phd and you’re friend’s business?

You say you won’t start the Phd for another couple of years. Seems to me enough time to either find a replacement or let him prepare to do the business by himself.

If I were you I would go and do your Phd if that is what makes you happy.

ETA: Drink plenty of water every day!

7

Thanks! I’m looking primarily at computer science - something in data processing or perhaps computational physics seem to be the most likely options at the moment. I’m almost certainly going to be doing this in the UK, for a variety of reasons, and I think the the primary thing I’m hoping to get out of the degree is a level of engagement and intellectual challenge that I haven’t had in many years at my job. I think the obvious step afterwards would be to try to get into research - either in industry or in academia, but I’m unsure which one it would be. Any advice or insights you can give me would be appreciated.

Currently the company has two people - my friend, who I’ll call Keanu, and me. We’re both equal partners and shareholders, with no immediate plans to bring anyone else in. The plans that we’re making are very dependant on both of us being involved, so it’s very likely that he’d be left high and dry. It’s hard to see how we’d find someone else that who had the technical skills who Keanu would also trust to work independently as a partner.

Not a huge amount - there’s some money saved in the company, but since it was a consultancy firm, we had next to no investment to get started. If I had to abandon the money that I’d made for the firm, I’d be disappointed but it’s not a life-changing amount, really. It would certainly be useful to have, but it’s small enough that I could let it go and move on.

This is something I have considered, and if it’s the way it goes, I’m prepared for that. I wouldn’t be happy about it, but I’d accept it as the price of the decisions I made.

These are exactly the kind of questions I need! Thanks.

I did consider this option, but it’s going to be more than a full-time job just getting a new business off the ground; I know it’s going to involve a lot of travel and commitment, and starting a PhD at the same time would just be crazy mental. Also, my residence status in the UK will change in 2015, meaning I’ll be eligible for much more PhD funding, so I wouldn’t consider doing it before that.

Hah. If anything, there’s more stuff I don’t do but I should! I will, however, take your point about sunscreen, and being vegetarian means there’s already lots of vegetables in my diet. Must up the fibre quotient, thanks. :wink:

I think combining a PhD with anything would be a disaster; I’ve lived on the inside of one with an ex, and it was pretty full-on without trying to work part-time on the side. I also think (and worry) that quitting my current job for two years of running a start-up will leave me with very little in the way of savings, and I’d leave before we realise much benefit from owning a business. I don’t plan to start the PhD immediately because of residency issues and funding (as noted above), and saving for two years will give me that much more of a financial cushion to fall back on when I’m reduced to being a peniless student again.

I aim for 2 litres a day - unless I’ve had a long workout at the gym, in which case it might increase!

8

Considering you’re looking at doing a PhD in computer science, and that’s what my pursuit was in, I can give you my perspective. Yes, I enjoyed the course work quite a bit, even as busy as I was, I loved the intellectual challenge, but in the end, that wasn’t enough to finish my thesis. A PhD, particularly in something like computer science, shouldn’t be pursued lightly; it needs to be something you’re truly passionate about to dedicate that kind of time to. In the end, I decided finishing my PhD wasn’t worth it because I didn’t have aspirations to teach or do high level research, so I was putting myself through hell and not really getting any benefit beyond the satisfaction of learning.

So, before pusuing a PhD, I’d really recommend actually seeing how it aligns with your career goals. If it’s not necessary, I’d suggest not doing it. And if you do want the intellectually challenge, that’s no reason not to find other ways to do it. There’s no reason not to pursue some other sort of degree casually, or perhaps even finding a non-academic way of expanding your mind, perhaps as simple as just finding books or lectures on those sorts of topics.

9

That’s a very good, if sobering, point. I have thought about doing a PhD for quite a long time now, and got a lot of support for the idea from my MSc lecturers and project supervisor. Things didn’t pan out at the point for financial reasons, but it’s always lurked at the back of my mind as something to pursue. I have taught at the school level and been a teaching assistant for undergrads during the MSc, so I know I enjoy teaching; it was always something I’d wanted to come back to. I am also quite clear after speaking to friends and family who work in academic or industrial computer science research that my future career will lie much more in that direction than in consulting, and a PhD is all but essential for pursuing those options. I appreciate the note of caution, but I think I’m doing this for the right reasons, with relatively wide-open eyes.

I also take your point about getting intellectual challenge in other ways, but I’ve seen over the last few years that it’s quite hard to work full-time and pursue a degree, even if casually. I’ve done several courses from Coursera and other online providers, and enjoyed them hugely, but haven’t always been able to keep up with the required schedule. I have nothing but admiration for people who manage to do that, but I’m not convinced that I could get anything more than a bit of dabbling around the edges without more time and more structure.

May I ask what your PhD was in, and what led you to do it?

10

The one permissible bump just in case anyone else feels inspired to respond to this… :slight_smile:

11

My first and knee-jerk reaction was that you were crazy to even be thinking about pursuing this business that your heart is not fully into, with a PhD possible in your future.

Now look. Some people make it huge in business, no doubt about it. Those people are pretty few and far between! And the ones that do have an incredible amount of drive behind them. But drive won’t guarantee your business, either.

Many, many people sy that you can never really be independently wealthy without a business. I say, OK, fine, I give up that and instead will work at my 9 to 5 job and have a steady paycheck and food on the table, and go home at the end of the night without worry.

A business takes up all of your time. You don’t get to check out at 5, or 6, or 7. You go home after the business closes and work on the books. My aunt ran three moderately successful bagel shops and they were a pain in her ass.

Now if after all this you said “But I really WANT to do this,” I would tell you to go ahead! We only live once after all. But you don’t even seem that invested. I would be honest with my friend and tell him you just don’t think you can give the drive and motivation this rightfully needs. He may get mad at you, that depends on what kind of man he is and what kind of friendship you have. But it’s better for him to know now than later when your finances are all intertwined.

My two cents - take it for what it’s worth!

12

Sometimes 2c is the best advice! And you’re absolutely right - I’m not enthused about this any more, although there was a time when I thought I was. I’m not terribly interested in becoming independently wealthy, to be honest. A comfortable life, yes - not really a lifestyle-chasing enterprise. I suspect he will get mad, but if that’s what it is, then there’s nothing I can do about it. I’m going to tell him tomorrow, and we’ll see what happens.

Thanks all, it’s been good to get a bit of independent perspective on this!

13

Physics Ph.D. here (moved to industry after I got my degree).

I will say that it can be kind of hard to know whether you’ll like the Ph.D. before you actually start doing it. Doing research is very different from undergrad coursework or even working in a lab as an undergrad (well, depending on what kind of lab you work in and what your advisor is like). It can be harder; it can also be more fun. I was really, really lucky that I was one of the ones for which it was extremely fun (my advisor was awesome), but even in the most awesome programs there are weeks and months of despair where you think, “What am I doing here? All my research is horrible!” (That mostly being to say, if you think that, it’s normal. Everyone goes through that.)

I am also a little unclear about what you actually want to do? My vague understanding from computer-science people I have known is that, depending on what you want to do, an applied physics or applied math degree, where you apply computer science techniques to a scientific field (which is what your OP makes it sound like you want to do) may be more appropriate. But if you have talked to people and computer science is it, I defer to that. It just seems that what you were excited about at CERN may have been applying the computer knowledge to scientific problems rather than, I don’t know, studying computational complexity or something (which is more what I would associate with a CS doctorate). But I am also not a CS doctorate and don’t know exactly what you are interested in, so take that with a grain of salt…

ETA: Yeah, of course you should get the Ph.D. and give up on the business. I forgot that I didn’t answer that :slight_smile: I mean, I would normally give the opposite answer, but given that your heart is clearly not in the business, it’s better to be honest and give your partner a chance to find someone who is. Though if he’s open to you playing a reduced role, maybe you could do that temporarily?