Hahahahahaha 
Damn! That is funny! I want one of those bracelets!!! 
Oh, and I hope everything works out well for you!
Eve, 30 years as your mother’s doctor or not, I’d be damned if I’d put up with that “too busy to talk to families” shit. My father (and mother) used the same primary doctor for 20 years. When I found out he was prescribing drugs for my father, knowing that he had other meds from a couple of specialists that would not interact well with the new drugs, I threw a Joan Crawford Tina Bring Me That Ax Fit with my folks and him. They got a new primary physcian. If that doctor cannot or will not take the time to inform you, then your mother needs one that will. She may not like it, my folks didn’t at first either, but your first concern has to be her health over her feelings.
Where can I get a WWJCD bracelet?
This explains a lot about last week. Eve, please cheer up. I can’t afford a wig.
I am folding this one up and putting it in my pocket for safekeeping. I’m afraid I lack the cachet to actually use it though. I’ve been relying on “I will rip your head off and shit down your neck” but it’s far more vulgar and is unoriginal to boot.
Good luck, **Eve. ** May your adversaries all see the wisdom of tiptoeing around you this week.
I guess I’m the only one who reads this and feels like playing matador 
Eve, feel like going for coffee?
Nah, Barbarian, you’re not alone. I LIKES my wimmins spunky! But first I have to wrap my head around her truly impossible demand. A cat sitter who isn’t flaky? I’ve never heard of such a thing.
And Eve, dear, I’m as close as your email and I respond, unlike some people. I even have to keep it open all the time now because one major contact’s office email doesn’t talk to my office email so she has to send drawing to my personal account.
Isn’t that divine, jungle red.
Pretty sure you’re not in my area, or I’d volunteer. I used to work in a vet clinic, and I can pill anything. I’ve pilled cats, dogs, various species of rodentia, and on two memorable occasions, an owl and a heron. FYI, herons are mean and obviously not pilled very often in the wild.
Better let me know where to send the royalty cheques, because I’m using this as soon as I can fit it into a conversation.
YES! Another great SDMB quote to join: “I will use their blackened hearts for paperweights. I will play badminton with the souls of their children.”
Sorry, can’t offer props to the original author. The Teeming Millions “Page-O-Flames” web site seems to be down/gone.
Eve, if I lived in New Jersey, I’d sit for your kitties.
Dealing with elderly parents and their doctors and keeping everything straight is very suckworthy, I know. It takes a lot of patience and a mega-memory. I’m sorry you’re going through this.
::gives Eve some virtual Chicken-in-a-Biskits::
[QUOTE=The King of Soup]
Fortunately, Wholecloth Publishing’s Pocket Apocalypse series has just come out with the definitive guide to the consequences of annoying Eve. Titled “So Now You’re Just Asking for Trouble,” it outlines just exactly what will happen if Eve:
QUOTE]
KoS, may I please take that, change it to my name and put it up in my cube? I’m dying to put it up in the corner and see what happens when people read it! HI-LARIOUS!!
[QUOTE=Faruiza]
As far as I’m concerned you may, though I think Eve also has an interest. In any event, I’d think that you might want to keep the format but change the text to reflect local geography and sensibilities, for which no permission is needed.
And thank you Eve, for the grace with which you responded to my stupid joke. I still feel kind of bad about it, though.
Nitpick:
Driving your bare hand into a Brahma bull’s sternum, ripping out his still beating heart, eating it like an apple, and picking your teeth with it’s rib - while very impressive - is not rodeo.
It just ain’t.
:smack:
Sometimes I get going so fast, I become an asshole. What I meant to end that post with is:
{{{{EVE}}}} You have the backbone of a Goddess, and the sharpness of a diamond tipped blade. Here’s to hoping the people in your life straighten up or suffer an embarassing public immolation.
:o
Your worst problem is definitely the doctor. You’ve got my vote for pushing him under the train. The little bastid.
I am so turned on right now.
The quote made famous by Juniper200 is “I will have these people’s stony hearts for paperweights. I will play badmitton with the souls of their firstborn.”
Eve, sweetie, I have a friend in Manhattan who is not a professional cat-sitter, but is has done it before, is very reliable, knows how to pill cats, and needs money enough to be flexible. (That wounds worse than was meant to.) If you want someone next week, let me know and I can get him in touch with you.
mischievous
Unofrtunately, I need him, so rather than shooting him just to see him die, I must *bend him to my will. * He shall do my bidding.
As for the cat-sitter, I am waiting to hire a new one before feeding the old one to the cats. I’m kickin’ names and takin’ asses.
Or however that phrase goes.
There is no spoon…