Who is a sadomasochist?
Freakalette’s relationship is d/s not sm. Do you know the difference?
Well I went to work and WOW this has become a fascinating and informative thread. Many people have eloquently expressed my reservations about the 24/7 scenario WITH KIDS BEING RAISED IN IT much better than I did originally.
Regarding the concerns that some have that since I think this is “wrong” when children are being raised in this particular situation, that this automatically follows that other alternate situations viewed as “wrong” by me or others and would/could/should be judged in the same way—my reply is this= this situation is not between two adults, it is between a master and slave. The children will not learn/see how two adults/parents (or even one parent) functions. There is no “mother” or “father”, there is a master and slave.
This scenario is very specific and I am only judging this scenario.
To raise a child in this situation is AT LEAST giving them so many additional challenges in life that it is cruel.
Freekalette, I AM saying that because you have three children and are choosing to bring them up, you should not live the way you want exactly the way you want because it is too much for young minds to take. When they are grown, THEN I can see them having to deal with your choices…this is too tough for children.
Re The Collar
If it was a dog collar (and we don’t know that it was), any parent of some tweens today would have an easy explanation.
“Yugioh wears one. I’m trying to be like Yugi. I summon the dark magician in attack mode!”
Boy was there a lot of bdsm imagery in that cartoon
The OP’s current husband is. Her former husband, father of two of the children, is a crack head.
The D/s lifestyle is the least of their problems it seems to me.
How would you know? Were your parents heavily into BDSM and you’ve never managed to recover? Have you spoken with many of the children of people who have Master/sub relationships?
Because it really seems you’re just projecting your own insecurities onto another as well as making sweeping generalisations about all children, everywhere and throughout time, and their presumed inability to learn from others.
The OP’s current husband is. Her former husband, father of two of the children, is a crack head.
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No, her husband is a sadist.
Question begging: Their D/s lifestyle isn’t a problem.
No. Her current husband is, at least according to her, a sadist and a masochist. Vanilla people refer to this combination as a sadomasochist. I haven’t checked any specialty dictionaries to see if there is another term.
Their D/s lifestyle certainly has the potential to be a problem. I just doubt it’s the root problem, what with the crack head father, the sadomasochist stepfather who is a princely twelve years older than his stepdaughter, a mother with recurrent depression, mania, and anxiety issues – a primary custodial household engaged in a 24/7 D/s TPE looks to me like the least of their problems.
Okay.
Their D/s lifestyle isn’t a problem at all. Claiming it has the potential to be a problem is stupid; all relationships of any kind have the potential to be a problem. And having mild anxiety/depression issues do not a mental patient make, despite your effort to demonize those who have them. Why do you care about the age difference between the step-father and daughter?
Does she have a sister?
Would you two just take it to another thread, por favor?
Freakalette mentions laying in bed and praying for death. I wouldn’t call that mild depression. I think, as a manic depressive, she should seek psychiatric help.
Take Highway 61 north, turn right at the Welcome to Thunder Bay sign. I’m in the chalet once you get past the fields. Lots of rope and biners here, and a fine selection of paddles. I do have a limit, though. Pop Rocks rock, but no using the air rifle to tattoo each other with them.
She also said that such periods are fewer and not so intense; that she’s making a lot of improvement on her own. Is that possible for someone who is clinically manic-depressive?
She doesn’t necessarily need meds, but perhaps she should be looking into therapy.
I know the difference. Freek described her husband as both sadistic and masochistic.
I think these distinctions are utterly without any relevance, though. People with sexual kinks are not victims of society.
No, the question has not been answered. Various posters have presented various opinions. That is very different from a factual and correct answer having been given.
No. Therefore she isn’t improving. She’s just self-medicating by enacting sexual psychodramas in front of her kids.
Is there a single parent in this thread who thinks it’s appropritae for kids to have to witness this garbage?
On the contrary. She made it clear that her husband orders her around like a slave and makes her wear dog collars in front of her kids.
I don’t know if it is or it isn’t. There is some indication from her thread that people formerly in her social circle now avoid them as a couple because of his behavior since the New Order, which suggests to me that he is now domineering to the point of discomfort for others outside the home. It seems to me unlikely that inside the home this would be less the case – quite the reverse. which is quite natural given his youth (more on that later). But I don’t know and neither do you. However, a 24/7 D/s TPE relationship has a higher potential to be a problem for the children and most especially for the stepchildren than all relationships of any kind.
I also don’t know how mild the OP’s issues are, but neither do you. What she describes does not strike me as the mild side, but given the extent of the boundary problems evident in the posts by the OP, I would not care to hazard a guess based on her self report. I have made no effort to demonize anyone and least of all the OP who seems to me to be doing the best she can with what she has. But what she has not, based on what we have to look at at this moment, is the ability to see this from the perspective of her kids, or anyone else really. Her biggest expressed concern thus far is that they might turn out to be assholes as a result of her behavior. This is way past unusual. Mostly mothers worry that they might cause their children harm or pain, not that they will turn out to be assholes.
The stepfather did not achieve the legal drinking age until his child could walk. This is a very young person. He is already confirmed as a sadomasochist, the Dom in a D/s relationship, the financial and emotional total support of a family of five, and is expected by the OP to act as a fully functioning parent and authority with respect to her children. This is, I think it is fair to say, asking a great deal both of him and of his stepchildren.
I think their relationship is likely to be a real problem. But I don’t think it’s the greatest problem. I think it’s a sign, a signal of the greater problems.
Frankly, I don’t really care WHAT goes on in freekalette’s house. Whatever.
What DID bug me was her post in THIS thread - obviously, I’m paraphrasing here…
And then, she is never to be seen again in this thread. WTF? :dubious:
I dunno - I call shennanigans. Something’s not right.