A coffee house in NYC. My family was local, the in-laws from Detroit.
A friend of mine had a situation like yours, family on both coasts. So, he had a private wedding, then a reception on each coast to celebrate.
What a lot of interesting stories!
We got married in 1990 in a gazebo in a city historic district where I had lived. I wanted a place that would never be locked up or torn down. Cost $20 to rent it. The whole wedding including food, cake, minister’s honorarium, flowers, and my dress cost $1,000.
Vegas, baby! At Little Chapel of the Flowers.
We are from two different countries. We got married in mine and his entire family flew down while we put on the wedding and my side paid for it. It also occurred during a blizzard and everyone showed up.
Courthouse. We didn’t even tell our families in advance: no one was invited, so we didn’t have to worry about the details, or balancing things. Luckily, we have the type of families that were ok (even grateful) for that.
We wanted to be married. We weren’t at all interested in a wedding.
The UC Berkeley Faculty Club (a relative works on campus so we got a hefty discount). Most of our friends are local, some of my family is local, my wife’s family is mostly out of state (a lot of them are in England) - her sister is the closest one at 300 miles away.
It was fantastic.
First wedding: in the little country church where I’d grown up, backyard reception at my parents’. We lived 3 hours away, and his family came from Alabama and Louisiana to Georgia for the festivities. My late grandmother was only ten miles away, though, so she didn’t have to travel. (Almost 90 and wheelchair bound: that was definitely a consideration when I chose a location. His grandparents were younger, and able to travel with family members. My other grandmother was in her sixties and perfectly able to make the 2-hour trip.)
Last wedding: I’d have preferred city hall or such, but Mr. M wanted the police chaplain to marry us, so we used his church. (Again, a small old country church. Fifteen minute drive for us, two hours for his parents, 20 minutes for mine. None of the grandparents attended, but the living ones were ages 96, 95, and 85 at the time. Reception once again at my parents’ house.) It was more than I wanted to plan, but it was wonderful - my brother walked me down the aisle, my 9- and 12-year-olds were my attendants, and the best “man” was my honey’s K9 partner. The Rev joined us in matrimony, and included some nice stuff about joining us as a family.
When we got engaged, we were living in Chicago. My family was mostly in St. Louis and the husband’s family was all over the place. We originally intended to have the wedding in Chicago, but when we had to change the date and plan a wedding in a very short amount of time (no, it was not a shotgun wedding), we changed the location to St. Louis. My mom managed a lot of the details. As we were also managing the details of preparing to move overseas, we were very grateful to have someone else pick out flowers!
OP, I’d second recommendations above to have your wedding near where you live. It’s hard to plan from afar, even with good help. If it’s too expensive for many members of your fiance’s family to go to WA, perhaps you could have a second reception in Cape Girardeau?
At the Old Mill of Gone With the Wind fame, in North Little Rock, Arkansas.
Cripes, sometimes I think you are me! My Florida wedding - performed by a notary - included his (boxer) dog as a non-official witness and occurred in my in-law’s dining room. The dog was not involved in the subsequent divorce.
The wedding from my current marriage was celebrated in the lovely garden of a local restaurant.
We elected to get married where we live (Pittsburgh) rather than where either of our families are from (Ohio and scattered throughout the country). Doing the planning from a distance would have only made the process more stressful, harder to do, and made us more reliant on family for help making decisions than we wanted to be. I also believe that we were able to have the kind of wedding we wanted more cheaply than if it were in a place we didn’t know as well.
A suburb not far from where I grew up and where we were living. No matter where we got married, most of both of our families were going to need to travel, so we figured we might as well make it convenient for a) us, and b) our local friends. And there was no way in Hell I was about to plan a non-local wedding in ~ 4 months!
Well since it had been my dream since I was a little kid to get married in Vegas my husband didn’t really have a choice… 
We were married under the “Welcome to Fabulous Las Vegas” sign with all our parents and 2 best friends each there. It was perfect.
I was living in Louisiana, she was at Dartmouth but left just before. My parents were in San Diego. We had it near her parents in Philadelphia for ease of planning. Our friends were scattered all over the country. The venue was the Ethical Culture Society on Rittenhouse Square, which I strongly recommend for a secular wedding. We had the reception out a ways. It worked great.
We had 25 guests, the biggest wedding in our families for 3 generation. My daughter got married in Washington, Georgia, family only. We took over a small bed & breakfast. It got catered by the owner, who was Lebanese, educated in France, and his wife, who was French. They were busy taking over the town. No one lived anywhere near Georgia, but it was pretty nice. We did cause a (nice) stir, a bunch of Yankees coming to get married and spend money. They got written up in the town paper society column.
Jackson Square in New Orleans.
Families lived on opposite ends of Kentucky, friends lived all over the place, we had recently moved to North Carolina and had exactly 5 days for travel, ceremony, and honeymoon. If we had it in either hometown, one family was driving 6 hours and we were driving between 7 and 11 hours each way. If we had in NC, both families were driving between 7 and 11 hours. New Orleans was 10-12 hours away for everyone, we like going down there around New Years, and people were going to bitch no matter what we did, so there you go.
I’m West Coast, the wife was East Coast, we both hated ceremonies and really didn’t much like family either. Las Vegas, baby. At a drive-thru chapel.
Perhaps your family had a better grasp on the solemnity of the occasion than mine did. 
The Bride’s home church, which in this case was Viburnum Christian Church in Viburnum, Missouri. All of her family had a short (less than 10 minutes drive); my family had to drive about four hours (from central Illinois).
I’m never married, but I know my mom doesn’t post here so I thought I would share her venues. First marriage was in a church, Lutheran I believe (my dad’s family was Lutheran, although they weren’t very observant or faithful churchgoers). Second marriage (when I was in 10th grade) was at the local gazebo on our town’s lake. It was nice for pictures, but very windy that day. It was a small, short ceremony so it didn’t matter much. Then, we had the reception at the nearby community center. Bonus: it was all within walking distance of our house.
We married in a family friend’s back yard, under a giant oak tree. It was closer to where he grew up than where I grew up, but still not more than a 2 hour drive for most of my folks. It was a gorgeous June afternoon, the flowers were in full bloom, and we couldn’t have asked for anything better.