Wherein Piper Cub outlines our super-hero powers

“So Dad,” says the Cub to me today, “I’ve been thinking about our super-hero names and powers, since we’re a team!”

“And what did you come up with?” I asked, wondering where this one was going.

“I think we should be the Spinner and the Shaver!” he exclaimed. "I’ll be the Spinner, and I’ll have a collection of fidget spinners, and I’ll throw them at bad guys and knock them down, like Batman with his batarangs!’

“That sounds good,” I replied. “But what do I do, as the Shaver?”

“You know that shaving cream stuff you have?”

“Well aware of it”, I replied.*

“You see, you’ll spread shaving cream on their legs and shave their legs!” he said gleefully.

“Interesting approach,” I said. “But how does that help defeat the bad guys?”

“When you shave, you don’t do a good job, and you’ll be cutting and scratching them, and they’ll be going ‘Ow! Ow! Ow!’ and then they’ll give up!” he announced triumphantly.

“Interesting approach,” I agreed. “It’ll take longer than the Spinner, though. You get the glamour jobs, knocking them out with Fidget Spinners.”

“That’s okay, Daddy - you’ll do a good job,” he encouraged me.

N. Piper, have razor, will shave (badly).

If I can figure out how to make the red and white stripes revolve on my uniform, I can join the team as Barber Man, who gives bad haircuts to evil people and then the other super-villains make fun of them and won’t let them join the Evil Team.

Regards,
Shodan

I see a theme developing here. I love it when a plan comes together!

Sounds like he’s the hero and you’re the sidekick in this team.

Haberdasher Man - makes fun of bad guy uniforms, so they are ashamed to appear in public. Battle cry - “No Capes!”

Heroine Hygienist - makes evil guys brush after every meal, and then captures them with her Dental Floss Lasso of Truth. Her victory cry - “Now spit!”

Shoe Salesman Supreme - gifted with the mystical power to make the boots of the unrighteous a size too small, so they can’t wait to get back to the lair and take them off. Got his powers from being bitten by a radioactive loafer. Sidekick’s name is Slipper, who fights for truth, comfy-ness, and justice.

Regards,
Shodan

Oh, that’s very clear!

“Now spit!” - I like it!

And of course, your catchphrase: “Stop! In the name of Barbasol!”

**Superchef **, who makes big meals for villians so that they’re too full to commit crimes. This isn’t related to the fact that I just had lunch.

Shodan has quite a talent for this stuff. Bravo. Surprising the evildoers with unanticipated and hard to counter powers is always a winning strategy in comic books. Which brings us to:

**Shodan the Unexpected **- His power to conjure strange and wondrous sorta-superheros on demand makes him the meta-est of metaheros.

Here’s one of my long-time favorites. With drawings even: http://professionalsuperhero.com/