All right, here’s the rules: pick a superpower for the previous poster based on their username. For instance, if the previous poster were named Brainiac, you might suggest “super-intelligence”.
Have at it.
ultrafilter: Able to strain large particles in a single round! Osmosis never was so easy with a strong membrane like ultrafilter!
Children, your milk never again must have curds. Gentlemen, your coffee no longer need be chewy! Ladies, your margaritas no longer have beach sand at the bottom, because ultrafilter is on the way!
Tripler
TRIPLER: Can make any amount of anything triple in size! Got 10 bucks and need $30? Give it to Tripler! Got a beer but want three? Ask Tripler! Want to REALLY impress the ladies? Ask Tripler to see you in private!
Tripler, the ability to treble the effects of alcohol and hence make his drunken enemies see 3 of everything.
[sub]okay so I’m drinking and not very good at this game. Should I have said the ability to make his sexual partner to instantly become identical triplets?[/sub]
Awwwwww…this is almost too easy! 
Tripler… has the ability to triple any known given physical ability or quantity in him/herself or a person he (or she) touches. This lasts for one hour,
Tequila Mockingbird: When inebriated, has the ability to mimic every sound she hears.
Nocturne, the superhero with a voice!
Able to slay the masses of his enemies with the soothing sounds of a piano man! Karaoke was never so much fun, or such hard work for a superhero like Nocturne! Bob Goulet eat your heart out, because Nocturne is on the stage!
Freyr - Can cook in grease - but only by mispronouncing the food to be cooked. 
Tengu: Invincible Japanese hero; he can grow to enormous size to defend Osaka from Rodan.
And if you do him a solid, he’ll express his gratitude in a Japanese accent.
Fiver - always has a five dollar bill in his pocket!
[sub]OK, I admit it - I just want to see someone attempt me :D[/sub]
Smeghead, able to become pregnant, even as a male! (Red Dwarf Reference)
Speaker for the Dead-able to unite the unliving through his masterful oratory and use them to smite the forces of evil!
hardygrrl: teenage super-sleuth cousin of the Hardy Boys… with an edge!
[giggle]
hardygrrl, able to make the fellas get hard in a single flirt. No offense, hardygrrl, but I couldn’t resist.
Astroboy14: Able to change from dog to boy in a single Jetson episode and say herro, 'orge, and erroy.
Ha!
I was thinking something more along the lines of “Master of Time, Space, and Dimension” myself…
Celestina: with her two tiny hammers, able to play any glockenspiel-like instrument, instantly!
(Good thing I had a dictionary handy, I’d never heard of a “celesta” before.)
Math-Geek…
with the power to solve any math problem in his head instantaneously!
even quantum proofs!
with a supercharge-
asking him, “what is the last digit of Pi?” causes reality to collapse around him, giving him the ability to reshape it to his will with the powers of math!
saepiroth able to beat up and capture any villian in the time it takes them to pronouce his/her name!
He/She can only be weakened by saying his/her name, correctly, 3 times in a row.
Mercutio: Able to put a plague on both your houses!