All right, it’s been about a year since I last did this, and I think it’s worth another try.
The rules are very simple: the person before you is a superhero, and you have to determine what their powers are just based on their handle (that’s the username, for anyone who’s not familiar with the term). See the linked thread for examples, and some genuinely funny material to boot.
The first person gets the choice of doing me, or alice_in_wonderland, who was the last person to post to the original.
Alice_in_wonderland, with amazing shrinking and growth powers, she has the ability to speak with animals (particularly white rabbits, cats, and insects.) Alice can travel interdimensionally through earthbound portals and magic mirrors. She uses her powers to defend those under the insane, tyrranical rule of the Red Queen.
Ultrafilter has the ability to injest any poison or breathe in any dangerous gasses and expel them harmlessly, inert, and with a lovely blast of potpourri.
Bosda D’Chi of Tricor, an extradimensional demon accidentally brought to Earth in a botched attempt to summon Cthulu. Claws, breathes fire, flies on leather wings, and can only speak in rhyme.
ResIpsaLoquitor - An ordinary, mild-mannered citizen bitten by a radioactive lawyer, now fights crime in the bustling city of Gothamopolis. He causes his enemies to go insane by making all inanimate objects around them suddenly start talking. The deafening cacophony makes them plead guilty and justice is soon served.
Bathes regularly, eats healthy foods, and doesn’t kiss on a first date.
ResIpsaLoquitor, with the frightening ability to rupture the colon of anyone naive enough to challenge its powers, strikes fear into russian antique salesmen and bus drivers.
Oops, maybe we oughtta use our superpowers on the hamsters.
OK, Happy Lendervedder - Little brother of Happy Gilmore. Curses like a sailor, plays golf like hockey player, and fights like a girl. Does bar mitzvahs, weddings, and will occasionally pop out of a cake. Weekends and evenings only.
The Great Unwashed—fights the evil tyranny of the mega-powerful by assailing them with gaseous excretions from his Pits Of Doom[sup]TM[/sup]. Also likes to run snooty types off by playing WWF and World’s Greatest Car Chases on large screens outside the country clubs in his hometown. Often seen in the company of Spiffy, his super-dog.
belladonna, the reluctant hero. Sweet and cuddly on the inside, a deadly poison to the touch. She can emit clouds of poison to render an opponent anaesthetized or unconscious.
belladonna, surreptitious poisoner of unsuspecting trolls, lurkers and other evils of the SDMB. Don’t let her green, leafy appearance fool you–she is truly the darker side of Mother Nature!
belladonna----If her experience with you isn’t very pleasant, ZAP! You’re poisoned! She can change from charming bella into Deadly Nightshade by blinking her eyes…
belladonna - The GPS of superheroes, belladonna merely has to clap twice and any missing villan immediately becomes cloaked with a plethora of pealing bells of resounding pitch and clarity. This donning of bells is precipitated by the command “Bell on” and “Bell off” along with, of course, the obligatory clapping. belladonna’s services are available anytime evil rears it’s head other than Sunday mornings.
Lieu - able to replace any superhero who powers would be useful to solve a situation but isn’t available because s/he’s on another case or in extreme circumstances dead.
booklover - when super-villians threaten, she immerses herself in her library. After therein researching the villians’ strengths and weakenesses, she emerges with a plan capable of foiling their nefarious designs.
