Which animal would take down 4 humans the quickest?

[Mr.Kobayashi]

A spin off of this thread and Baker’s comments. Let’s say we’re at the Colosseum in ancient Rome and four men are attacking one animal - no matter how suicidal the odds. They’re unarmed, of average build. Which animal would you say could incapacitate, maim and otherwise render insensible the humans in the fastest time?

You may laugh but I say the hippo. It kills more people in Africa than any other mammal, those jaws can easily kill and the men have no chance to hurt it through that hide and blubber. Anyway, that’s just my opinion man. What’s yours?

[Quartz]

Assuming the arena is flooded, I’ll go for a Great White shark. With the hippo and a dry arena, the men can run away until the hippo is exhausted.

But really, an unarmed man is dead meat against pretty much any attacking megafauna.

[bucketybuck]

If you want “quickest” then surely the answer is one of the big cats, a lion or tiger?

Fast, strong, and importantly they have the temperament to actually go after the four men, unlike the shark who will waste time floating around. A Hippo might be strong and narky, but I’d still be more scared of a tiger in this situation.

[Mr.Kobayashi]

@Quartz

Assuming the arena is flooded, I’ll go for a Great White shark. With the hippo and a dry arena, the men can run away until the hippo is exhausted.

Dry arena, should have specified. Hippos can haul ass even on dry land, though.

@bucketybuck

If you want “quickest” then surely the answer is one of the big cats, a lion or tiger?

Thought about that but I think the hide and fat of the hippo renders it invulnerable against an unarmed human, whereas you might get a very lucky boot in against a tiger.

[Xema]

@Mr.Kobayashi

Hippos can haul ass even on dry land, though.

Your link clearly shows a 3-legged hippo - surely not the best candidate.

I’d be inclined to go with a large bear - grizzly or polar. These can run very fast (~35 mph) and easily maim or kill with a single swipe of a paw. Nothing an unarmed human can do would have the least effect here.

[Left_Hand_of_Dorkness]

@Mr.Kobayashi

Dry arena, should have specified. Hippos can haul ass even on dry land, though.
Thought about that but I think the hide and fat of the hippo renders it invulnerable against an unarmed human, whereas you might get a very lucky boot in against a tiger.

Assuming that these unarmed average build men aren’t super trained assassins, I don’t think there’s going to be a lucky boot going on against a tiger.

[Bullitt]

Tiger. Not Tigger, not Detroit Tigers. Tiger. My vote.

[zweisamkeit]

Hippo was my immediate answer, as well.

Jill wrote a staff report about hippos. She doesn’t give a definitive answer re: Hippos vs tigers, but they’re clearly more dangerous than lions.

[puzzlegal]

Why are these men attacking the animal, and not trying to avoid agitating it?..

Fastest kill of all four? Maybe the bear, who swipes with his paw and is ready to swipe again quickly. Lions tend to strangle their prey, less effective against multiple targets. Tiger? Dunno, my housecat kills extremely fast by breaking the neck of her prey. If some large cat does that, it might be fastest.

Bears, like hippos, are effectively armored with long, thick fur as well as fat. The only parts you could hurt bare handed would be the eyes, and possible the nose.

[Mangetout]

Nm

[Chronos]

Tyrannosaurus rex. Or failing that, an African elephant, assuming it’s somehow motivated to kill the humans.

[kanicbird]

@Xema

Your link clearly shows a 3-legged hippo - surely not the best candidate.

I’d be inclined to go with a large bear - grizzly or polar. These can run very fast (~35 mph) and easily maim or kill with a single swipe of a paw. Nothing an unarmed human can do would have the least effect here.

Bold mine
There is one thing that a person can do that might work against a bear, play dead, that is not a great strategy for a cat however.

But some cats do have comparable strength to a human and 4 men could conceivably take one down, not sure of what type of cats Caesar uses.

[Gatopescado]

The Kraken. Instant, simultaneous death to all!

[glee]

A skunk would incapacitate pretty quickly … but if you want death, go for a honey badger. :eek:

[bucketybuck]

@Mr.Kobayashi

Thought about that but I think the hide and fat of the hippo renders it invulnerable against an unarmed human, whereas you might get a very lucky boot in against a tiger.

I think the average man couldn’t meaningfully hurt a full grown tiger with a kick even if the tiger promised to just stand there and give the guy a few free swings.

[Mr.Kobayashi]

@bucketybuck

I think the average man couldn’t meaningfully hurt a full grown tiger with a kick even if the tiger promised to just stand there and give the guy a few free swings.

Probably not, but if it were for lack of a better term, bumrushed, the men might get a very lucky shot in while it mauls one of them.

@puzzlegal

Why are these men attacking the animal, and not trying to avoid agitating it?..

Ave, Imperator, morituri te salutant!

[Trinopus]

@Chronos

Tyrannosaurus rex. Or failing that, an African elephant, assuming it’s somehow motivated to kill the humans.

Figures a bloke named Chronos would think of a time-travel solution!

But, yeah, the elephant.

[MrDibble]

Big bear. Polar or brown.

[DinoR]

@Trinopus

But, yeah, the elephant.

Make it a trained and armed war elephant for good measure. Just because the men are unarmed doesn’t mean the elephant can’t have a sword.

[Snarky_Kong]

Some of the smaller cats have been killed 1v1. I think mostly by jamming an arm down its throat and choking it.

I’m going human with a flamethrower. You never said the animal had to be unarmed.