Okay, following Doper advice, I priced out some guitar packages that came with guitar/amp/gig bag/cord/picks/tutorial package/misc stuff.
My choices are Fender Squire, Typhoon, Essex, some acronym similar to PVC, and a mumbling woman mentioned Gursur Washburn (?).
They’re all roughly the same price so I thought I’d see if I could get them ranked by their approximate quality.
Sorry, sir - can’t help you. Obviously the Fender brand name carries more weight, but in my experience the guitars included in those types of packages have nothing to do with the guitars that actually carry the Fender name. I have played Squires that were decent money for the price (the one I am thinking of was made in Indonesia, had a “rosewood” fingerboard and a small headstock) for $99, and ones that stunk (made in China, maple fingerboard, large headstock). You really need to have someone who knows guitars check them out…
I don’t know where you live, Anal Scurvy. But 'round these parts, we have a store called Guitar Center, where you can play any of the guitars before you buy them. Might be worth it to you to do so and pick the one you like best.