So is this the proverbial “brown note”?
Could I get an 88Hz semicolon tuner?
I’m sorry, you’ll have to buy 4 of our 22 Hz hemidemisemicolon tuners. We’ll throw in a mallet for free.
I’m pretty sure you were over-thinking a lame joke. “There’s no tuning fork for uracil.” So, you would need a spoon, see?
[sup]I’m sorry…[/sup]
But if you had stabbed them, their Chi would flow oh-so-freely! You’d be doing them a favor!
That’s exactly my point.
New Age crap aside, is that a good price for that many tuning forks? Assuming you wanted more than A-440.
There are those who believe they can do just about that. I had a martial arts class where my teacher’s teacher came by for a lecture at his house. The thing consisted of a great deal of chi-based BS and culminated with a demonstration that I volunteered to be the dummy for.
Supposedly he could “reverse your chi flow” by doing what looked suspiciously like waving his hand around in front of you. He demonstrated the significant weakening effects of this by having me stand in front of him with my arms at my side, with my elbows 90 degrees. My lower arms were sticking out in front of me. He would press down on the outstretched portion of my arms and I would resist. Then he did his hand waving thing in front of me (supposedly this was powerful enough that he could knock people down from across the room). Then he would press down on my arms again. This time he was able to push them down.
“Do you know how I did that?” he asked.
“Yes,” I responded.
“How did I do that?”
“You pushed harder the second time.”
“No! The reversed chi caused you to be temporarily weakened so you could not resist my pushing on your arms.”
“It really felt like you just pushed harder the second time.”
I think he may actually think he didn’t push any harder and that he really has mystic powers.
:rolleyes: Chi whiz!
:eek: This energized oxygen stuff guarantees to improve “neuro-performance”:
"Combines designer nutrition and cell oxygenation for enhanced physical and cognitive vitality and important anti aging co-factors. "
I myself cannot get enough of designer nutrition. Why, I choose my meals and intake products every single day–because you just can’t be too careful.
Because Chi actually exists and only morons don’t believe in it. 
Seriously though, a good Shiatsu is the shizznit. I like it much better than Swedish. Though, today was my weekly acupuncture, so I get my Chi realigned all the time.
All Massage is based on that woo woo stuff. PH Ling went to China to study with all those New Agey masseuses who were realigning Chi with their new agey Tui Na and Yellow Emperor’s Classic of Internal Medicine hot off the presses three thousand years ago.
There is no such thing as non woo-woo massage, there are only different modalities that are explained in a way that won’t offend your cultural sensibilities.
Just ask for a strict Swedish Massage. If you aren’t into the realigning of the Chi you can just have them work on your trigger points and pain referral so you can get your energy realigned but not feel like you are betraying your western scientific heritage. Get more Janet Travell and less Yellow Emperor in your day. You won’t have to think about the fact that there is a high proportion of alignment between Travell’s trigger point referral patterns and the Shiatsu meridians, you can just have your sarcomeres poked and your myofascia yanked.
What I’m surprised by is how often Massage therapists are idiots. I am studying both Swedish and Shiatsu, but I’d suss out a client before mentioning anything to them. If I saw that they would have some sort of emotional breakdown at the mention of an Asian modality I’d talk to them strictly about their muscles, keep it nice and material plane for them.
Oh. I think my colon just cleansed itself.