A compliment? or a message a woman is cheap?
Any men here do it? And women: how did you react?
I’ve whistled at my wife when she’s dressed up and looking fine.
I don’t do it, but it’s a compliment. I feel certain someone will call this mysogynistic.
Some women like it, some women don’t care, and some are made extremely uncomfortable by it. I’m one of the latter. I don’t enjoy sexual attention from strangers. Actually, to be more honest, I don’t enjoy attention of any kind from strangers. I am the person in the elevator hoping you don’t try to strike up a conversation. I’m shy.
When a guy I don’t know whistles at me, I never know how to respond. What am I supposed to say? ''Thanks for making me feel really self-conscious?" Because if I think anyone is watching me I get really self-conscious. But if I ignore them, then I feel like a jerk. But if I interact with them, I’m leading them on. See, it’s a whole hassle I’d rather avoid. I’ve been in more than one situation where the guy mistakes my friendliness for interest and then gets all pissy when I try to get out of the situation. I always end up feeling guilty.
If it’s somebody I know, and feel safe with, then it’s definitely a complement. I would love something like that from my husband, but he can’t whistle.
I predict this thread will go swimmingly.
I hate being whistled at. It makes me worry that the man will then give me other kinds of inappropriate, unasked-for sexual attention. Got it?
Yep, I think that about covers it. Sexual attention from perfect strangers can be distrubing or even frightening, it can be so much background noise that it’s not noticed, or it can be taken as a compliment.
I’m reminded of a scene in That 70s Show where one of the teenage characters pats a woman on the butt and it turns out to be one of his friend’s mom. She gives him an earful about respect and boundaries and women’s equality etc., then very sheepishly adds, “… and thank you for the compliment; it made my day.”
Now I once passed a guy on the street near my office who was looking at me like he was about to hit on me. At that time I was interning for a Latino social services organization and the guy was a local. He looked down at the ID tag on my shirt and said, ''Bless you. Thank you so much" and went on his way. That made my day.
I’d like to add a question to the OP. What, exactly, do whistlers want us to do when they whistle? Blush? Say thank you? Walk faster? Hand over our phone number? I’ve never been sure how to react, so I’ve always ignored it, but I’ve received a few “Bitch” for failing to do… something, I guess.
So what are whistlers expecting from us?
I’ve never whistled at a woman, or even seen it done in real life.
They aren’t expecting anything. Your ‘Bitch’ response makes no sense if you did nothing.
My guess is that the “bitch” guys are angling for at least a glance and a smile
You’re supposed to play along. Act coy. Maybe, if you’re a tease or a slut, give a “thanks, big guy,” and show some cleavage.
What’s with uptight women not appreciating an innocent compliment from a stranger? Doesn’t it feel good to know that I want to stick my dick in 'em?
. . . it may be a compliment, but it is in no way polite or appropriate to whistle at a stranger.
I think guys like that are going beyond just whistling.
I agree. If I consider it rude, it’s pretty rude. But I don’t think a simple whistle carries any extra connotations. When they do more than that it crosses from rude to disgusting.
gosh in the right context I think its fine…a group of construction workers on a lunch break…almost expect it vs a shady looking character who accompanies the whistle with an uneasy glance, same whistle…very different implications.
Generally speaking, if a woman warrants a whistle it is accepted she is dressed for that occasion. just sayin…
I kind of miss it.
Okay. Have you considered that your thoughts on that might not be correct? (I read about that happening in a book once)
I’ve also never seen it in real life, it’s so corny. I thought it was from cartoons.
Ah, she’s asking for it because she’s wearing a skirt, tube top, bikini or something equally fetching. Gotcha. Wait… women in dirty sweats, scrubs, or pant suits but who are blond, redheaded, raven-haired, busty, hippy, blue-eyed, green-eyed, brown-eyed, long-legged, or pretty, they’re asking for it too, right? Just askin’…
Maybe I’m wrong, but I don’t recall guys simply whistling and then responding with ‘Bitch’ when they’re ignored. There’s either something more than disregard from the woman, or something more than a whistle from the man. But there are a lot of guys and a lot of women in the world and my experiences are limited.
Notice him That’s all. And it’s a big enough gift that any kind of price is worth it.
The ‘bitch’ is unexcusable though. If the gift isn’t freely given, it has no value anyway.
In 1983 I heard two young women discussing the question. One felt complemented and affirmed by whistlers. The other felt insulted. Of course, this is true of any complement: any complement from a person of low status is an insult, so I can say that both recognised the complement, but reacted differently to it.
Your reaction is partly in your own control: learning to accept un-wanted complements gracefully is a valuable social skill: it makes you a nicer and happier person. It’s not just whistling either: it’s the same skill as knowing how to gracefully turn down unwanted promotions at work.
Another valuable attribute is learning that you don’t have control of un-wanted complements. In the case of whistling, you can’t control it by dressing differently, or acting differently, because fundamentally it is not about how you dress or act: remember, here is guy who just wanted you to acknowledge that he exists: that isn’t really about you at all – it’s about him and how he feels about himself.