I’ve never seen this ever in real life. Is this actually a thing people do? I thought it was only in cartoons and movies!
Then I guess what you are trying to say here remains unclear to me?
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Maybe I’m wrong, but I don’t recall guys simply whistling and then responding with ‘Bitch’ when they’re ignored. There’s either something more than disregard from the woman, or something more than a whistle from the man. But there are a lot of guys and a lot of women in the world and my experiences are limited.
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Okay, so you’re saying either you’ve only seen this happen either when the woman actually did something “more than disregard” to warrant it or… or if, in your words, there’s “something more than a whistle from the man”? What are you talking about here?
Who is “guys like that”? What makes you suspect that “guys like that” would not ever think to do a plain ol’ whistle instead of both a whistle and a covert masturbation or a whistle and an attempted tit-grab or whatever you’re talking about? Seriously, am I missing something here?
In this case exactly what you said, which is remarkable considering that your posts are normally distortion of what what was said.. Are you having trouble understanding your own words now? That wouldn’t surprise me either, but I’ll waste my time explaining it to you anyway.
If a man just whistles (you understand what a whistle is right, a guy just blows air through his lips making a sound), and you ignore him (that means you just continue doing whatever you were doing as if you never heard him), then he isn’t going to then insult you. Are there some guys somewhere who would? Sure. But that’s exceptional, because as far as the guy knows you didn’t even hear him. If he was going to do anything else he’d whistle again, or do something else to get your attention.
Now if you fall into his game and make it clear that you did hear him, and respond in any way, he may well keep at it. If he percieves that you disaprove of his whistle he may overtly insult you, or make gesture or other sounds. If you smile at him, it could lead to more whistling, or maybe some waving, or just a smile in return, but it may lead to even worse conduct than the initial whistle.
Well there you go again editing out the context. Guys like that are guys who do more than whistle. They’re not doing anything covert, because of course then it wouldn’t be possible to know they are doing anything else, you probably don’t realize this because you think men are doing all sorts of covert things all the time even though by definition you can’t possibly know that. So they would do overt things, make gestures and other sounds, throw things, whatever, because they would be seeking attention, not just paying you a compliment in a crude manner. And in that case they don’t want you to mistake their whistle for merely being a compliment. Their intention is to harass you. Sometimes they don’t see it that way at all, believing women like to be harassed and think it makes them attractive somehow, or they may be intending to harass you because it makes them feel dominant somehow.
And finally, let me say, I hope my confidence here is not to aggressive for you.
Whistling at a pretty lady-
I think it can be done with good intentions. But it can also be done with pervy intentions. And you can’t really tell which it is. It is poor form, IMO. There are far better ways to tell a woman she’s attractive.
“Wow! You look great.” is fine, if a bit non-specific. Better is to say what exactly looks great, particularly if it’s something she put some effort into, like her clothes, hair, shoes, etc. Saying her ass looks great is a bit pervy, and it probably isn’t something she will appreciate if she doesn’t know you and/or thinks you’re a perv. If she knows you, and knows you’re not a perv, then it *can *be acceptable, but it depends on the woman. Some won’t like being talked to that way. Others think it’s great to have their ass complimented. But it’s just not going to grab their attention if you’re not stunningly gorgeous yourself. It’s a weak, impersonal, unimaginative, crass “compliment”. Maybe that crap gets past the radar for some women, for others, it’s a turn-off. You can do better. And this goes beyond the initial greeting/whistling, too.
Men in general need to up their game. Whistling, corny pick-up lines, asking for their phone number too early, being too aggressive or demanding about it, crowding their personal space, etc… If you’re going to be classless, tactless, and offensive, you might as well drop your pants by a busy street corner, and hold a sign that says “Touch my junk, ladies”. Then, the only women who will come within 50 feet of you are the ones that are either interested in you, or cops. That way you don’t have to be creative or interesting. And it will let all the other women in the vicinity know that they should stay the hell away from you.
Best way introduce yourself is to say hello and tell them your name. At that point, even if they’re completely uninterested, they’ll feel that you’re not a mouth-breather or a rapist, and they can confidently turn you down in the hopes that you’ll go away. And if you get turned down, don’t make a scene, or whine, or beg, or call her a slut or a bitch. Because you know what’s really attractive to grown women? Whiny two year olds. Your dick might as well be the size of a toddler’s at that point, she’s not going to be interested after she already turned you down and you acted butthurt by it. You might as well tattoo “PATHETIC LOSER” on your forehead, and skip a step. Then she can say “go away pathetic loser” before you even open your mouth hole.
Best way to ask for her phone number is to introduce yourself, and talk to her, ask her her name. Don’t ask for her phone number before this has happened. She doesn’t want to talk to random nameless guy. Then, if she doesn’t act like you’re bothering her, perhaps you write down your phone number and give it to her. Then, if she wants to talk to you, she can call you. And then, you’ll have her number. And that way, she doesn’t have to turn down your presumptuous request for her phone number. You know why she is not sure she wants to give out her number? Because she doesn’t know if you’re going to be a phone stalker. She doesn’t want to have to change her number again just because perverts won’t stop calling her. You don’t have that problem. Be a man, be the one who takes the risk with the phone number, and show some courtesy and consideration. You might be a nice guy but she doesn’t know that yet, and the last pervert who wouldn’t leave her alone acted like a nice guy too, just long enough to get her phone number and/or address.
Another way of introducing yourself is by not looking like a loner sociopath. If you’re in a social setting and you have friends that aren’t total jerkasses, perhaps they could walk up to the lady for you and say that there’s a guy who would like to meet them, and then have them point over to you. That way, if she’s not interested at first glance, she can tell your friend, and spare you both the embarrassment of rejection. And if she’s even mildly curious, then she can say okay, and now she’s receptive to meeting you. It’s like knocking on a door before entering… it shows a little courtesy. And now you look slightly less like a potential rapist. Now you’re either shy or polite, and you have a friend, which is less threatening than a guy with no friends hitting on random ladies.
If you’re going to use a pickup line, you should be aware how awful they are, even the supposedly good ones. Using a pickup line means that instead of being you, and talking to her, you’re using pre-written material, probably ripped-off from someone else, and you’re regurgitating it at her. This is roughly the equivalent of taking along a tape recorder and playing it in the face of every woman you meet, and all it says is “I want to touch your ass”. Yeah, it might turn some heads, on rare occasion. But mostly you’re going to look like a jerkass, and get drinks splashed in your face. Is this really your A-game?
For those of you who are not paralyzed by fear of rejection, I have a simple request: Please stop ruining things for the rest of us. Some of us want to be able to walk up to a woman and talk to her, and have her not be worried that we’re going to treat her like the last several dozen a-holes who treat picking up on women like a game where it doesn’t matter how bad your win percentage is, you still somehow get dates just due to sheer volume of requests. Now she has difficulty telling who is a date spammer troll and who is actually interested in HER, as a human being, not as a walking vagina.
If you’re going to troll for phone numbers like a stalker, spam pick-up lines, whistle and expect a response, and not take “no” for an answer, I have one further request: Castrate yourself. Let’s make sure folks like you can’t breed.
Okay then, nix the whistling, I hear ya… but chicks totally dig getting honked at, right?! I didn’t get my La Cucaracha horn installed for nothing!
Band na… nahhhh, too similar to *Hootie and the Blowfish. Damn! *
I don’t have a problem with it, I just assume they’re whistling at someone other than me!
I’ve only whistled at women I know, in over-the-top appreciation of how nice they look. And I’ve always received a hug or similar in return.
Askthepizzaguy, that was a pretty thoughtful post.
Out of all the ways men have of expressing how they view me a sex object, whistling is probably the one I would pick. If I really had to. Yay. :rolleyes:
Helpful tip:
Complement - Noun. A thing that completes or brings to perfection.
Compliment - Noun. A polite expression of praise or admiration.
Yes, what he does is say “Bitch” or “What’s the matter, you’re too good for me?” or “Is your pussy made of gold?” or something along those lines. And these are not exceptions, they are the rule.
I think that it’s very nearly impossible for men to understand just how frequently women can get whistled (and catcalled) at in some areas, and just how aggressive some of the whistlers can get if they don’t receive positive reactions. Men would have to be in realistic drag, or view video footage to see what goes on, because a lot of whistlers won’t whistle at a woman if there’s a man (who’s not in their group) is around. This, to me, proves that whistling is an aggressive behavior, more than anything else. If a man will whistle at a single woman, or two women, but wouldn’t whistle at that same woman or women if there was a man walking with her or them…what do you think that means?
I also wanted to say this, but some anger got in the way. Thanks Lynn.
Deleted most, because I was about to post the same thing. Men don’t whistle when I’m in the company of another man, it serves an obvious purpose that goes beyond compliment to confrontation. It’s not a heinous, sinister act, but it isn’t entirely innocuous, either.
(Unless done as kayaker says, as a silly, fun compliment to a known person. Then it’s not remotely confrontational.)
I think this means these men must be alone also, meaning I’ll never see such a thing. I see tons of guys whistling at women alone, in front of other men, which is what I see, and all I will be able to see. They don’t whistle at a woman with a guy because they’re cowards and know what might happen. What they find out is that if they do more than whistle while I’m around, expecting that I’m part of their group, doesn’t work out well for them.
Now I’ve had enough of this.
Well not quite done. I stand by what I say. A guy who whistles and does nothing else, means no more than a compliment, or a call for attention. And if you’re saying that when a guy just whistles and you ignore him and then he insults, you I find your credibility lacking. He may try more whistling or worse seeking more attention, and I’ve made it clear what I think about that behavior. So go ahead and call me a rapist, I don’t care.
Actually, thanks to cell phones, you CAN see it. And you can read about it.
Is it so hard to believe that your experiences with sexually charged, public behavior have been different from the experiences of women? You honestly think it’s more likely that people are lying than that they’ve seen and heard things that you haven’t?
No one has said that, and no one’s pretending that a car full of teenage girls never whistled at a male on the street, either. We’re just not going to equate it to a verbal compliment. When a whistle is aimed at me, my only thought is can I get to my car before he yells Bitch at me. I’m not cruising for men, scanning for good looking guys to troll, or otherwise studying my environment in hopes of making a love connection so I usually don’t even know who whistled or where he is. I’m not about to stop, turn in a circle and track down the whistler, make an appraisal, curtsey and whisper thank you. I’d rather just put the same thought and effort into a response that he did, which is little to none.
I don’t think that you’re a rapist, but no, it’s not a compliment. A call for attention, yes. But if it’s a compliment, then why wouldn’t that guy whistle at a woman who has a male escort? The answer is, because it’s not a compliment. The whistler knows damn well that if he whistled at a woman who is being escorted by a man, then that escort might take offense. It’s not a compliment if it’s offensive when it’s offered to escorted women, so why would it be a compliment to solo women? Really and truly. Or at least, it’s not a compliment if they are two random strangers. If a man and woman (or a man and a man, or a woman and a woman, or a woman and a man) know each other, and one whistles at the other, then it’s usually a shorthand compliment. But if the whistle is from one stranger to another, then how does the target know whether this guy is trying to test her responses and boundaries?
You know, women get told that they should “be aware of their surroundings”, well, this is one of those danger signals that we’re supposed to be aware of.
If I had said that I’d be blaming the victim. Thanks for saying it though, because it’s true.
So is it a harmless compliment, or a danger signal? You don’t get to claim that it’s both.