Watching an old Trevor Noah broadcast where the guest was an obscure rapper who was an extremely dull interviewee. Shut it off before he performed and told the Ukulele Lady “I’m gonna go do the dinner dishes, and I’m going to play the WHITEST MUSIC in the world.”
She said “What, Lawrence Welk? Pat Boone?” I said “NO! Some COOL white people music.” She said “Good luck.”
So for the past ten minutes I’ve had on Marlene Dietrich singing cabaret songs…”Lili Marlene,” “Falling in Love Again,” “Miss Otis Regrets” in German. Edith Piaf would have worked, too.
(I’m talking cultural influence here, rather than race. Please don’t be offended. Curious about what 20th-21st century music lacks tinges of jazz or blues but people still consider “authentic” and “cool.” No Beatles covering Little Richard or Comedian Harmonists [most popular vocal act in Weimar Germany] covering Duke Ellington)
Edith Piaf is a great choice; my Edith Piaf Pandora station is great for cooking leisurely summer meals.
Frank Sinatra is a little too jazzy for this experiment, isn’t he?
You could also go for some of the experimental classical music that came out of early 20th century Europe. Or even traditional classical, if you’re willing to give up on the cool points: Stravinsky’s “Rite of Spring” is pretty freakin Aryan. But I’m not sure if that falls outside of your parameters.
Off the top of my head, Carmina Burana. As imagined by Orff, it goes back to primitive percussion and thus speaks to the immediate and the blood, which are the definition of coolness.
From their fans, yes, I have thought so too, but they are one of the successors to disco along with new wave and electro hip hop, and disco was influenced by funk and soul.
I personally wasn’t thinking in terms of fans, but in terms of the music, but it depends on what kind of synth pop. The melodies and harmonies to a lot of it just sounds “white” to me, and not funk/soul influenced, but it depends on what synth pop we’re talking about. Duran Duran definitely has funk and R&B in it. Men Without Hats, not so much. In one sense, we can pretty much eliminate any music with a backbeat, so that would eliminate much of the last several decades of pop music.
The Indigo Girls are pretty damm white. They both had college degrees, one in theology, and one in English, and their music was full of all sorts of literary and historical references, but I thought they were pretty cool. They were also lesbians during that really brief “lesbian-chic” thing.
Oops…wanted to leave “classical music” out of the mix, because it rarely encompasses jazz or blues (sorry, Darius Milhaud’s La Creation du Monde)! Or anything before, say, 1920. Most of which is only cool to nerds like me, anyway.
Sinatra is a good choice. When I was young and stupid, I used to think he should record with small combos as a jazz singer (he started out with Tommy Dorsey’s big jazz band). Then they released some combo live perfs from Paris and Australia…with Red Norvo’s quintet…and I realized he’s NOT REALLY A JAZZ SINGER, not like Mel Torme was. He’s much better on the big ‘50s Columbia releases backed by an orchestra. Nevertheless, he is completely cool (I didn’t believe this when I was 17 and he was alive, but I do now).
Torme is completely cool too, but has much closer ties to African-American roots than the Chairman.
NO BLACKEST SOUNDING WHITE GUYS. Antithetical to the OP. Any “Polk Salad Annie” covers are RIGHT OUT.
No real depth of knowledge on the Pogues, but still wondering how many Italian-, Jewish-, Hispano-, African-, Polish-, Asian-Americans ever spin some Irish tunes and shout “MA FEETS WANTS TA DANCE!”
