Who are the tenderest people?

Wagyu cattle are prized in Japan and around the world for their exceptional tenderness due to high intra-muscular marbling. The cause of this is a combination of genetics and diet.

If we were to eat humans in the way that we eat cattle, which sub-population of humans and which particular cut would be the most prized and valued?

I’d say pre-pubescent humans would be best.

For a brief moment, I thought this might be about common humanity and empathy for others and a long, drawn-out fistfight over who loves their fellow sophont the most.

I love this place.

It would probably be a toss-up between the pre-pubescents of most First World countries. I think America would top the list, but it would be close.

Have you SEEN Americans? “Well-marbled” is an understatement!

Let’s try this in In My Humble Opinion.

General Questions Moderator

What is it, cannibalism week?

How many grams of protein are in a pound of human muscle?

Every week is cannibalism week.

That chick with the fake 9/11 story.

If I recall right from the guy they arrested on “Bones” this week: Most people taste like beef, but babies taste like fish. The younger the person, the more tender.

:confused: Then why is it called “longpork”?

And, seriously, when I had a mole burned off at the doc’s, I was sitting there saying “Erm, do I smell bacon?” and the doc was all “Um… that’s you cooking.”

Dude: It’s What’s For Dinner.

To make veal real tender they don’t let them move around much. In humans - office workers? People who go on Jerry Springer?

Would vegetarians taste better than those who aren’t? Like how cows are considered better eating than omnivores like racoons and bears.

Tell me this was in Cafe Society first though… Please!

I would think chubby kids would be the best bet. You know, the doughy kids that don’t want to run laps around the field?

WAG, someone that was too obese wouldn’t have enough muscle to really have much meat on them, but someone that was overweight but not too fat would probably have the kind of low muscle tone present in tender meats. WAG, like I said.

Yeah, I’d suspect babies would taste the best. Jonathan Swift thought so too:

9 out of 10 Morlocks surveyed answered, “Eloi!”

Bite me.

You have to consider that Castrati might be very good, along the lines of a Capon.

Assuming the genetic predisposition is Asian in origin, young, hard drinking Asians are the way to go!

The necessary lack of movement might rule out athletes and go-getter student types, but if you waited around one of those resale vidjya game stores you might find some candidates. (Skip the Wii aisle, those require more activity than you’re looking for.)

What about the legs of paraplegics?