Who cares about celebrity babies? A Toulouse-Lautrec [i.e. short & lame] post)

[Moirai]

Short and lame… snicker…

[Moirai]

@Sampiro

Yeah he did. Stewart was also a bit easier on him than he might have been on others, but he still got a couple of punches in. Of course I so wanted it to end in a screaming match that dissolved into a brokeback kiss and full-on porn, but no such luck.

Yeah, not nearly the man-crush fest that was the AFI Lifetime Achievement Award ceremony for Sean Connery that aired last night!

[Eve]

I, for one, welcome our new celebrity offspring overlords.

[Miss_Purl_McKnittington]

@Lord Ashtar

I disagree. The child of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie will have a minimum of a 21 Charisma and the spell-like ability of Charm Person at will. She’ll have the easiest life anyone has ever had. Ever.

Until she gets addicted to meth and ends up in rehab by the time she’s 16.

I think everything will go fine for her until she enters that awkward stage around age twelve or thirteen that continues indefinitely, and the tabloids start publishing stories like, “World’s Most Beautiful Couple Has An Ugly Child!!!” And then she’s going to have to suffer through a step in the formation of self-image that most people never have to go through: having an entire nations analyze your attractiveness at a time when all you really want is to be able to fill out your training bra and skip the acne.

I don’t really give a hoot one way or another for celebrities personal lives, but I am feeling pre-emptively sorry for this little girl. Pubescence under a national and shallow lens? Pure hell.

[Sean_Factotum]

I don’t. I’m so tired of hearing about all of them that I hope I’m one of the first up against the wall when they come to power. I welcome the peace and quiet that sweet, sweet Death would bring.

[Sampiro]

@Eve

I, for one, welcome our new celebrity offspring overlords.

That’s because the Prophesied One (Britney Spears lovechild by frozen sperm of the late Leo McKern) is yet to be.

[Ellen_Cherry]

@Eve

I, for one, welcome our new celebrity offspring overlords.

::: clap clap clap :::

[Lord_Ashtar]

@Duck Duck Goose

Lord Ashtar, say it out loud to yourself a few times–“Piloh Shitt, Piloh Shitt…”

[Tyler Durden]
Oh, I get it. It’s very clever.
[/TD]

[Marley23]

@Brain Wreck

It’s just more cult of the child stuff. For years we’ve known them as moral justification for everything, next as the must-have status symbol, now a fashion accessory.

Like the stupid little dogs in those stupid little handbags. :rolleyes: I don’t think you could design a better insult to children, or even the idea of perpetuating the species.

[Equipoise]

@Sampiro

She also sold the first picture rights to the baby for $4 million and donated the money to various children’s aid charities, which I thought was a classy thing to do (unlike Fergie and other celeb parents who did the same thing except they pocketed the money).

@DiosaBellissima

**From the little bits of the interview with Angie I’ve caught, I must say: she kept changing the subject back to her international goodwill work. She’d mention the baby and her other kids, but it would go right back to, “And you should see the children in these countries. . .” etc.

I dislike her, I do- but she’s a smart woman. Angie knows that most Americans could give two shits about the rest of the world, but they want to know ALL about her baby. So, watching that interview,it seems to me like she told Anderson, “Look, I’ll talk to you a bit about my baby if you focus on international issues. Do special reports, talk about it. And sprinkle me talking about the kid throughout, so people keep watching” **

I thought these needed to be repeated, since many of you are acting exactly like the sort of Attention-Span-Of-A-Gnat, Only-Hear-What-You-Want-To-Hear-As-Long-As-You-Can-Make-Snarky-Comments-About-It, Airhead-Central people that you seem to be making fun of. Jolie may have been a weird fuck-up at one point, but she seems to have done a lot to try and turn her life around, to use her celebrity to make a difference in some peope’s lives, starting with her first two children. And if it rings false to some people, fuck off, she’s already done more to help other people in the world than me, you and just about everybody else here at the Dope put together.

I don’t care much one way or another about Jolie or Pitt (though he seems like a nice guy, seems like he’ll make a great father, and I think he’s a good actor), but the more I hear about her and them, the more respect I have for them. Putting Jolie in the same box as Paris Hilton as a celebrity shows extreme ignorance and/or assholishness.

And Shiloh is a beautiful name. I’ll bet she’ll be a fascinating person, who by the time she grows up will have seen much of the impoverished world that few celebrities’ kids even know exist. I’ll bet she’ll be compassionate and caring, and a worthwhile human being.

[Jackmannii]

@Equipoise

And Shiloh is a beautiful name.

You betcha. I’m just disappointed that there was no twin brother to be named “Bull Run” or “the Wilderness”. "And in football news, Heisman Trophy-winning rusher “Bull Run Piloh…I mean Shiloh Pitt was drafted today by the Pittsburgh Steelers.”
Cue inspiring movie theme music.

I’ll bet she’ll be a fascinating person, who by the time she grows up will have seen much of the impoverished world that few celebrities’ kids even know exist. I’ll bet she’ll be compassionate and caring, and a worthwhile human being.

Never too soon to start thinking about the Democratic Presidential nomination in 2044.

[Indygrrl]

@Equipoise

And Shiloh is a beautiful name. I’ll bet she’ll be a fascinating person, who by the time she grows up will have seen much of the impoverished world that few celebrities’ kids even know exist. I’ll bet she’ll be compassionate and caring, and a worthwhile human being.

Either that or she’ll be really fucked up and write an awesome tell-all book a la Christina Crawford.

“Maddox, Shiloh…dammmmmnit!”

[twickster]

@Miss Purl McKnittington

I think everything will go fine for her until she enters that awkward stage around age twelve or thirteen that continues indefinitely, and the tabloids start publishing stories like, “World’s Most Beautiful Couple Has An Ugly Child!!!” And then she’s going to have to suffer through a step in the formation of self-image that most people never have to go through: having an entire nations analyze your attractiveness at a time when all you really want is to be able to fill out your training bra and skip the acne.

I don’t really give a hoot one way or another for celebrities personal lives, but I am feeling pre-emptively sorry for this little girl. Pubescence under a national and shallow lens? Pure hell.

The good news is, there’s an excellent chance that no one will care about either of her parents in 12 or 13 years.

[Mayo_Speaks]

@Jackmannii

<snip>
Never too soon to start thinking about the Democratic Presidential nomination in 2044.

Too late. I’ve already got that one sewn up. I’ll be 57, which is the perfect age to run for president. And they say that if you’re not already running, it’s too late. So vote Mayo Speaks! in '44. Working slogan: “Mayo, because it’s short for Mayonnaise.”

[gigi]

@Hampshire

Shiloh is her middle name. Her first name is Michelle.

(schweeet!)

Is this a joke I’m missing? Tell me, please!! (Since the baby is Shiloh Nouvel.)

[Miss_Purl_McKnittington]

gigi, say “missile silo” with a lisp.

[gigi]

@Miss Purl McKnittington

gigi, say “missile silo” with a lisp.

Thanks!

[42fish]

@Sampiro

They [Brangelina] had a kid, I’m happy for them, I hope it’s healthy and I wish them well, but why the fuck do you put Anderson Cooper (I won’t claim he’s this generations Edward R. Murrow but at least he’s a cut above) on something more worthy of Jay Leno?

Just as an aside, did you know that Edward R. Murrow (who was his generation’s Edward R. Murrow) did celebrity fluff pieces along with his hard-hitting journalism? (*Good Night and Good Luck * re-creates a Murrow interview with Liberace.)

[Viridiana]

Well, who really gives a fuck about anything about celebrities?

Unfortunately, most people. Me, I say throw 'em all in a big canister, and just dump it in the sea, and then we can get back to advancing the world!

Or dwelling on other superfluous crap, whichever comes first.

[Mtgman]

I don’t know. Of all the celebrity faces I could see spouting their pet topic on the news I’m thinking Angelina is one of the least obnoxious. She’s not threatening to leave the country if someone she doesn’t like is re-elected, she’s not talking about file-sharing and how it’s killing the music industry, she’s not talking about rehab and her drug problems, or bitching about the papparazi. All in all I think she’s one of our least useless celebrities. She’s certainly put her money where her mouth is with two third-world adoptions and her work with the UN. The part about giving a third of her income to charity is kind of unimpressive. That’s about what the government would take out of someone with her income so she’s probably just redirecting it from Uncle Sam and the great state of California to Non-Government Organizations.

I’d say on the whole that her behavior is a net good and we could do a lot worse than to have her in the national spotlight.

Enjoy,
Steven