Hyemin is at a dinner party with her schoolmates. She has been enjoying her conversation with her senior named Taehoon. They have known each other for over one year. Hyemin tells Taehoon that she is tired and too drunk, so she wants to go home. Taehoon offers to bring her to a nearby motel. Hyemin is worried at first, but Taehoon promises that he will be the perfect gentleman—besides, he says, he is like her older brother. Hyemin goes to the motel with Taehoon; however, while she starts to sleep, Taehoon makes sexual advances. Hyemin says she only wants to sleep and keeps rejecting Taehoon until Taehoon becomes frustrated and angry. Hyemin asks Taehoon why he tricked her into coming to the hotel. Taehoon counters saying Hyemin knew his intention all along and knew what was going to happen. Taehoon reminds Hyemin that he paid for the motel room and then tells Hyemin to stop pretending to be innocent.
With 100% being the most blame and 0% being the lowest blame, how would you distribute it between Taehoon and Hyemin? Why?
Situation 2:
Susanna has been married to John for 10 years. Only John works and they have no children. Susanna usually spends her day watching television until John gets home. While Susanna sometimes cooks dinner, she usually bickers with John until they go out to eat instead. For the last year, Susanna has been rejecting John’s sexual advances. One night after John came home from a late business dinner of which including heavy drinking, John tries to initiate sex with Susanna. When Susanna tells John that she is too tired, John holds her down and continues. While Susanna does repeatedly ask John to stop, she does not fight him and she does not receive any injuries.
With 100% being the most blame and 0% being the lowest blame, how would you distribute it between Susanna and John? Why?
Situation 3:
Suji is upset because her boyfriend, Jake, of seven years has to work overtime. She knows that he just bought her an expensive handbag and new earrings, so has to work more to pay off the credit card bills. Suji goes out to the club and then goes to a hotel with a man to have sex. Jake’s friend tells Jake about seeing Suji go into the hotel with the man. The next night, when Jake comes home, he is in a rage. He screams at Suji who admits she had an affair. Finally, Jake slaps Suji one time across the face.
With 100% being the most blame and 0% being the lowest blame, how would you distribute it between Suji and Jake? Why?
In Scenario 3, Suji is 100% at fault for being an ungrateful bitch and a slut, while Jake is 100% at fault for assaulting her. This isn’t a pie chart thing that always adds up to 100.
In Scenario 2, Susanna is an ungrateful idiot but John’s a rapist, which is a lot worse. Again, 100% blame either way, though in John’s case it’s 100% of a much more serious offense.
In Scenario 1 I suppose Taehoon is mostly at fault, but really, at fault for what? It’s an uncomfortable situation but nobody’s gotten hurt.
In Scenario 1,
Because Taehoon took advantage of someone who was intoxicated, someone who was supposed to be his friend. Even when she rejected him he just had to keep pushing and try to guilt her into acquiescing.
John carries 100% of the blame.
Because he raped his wife. She sounds like a total fucking bitch who’s leeching off of her husband but the remedy is divorce, not rape.
I had typed up something that I felt was ultimately inadequate at responding to this scenario. But RickJay’s response is better and I agree with it completely: She’s responsible for being an ungrateful whore and he’s responsible for hitting her.
Hyemin is 100% to blame for getting too drunk and agreeing to go to the motel. Taehoon is 100% to blame for lying about his intentions and being a jerk.
John is 100% a rapist. I don’t have sufficient information to know why Susanna is disinterested in sex and bickers every night but she is 100% responsible for doing so.
Suji is 100% to blame for her infidelity. Jake is 100% to blame for his criminal battery.
In every case because you and only you are responsible for all of your actions.
Just for clarification: Please split the 100% between them so that the total is 100% e.g., 30% + 70% = 100%. Of course you do not have to; however, it adds a restriction that makes the answers more defined and interesting. It’s too easy to blame everyone. For discussion sake at least.
Everybody so far has identified one participant, and one only, as being wholly to blame for each wrong identified. How can you tell them to apportion the blame between two or more participants? Are you saying that the views expressed already are wrong? Do you want them to tell you what they think, or to guess what you think and tell you that instead?
100% of the blame rests with Taehoon. If you insist on being opaquely coy about your intentions, especially when talking to a drunk person, it’s entirely your fault if they take your offer at face value.
Let’s say 20%-80%. Susanna is a leech. John is a rapist.
Approximately 99%-1%. Suji is scum, and I wouldn’t blame someone for hitting her if she stabs people in the back for doing nice things for her.
None of those. I wished to clarify my initial question. You need not worry, I won’t go to anyone’s house to make them answer a certain way–it was a suggestion.
I came to understand a long time ago that once I post something on the Internet, people will respond to it however they want. The only thing that I can do is clarify if I feel that I might have been too vague or confusing.
If someone feels that someone deserves some of the blame, sure, throw them into the mix. It might add something that I haven’t thought of yet.
No worries, if you got what I was saying and wanted to do it another way because you don’t like my way–that’s cool. I only wanted to clarify my own ambiguity if there was any.
I agree with previous posters, but I will hedge my answers in this way:
Example 1 - Taehoon is 90% responsible for the situation. He’s a scumbag who obviously had intentions of taking advantage of his drunk friend. Hyemin is 10% at blame; she should never have agreed to go to a motel with him (seriously, WTF?) although the alcohol likely contributed.
Example 2 - John gets 100% of the blame.
Example 3 - Jake’s offense pales in comparison to Suji’s, so I would assign him about 5% of the blame, and Suji 95%. Which is not to be an apologist for spousal abuse, but a slap in the face is not in the same class as cheating on your longtime boyfriend because you are an ungrateful slut.